Okay parents, I need your input....

[Fishbone†]

I'm planning on giving my niece a Disney Cruise for her birthday. I am quite sure she will be very excited, but just in case she's not (she's 13 you know.... they are SO unpredictable), or she can't (her mom's kind of funny about missing Basketball (of all things) and school sometimes.... but only if it's not about her.... if it benefits her (my SIL) then my niece misses school/basketball, otherwise, it's hit and miss), I've also decided to offer her the option of.... say a $100 gift certificate somewhere... just as an "equal" option. I don't normally spend this much AT ALL, it's just I want to take her on the cruise, but want to offer a "fair" second choice if we run into problems. ANYWAY, here's my dilemma. Do I tell my DB and SIL what I'm giving her ahead of time to avoid any "surprises" or problems, or do I just give it to her like I would any other gift...... without prior approval?? As a parent, would you be upset if this were her gift and you didn't know about it ahead of time?? The cruise is actually in January, her birthday in April, so there's plenty of time between the two for planning.....
The only reason I lean towards "just giving it to her", is to avoid being shut down for "silly" reasons.... I love my SIL, but she can be a bit of a stickler, and a micro-manager (for example, the girls' bedtime is 9:00..... 9:01 is a crisis!!! When I watched them while my DB and her were in Mexico last year, she would call between 9:01 and 9:05 every night to make sure they were in bed... of course they ALWAYS were ...... good thing they can be so quiet while I'm on the phone..... ). I'm of the philosophy that life just isn't that serious, and that a lot can be learned & experienced outside of the bounderies..... within reason.
What do you parents think...... I could use your input..... I don't want to create an issue..... I just want to spend a super fun week with my niece.

Sorry that was so long.....

 

[RNMOM]

I would say definitly get parents permission before mentioning it to your niece. I would not like it if someone got my kids excited and I had to be the bad guy because of some event or such that the other party did not know about.

This sounds like a wonderful gift. Good for you!

 

[tink2dw]

I vote for telling the parents 1st!! Because a $100. gift card just is NOT equal to a Disney Cruise. And if the parents say No, then YOU haven't caused an incedent where the child will resent her parents for not letting her go. While you remain the Wonderful Aunt that gave her a $100. gift card.

 

[mamajoan]

Tell the parents first.. if they shoot it down... don't feel bad, it is their daughter so they set the limits. If you were my childs auntie I would most likely let her go. Different strokes for different folks. Since your SIL is a "stickler", make a little presentation about your gift to them. Give them all the information anyone would ever want about a DCL trip. I would not tell them about your option plan of the gift card. If they say that you neice may not go with you.. then purchase another gift (I think that a 13 y/o would flip for a $100 gift card!)

I hope that they will say yes! My ds was 13 when we did DCL.. he had an absolute BLAST!. Now that he is 15 he still would like to do it again.
GOOD LUCK!

 

[tiggerlover]

I am with everyone else, I would definitely speak to her parents first. I agree with RNMOM, "I would not like it if someone got my kids excited and I had to be the bad guy because of some event or such that the other party did not know about." Good luck, you will have to let us know how it works out.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

As a parent I would be very upset if I was not informed because I would not allow you to take my kid out of school, and then I would have to say NO.
I don't understand why you can't plan it for a time when she isn't in school if taking her on a Disney cruise is really what you want to do?

 

[Dream]

Afraid I'm with everybody else here Fishy...gotta tell the parents first. What a great Auntie you are!!! I hope it all works out!!

 

[Dan Murphy]

I agree with all the above. And wish I had you for my aunt. Good luck.

 

[Pooh93]

Ask the parents first and I hope they let her go!!!! Keep us updated on this one!

 

[Boo'sMom]

yup..gotta agree with eveyone else...best of luck to you....and your DN...she'll love it!

 

[helenabear]

I agree with everyone else!! Good luck

 

[Jeafl]

My gut feeling is to ask the parents first. Your SIL may be resentful that you went over her head and say no automatically if you don't.

I would schmooze the SIL and say that you think her daughter is so terrific and that you want to do something special for her, etc. Maybe if you butter her up ahead of time she'll let her go. Good luck--you're a wonderful aunt for even thinking of this!

 

[Serena]

Yeah, I would tell them first. They just may shoot it down, but at least your neice won't be disappointed. And that is most important.

Can I be your neice?????

 

[AMClvsMKY]

I would ask the parents first. What a nice thing to do for her, hopefully her parents will realize what an opportunity this would be for her and will give you their consent.

Good Luck...........let us know what they say.

 

[Fishbone†]

I don't understand why you can't plan it for a time when she isn't in school if taking her on a Disney cruise is really what you want to do?

Because MysteryMachine, unfortunately Disney Cruises are 2 to 3 times more expensive when the kids are off school, and I have 5 nieces. I want to take each of them.... one each year, and although I'm single, I'm not rich. Just enough extra to spend a little time with the "loves of my life" There's a lot they can learn on a cruise that they could never learn in school..... and I'm not asking to take her for an extended period of time.... it's my SIL's choice obviously, but in the whole scheme of things... large picture..... 10 years down the road, will missing one week of school really matter that much??

Thanks everyone for your input....I guess it's unanimous......hmmm, I wish that wasn't the case, but I'll take your advice none-the-less.

P.S. Serena.... if Britt doesn't want to go, I'll let you know.... maybe you'd like to take her place.

 

[jfulcer]

Originally posted by Fishbone†


P.S. Serena.... if Britt doesn't want to go, I'll let you know.... maybe you'd like to take her place.

I agree with everyone... but also to be fair, Dan asked first to go with.

 

[Serena]

Oh yeah!!

I hope she's able to go. You sound like you really love and have fun with them. I'm sure they know that already.

 

[Serena]

Originally posted by jfulcer
I agree with everyone... but also to be fair, Dan asked first to go with.

Darn it!

 

[Keli]

I guess I'm just a little onery sometimes but when discussing this with your DB and SIL I would mention that you intend to take each of your 5 neices on a cruise (one each year, I think?). Assuming that all five girls are not your DB and SIL's but some of your other siblings children? Then your SIL may not want her girls to be the only ones left out of this grand plan and it may encourage her to let your neice go if her reasons for saying no are petty rather than based on solid issues.

 

[mamajoan]

ah.. Keli makes a very good point! Informing them that your plan is to take all 5 nieces over a period of time is a great idea...
btw you might want to let the entire adult family know of this plan. You would avoid MANY hurt feelings and lost souls if one finds out way before the other.

God Love ya.. you are a great Auntie!!! could you whisper into to my kids Aunties ears??... LOL!