OK, super embarrassing, but so funny! AKA:The Fart Thread

[Linnie The Pooh]

This weekend, my mom got adjoining rooms for us at a hotel with a waterslide. Her & my nephews; me & my 2 kids. I'm not around my nephews that much anymore so I thought it would be fun to get them together with my kids. For dinner, Mom went and got KFC for everyone and put it in my room. Here comes DN10 walking in the room, just ripping these horrible farts. I told him to go back in his own room but he informed me he was coming into our room to eat. I told him not doing that he wasn't! I guess he farts a lot. My mom said the next morning, "D woke up and started in on his farting." Gee, that must be pleasant!

 

[LisaNJ25]

This weekend, my mom got adjoining rooms for us at a hotel with a waterslide. Her & my nephews; me & my 2 kids. I'm not around my nephews that much anymore so I thought it would be fun to get them together with my kids. For dinner, Mom went and got KFC for everyone and put it in my room. Here comes DN10 walking in the room, just ripping these horrible farts. I told him to go back in his own room but he informed me he was coming into our room to eat. I told him not doing that he wasn't! I guess he farts a lot. My mom said the next morning, "D woke up and started in on his farting." Gee, that must be pleasant!

that kfc does it all of the time.

 

[laurie31]

2. This morning I was sitting at my desk reading this thread and did a silent one. I got up to go to the fax machine and came back to find my boss about to sit down in my chair. Upon sitting the cushion kicked the odor back up at him. He said " I think it is time to get you a new chair. This one smells" I could not wait forhim to leave so I could call me wife.

Untold secrets of how to get new office furniture!! Only on the DIS!!

 

[chell]

that kfc does it all of the time.

Exactly what I was thinking!

 

[Ride Junkie]

2. This morning I was sitting at my desk reading this thread and did a silent one. I got up to go to the fax machine and came back to find my boss about to sit down in my chair. Upon sitting the cushion kicked the odor back up at him. He said " I think it is time to get you a new chair. This one smells" I could not wait for him to leave so I could call me wife.

OMG, I almost spit tea all over my keyboard!! Great, now I'm crying...that is just hilarious!!

I have a question: Why is it that nobody will come into your cubicle for 3 hours, and then when you do a "one cheek sneak", someone walks in 3 seconds later? And, unfortunately, it's the boss?!

Not that it just happened to me or anything...

 

[ClaraBug]

: "one cheek sneak"

I love that!!

I will have to remember that one for later!!

 

[Ride Junkie]

I love that!!

I will have to remember that one for later!!

Another one of my favorites is "cushion creeper".

I think I need to lay off the trail mix!

 

[PenguinWaiters]

that depends, where is Will?

Fire at Will!

OK, I have just read all 30 pages....I am laughing so hard DH keeps asking me "have you been drinking?"

 

[Indianadisneyfan]

Ok I have one. About 25 yrs ago my dad,sister and me was at target looking at fishing poles. Back then they had them on the top shelf crossing each other and pointing to the other side. Well when my dad was done looking at the pole he put it back on the top shelve and it hit another pole and knocked it over . It fell over and landed across the isle and almost hit some guy. He yelled 'hey' and we all started laughing and then "it happened". My dad started to let 3 or 4 of them go while he was laughing which in turn made us laugh more which caused him to do it more. Yes it was vicious cycle.

 

[mommiepoppins]

bump this thread cracks me up Everytime I am on my computer and I laugh about any topic my kids are like "mommy are you laughing at the farts"

 

[Kathring]

BAAHHHAAHHHAA - this thread is... PRICELESS!!!

Hmm - what I have I got for you?

In my early 20's my Mom & I would take longish road trips (usually, taking me back to college or some such). On this one trip, we both must have eaten SOEMTHING horrid - the farting commenced. The term - "double window blowout" came in handy as a warning of the noxious fumes we were spewing! I'm sure we would NOT have lived through that car drive had we not introduced this new warning system! LOL!

My Family is originally from Switzerland. When gathered together, if someone was feeling the need - that person holds up one finger and says "ACHTUNG"!, in advance of any tooting.

Finally - my DH. Love this man - but WHOA can he ever let them RIP! He is of French descent & has now earned the nickname: MFF (My Farting Frenchman). He too has trained the kids to pull his finger... sigh, & LOL!

 

[mattsdragon]

Farts=guaranteed humor. You'ld think my wife would be used to them by now.

And, for the record, I have crop dusted a queue or two.

 

[Chantilly]

Some friends and I are putting on a sketch comedy show to raise funds for a local theatre. One of the sketches is 2 office workers in an elevator who break into a badly done Fred & Ginger fantasy dance. It is an absolutely hysterical scene that includes a very simple, but poorly executed lift near the end. During one early rehearsal - which the director and several other cast members decided to watch - "Fred" went to pick me up and ripped an atrocious one! Fortunately, my back was to the audience so I could laugh til I cried but poor "Fred" couldn't hide it. The best part was afterwards when the choreographer reprimanded him for allowing the audience's laughter to "break his concentration"!!

