OK, super embarrassing, but so funny! AKA:The Fart Thread

[jmskinner]

Today at work we had our Thanksgiving lunch. I had a new pair of shoes arrive today so I changed into them as soon as I got them but they were a little tight and created suction on my feet. Every time I walked around, especially on the wood floors you would hear this little noise from my feet. I was so embarrassed and afraid people would think I got really bad gas from the lunch.

Oh, I hate when that happens!

 

[WDWBarb]

When DS was 2 years old, I was starting to potty train him to poop in the toilet. Anytime I'd hear him pass gas I'd ask, "Are you pooping?" That way I could get him on the toilet right away.

Fast forward to DS and I at Wal-Mart. DS is sitting in the front of the shopping cart. I'm pushing the shopping cart down a food isle and stop in front of the jarred spaghetti sauces to find the right kind of sauce. A very pregnant lady is next to me bending over to pick up something from the bottom shelf. The pressure from being bent over caused her to rip a loud one. DS exclaims very loudly, "Is she pooping mom? Is she pooping?" I grabbed the handle bar and dashed away as fast as I could and never looked back!

This one just caused me to choke on my coffee!!!

 

[Amelia Peabody]

This isn't all that funny but confuses the heck out of me....


Two separate times, while I was in the bathroom at the office, the person in the next stall excused themselves for farting. What? Isn't that the place you are supposed to fart in? First of all the pressure of bending to sit will push it out. And if you are there to poop, chances are gas will be first.

So.... if a person is alone in the potty, so they say excuse me?

Anyone else ever hear it? The excuse me, not the fart.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

This isn't all that funny but confuses the heck out of me....


Two separate times, while I was in the bathroom at the office, the person in the next stall excused themselves for farting. What? Isn't that the place you are supposed to fart in? First of all the pressure of bending to sit will push it out. And if you are there to poop, chances are gas will be first.

So.... if a person is alone in the potty, so they say excuse me?

Anyone else ever hear it? The excuse me, not the fart.

LOL! Last January, I went to Foxwoods with my sisters for my birthday...I posted this back then....

http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=22880056&postcount=505

 

[chell]

This isn't all that funny but confuses the heck out of me....


Two separate times, while I was in the bathroom at the office, the person in the next stall excused themselves for farting. What? Isn't that the place you are supposed to fart in? First of all the pressure of bending to sit will push it out. And if you are there to poop, chances are gas will be first.

So.... if a person is alone in the potty, so they say excuse me?

Anyone else ever hear it? The excuse me, not the fart.

I've done that at work. I try to hold it in if I know someone else is in the restroom at the same time. Guess I get embarrassed or something. Yes, I know I am odd.

 

[Dax]

Ok, I am reading through this post..and cannot control my laughter.

While at home, I usually DO NOT let them rip in front of DH, but he does. Occasionaly they do slip though..LOL..I try and cover it, but my laughter usually is a dead give away.

DH is famous for letting them out in the store, then running..You can usually hear him snorting with laughter in the next aisle. He did it once, and it seems someone heard him, and they started laughing too...and whenever we saw them in the store later, fits of giggles continued.

 

[MariDisney]

When my now ex-DH and I first began dating in college we were just hanging out one night watching a movie or something. Every few minutes he got up and walked out into the hallway for a moment and came back. I bet he did it a dozen times over the course of 2 hours. I guess I was too new to the relationship to ask what he was doing (we were only dating a few weeks) and he didn't offer any explaination. I honestly thought he was popping pills or something!! Turns out he was going out to relieve his gas. I found out years later when I finally thought to ask him. I thought he was a freak that night...maybe I should have taken that as a warning not to marry him!

 

[Soarin08]

I read this whole thread tonight!!!

Here's mine- I live in a dorm, so naturally I have a roommate. Well Katie and I are getting ready to go to bed one night, she gets up, turns off the light, kinda flops back on the bed, and.... you guessed. It was SO LOUD!! And I always worried about not letting one loose with her in the room- forget it!!!

 

[IndyBride]

You guys this is soooo great! I'm not one for bathroom humor but this stuff is just to good! This has been the worst thanksgiving ever and reading this thread made me laugh a little. No tears-probably because of the meloncholy but I giggled. Can't wait to read the rest!