 

[mommiepoppins]

bump

 

[FayeW]

that depends, where is Will?

Fire at Will!

OK, I have just read all 30 pages....I am laughing so hard DH keeps asking me "have you been drinking?"

Okay, THAT just made me laugh til I cried. I don't know why it struck me so funny, but I woke the cat up and he's giving me the hairy eyeball.

 

[mamaprincess]

Yaaayyyyy, I love this thread!!! Thanks for bringing it back!

 

[DisGirlAllie]

I did that to my sister about 10 years ago, only we were in a CAR WASH!! She was clawing at the windows, and choking.

So, just this past week, my occasional gastrointestinal distress really haunted me, by way of my 7yo! we were on vacation, and i had invited my friend and her daughter to come visit for a night at the resort. her Dd brought a game where you have to answer a question by writing it down, and everyone has to guess your answer.

My DS7 got this "I think one of the worst smells in the world is......." so, he diligently starts writing, tongue sticking out for concentration and everything. The kids all start guessing "the cat when she was sprayed by a skunk!" nope. "The stink bug in Disney's a Bug's Life attraction!" no. "skunk in the road!" uh uh.

what did my DARLING 7yo write down for all to see INCLUDING my friend? He thinks the worst smell in the world are "my moms farts"

oh yeah, it was a great moment of embarassment!

Laurie31 - I hate to tell you, but I think you've killed this thread AGAIN ! Okay, I've got another one...my DSIL had knee surgery, and was on a pair of crutches. She and DB lived in Chicago at the time, with their sons, who were then small children. They had taken a visitor to a local museum, where there was an Egyptian temple that you could walk through, reassembled on site. DSIL hobbled in and let one go, figuring it was as private a place as she could find in the well-trafficked exhibit. Unfortunately, the f*rt kept bouncing around inside the stone walls in the narrow walkway inside the temple, and unsuspecting visitors kept walking into it and commenting on it, to the amusement of my nephews. The best part was DSIL trying to hobble away form the scene of the crime on her crutches!

Well, okay, but you realize that with my first story all I had to admit to was a small, practically unnoticable fart, and with this I'll have to admit to a real killer! I have the ability to take all natural ingredients and turn them into pure poison, and onions are at the top of that list. Out of love and respect for my family I try to avoid them at all costs, but sometimes I slip up. Summer of 2000 my DH had 4 weeks of extra vacation, so we took an extended family car trip down through CA and back up the coast. Lots and lots of family togetherness. We had looped over to Las Vegas and were then headed to Anaheim. The night before I'd had a teeny, tiny bit of potato salad. So there we are, traveling through inland SoCal in mid July so it's hot outside. Very hot. Air conditioning blasting in the car, and I couldn't help it, out came a real burner. At the time my girls were 16 and 13 and already thinking everything I do is pretty gross. So now I've trapped them in a green fog without being able to open the car windows. I swear to you they tried to monitor every mouthful of food I ate the rest of the trip. At least I get a little more acknowledgement for the dietary sacrifices I make now! My oldest is the one who dubbed it "The Tragic Incident..." and it's part of our family lore. They're still a little afraid to get in a car with me.

Tears are streaming down my face after this one. Ding, ding, ding we have a winner!

 

[Tinkerbell_Tiffany]

ok ya'll gotta watch this!
I about died laughing and my kids were rolling on the floor laughing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxfIDpset2I

 

[Tinkerbell_Tiffany]

I put this on the other board too.....

That reminds me when me and the hubby was in wal-mart.
I was shopping beside him looking at the clothes rack and there was another lady looking as well on the other side.
well my hubby decides to let one without me knowing and walks away, then I finally smell it and I knew it was him. omg it was soooo bad. the other lady smelled it and gave me a dirty look, I was never so embarrassed in my llfe...hubby is lucky he is still alive after that little prank!!!

 

[klmall]

Just checking my bookmark for this thread and remembered a very old story from elementary school. Mind you, this was Catholic school complete with nuns, uniforms and no FUN ever! I think it was grade 5 or 6 and we were doing the dreaded grammar exercises, the kind with 20 or 30 fill in the blank sentences and it was a hard one. People were making errors over and over. Sister Veronica kept correcting each mistake and even by #20 we still didn't have the hang of it. She told us to really concentrate and think before we read and answered.

Well, the next person started his sentence clear and strong and from the back of the room, you guessed it, someone let a big, loud one go! Despite our giggles, the reader continued and CORRECTLY filled in his sentence. But I guess Sister Veronica with all that nunstuff headgear never heard the cardinal offense because her comment was "Now we're cooking with gas!"