 

[sunnyday123]

I'll tell on myself here - but don't tell anyone! Back in the "honeymoon" period of dating my bf (dh now) we went out to eat at Red Lobster. When we returned to my house, my bf went to the bathroom. At that moment I realized I needed to relieve myself and did so - it smelled SOOOO bad I could smell it and realize how horrible it was. I was mortified b/c I had only dated him a few times and really liked him. So what did I do? I sprayed the air with my perfume to mask the smell. So dh2b comes back, crinkles his nose and said "what is that god awful smell? did your perfume go bad?" so at that point, I died laughing of embarrassment and told the truth.

To this day, 10 years later, he still talks of what he likes to call my "Red Lobster f*$#". And we haven't been back to RL since.

I don't think I am going to be able to get through this thread!!

 

[sunnyday123]

OMG you guys have given me my best laugh of the day

My story was of my dear father(God rest his soul) drinking carrot juice one day. Carrot juice gave him the worst gas. He was getting ready for bed and let one rip. The noxious fumes were so bad that our poor cat came racing out of the bedroom as fast as he could, ran straight into the bathroom door and knocked himself out cold. Poor kitty stayed away from my dad after that.

funniest. thing. ever.

 

[babytrees]

I thought of this thread last night....

My poor 12 year old had the most noxious fumes coming from her last night. At one point I told her that I believe that smell is illegal in at least 3 states. She looked mortified and said "I hope not the state we are in".

 

[MouseJunkie]

I have a few stories:

Last night at Thanksgiving after dinner, thank goodness, my mom farted in front of about 6 people. I just sat there and laughed while everyone else pretended not to hear it. My mom kind of had that mortified look on her face, while saying excuse me.

Me I farted once in gym class while doing jumping jacks. Unlike my mom, I just pretended I didn't do it and went on.

My boss farted once at work and it was pretty loud. I started cracking up. She kind of laughed too, but when I was still laughing (I couldn't seem to stop...had a case of the giggles after the initial laugh), she says I didn't think it was that funny. Well, apparently I did. It was funny!

 

[jmskinner]

I thought of this tonight:

We were driving home from dinner and this slow romantic song came on so I thought I would be cute and grab my husbands shoulder and sway back and forth. He looks at me and asks what I was doing, I told him I was being silly. He replied, "Oh, I thought you were using me to lift up one cheek. I didn't know I had become a fart prop?" I cracked up and then said I will have to post this.

 

[Babboo]

LMAOBSOMN! When I found this thread the one below it has the subject "Hibachi Style". Thought I was going to die laughing!

I now return you to your normal (???) thread. Thank you for your attention.

 

[trennr]

New to this thread.

Yesterday at work...I'm in the restroom...urinal...a guy comes in and takes a "seat"...I hear some "business" then all of a sudden there's clap of thunder like Lightening hits our roof.

I go...dang!...that's some serious gas you got there.

 

[Darsa]

My DD13 used to take gymnastics along with her dance classes, but she decided she didn't want to do that anymore. I was puzzled because she always LOVED gymnastics and was really good at it. I finally was able to get out of her the reason why she decided to quit: Every time she went down into a bridge she couldn't NOT fart. Apparently the teachers were used to this kind of thing, but poor DD was FAR too mortified to fart in front of all of the kids much less the teachers!

 

[dvczerfs]

i love this thread, sign me up!!

 

[dvczerfs]

we were out w/ an old friend of mine and his wife. we were in a dept. store and he is in an row,by himself. i her him yelling to my wife,tammy,tammy come hear i want to show you something. my dw walked into the row, started down the row and started coughing! ill i hear her say is ,what did you eat? and what happens in there! he just walked away! he use to pull that on me in high school. 20 years later and he hasnt changed a bit. i quess the class clown is always the class clown!

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

OMG my DH knows when I do the lean what is about to happen. I tell him they are love puffs

My biggest fear is doing it at the Gyno appt.

I thought of this tonight:

We were driving home from dinner and this slow romantic song came on so I thought I would be cute and grab my husbands shoulder and sway back and forth. He looks at me and asks what I was doing, I told him I was being silly. He replied, "Oh, I thought you were using me to lift up one cheek. I didn't know I had become a fart prop?" I cracked up and then said I will have to post this.