OK, super embarrassing, but so funny! AKA:The Fart Thread

[Disney1fan2002]

Just wanted to share this with my fart friends...it is so funny!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3ejlkzDCuc

 

[Ride Junkie]

My DH was home from leave just a couple of weeks ago and after we laid down to go to sleep, he let one rip and the dog jumped. I guess she forgot what it sounds like having him around.

Oh man, that is one of the funniest things I've heard in a while. He scared the dog. That's awesome.

Thanks for this thread guys -- I love fart humor!!

 

[TigerKat]

Just wanted to share this with my fart friends...it is so funny!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3ejlkzDCuc

I've been missing this thread - now I'm in tears after watching the video!

 

[Ride Junkie]

My son was staying at his grandparents one night last year. He burped as he was walking by his grammie. She said in a stern type of voice, "DGS, what goes along with that (thinking he would say excuse me)?" DS says innocently, "A fart?!"

That reminds me of my 11 YO niece. She has done this ever since she was little. When she would fart, and someone would ask her, "What do you say?" (expecting an "excuse me"), she would reply, "Thank you!" I guess she got them confused when she was little...then when she got older, she realized that we all thought it was funny. So she still says it today.

 

[Narnian_Princess]

Just wanted to share this with my fart friends...it is so funny!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3ejlkzDCuc

Oh, man, that's hilarious!

 

[Mellie2162]

OMG! I cannot believe this thread. I rarely come to the community board and now it's sucking my brains out of my head. Ok. Now I must share.

My MIL when she was alive, loved farting. It was her thing. To do it loudly and make people laugh really got her going, which is the reason why I rarely would go shopping with her. This one day she is in the grocery store doing her shopping and subsequently her farting when she goes to the deli counter to get some lunch meats. She is there alone for a few minutes and continues to fart some of the stinkiest things you ever smelled. A few seconds later an older woman walks up beside her to get some lunch meats as well. She watches the woman stand there and crinkle her nose then the woman gets this look of horror on her face and says to my MIL.... I think these meats are rotten, Im not gonna get any of them.....MIL without missing a beat says yes they do smell bad.

 

[jann1033]

LOL!

Once when my sister was about 13, we were out shopping, and she got bored and so went out to the car all by herself. She was sitting in there and realized she had some gas, and because she didn't want the car to be stinky when we came back, she opened the door just enough to stick her bottom out of the car and direct it outside. She said that after she had done her deed, she noticed a group of four men in suits walking across the parking lot who had witnessed the whole thing. She said they were all cracking up laughing.

don't know how i missed this thread in all these months but this one just killed me..yes i am a 53 yr old woman with the brain of a 12 yr old boy

 

[ILoveSawyer]

I have never farted in my life!

 

[jann1033]

This is the best thread! I've laughed until I cried, so I might as well add a story of mine...

I was in the hospital after delivering DS via c-section. Things were very chaotic with the nursing staff, and they didn't get the instructions from my OB to take me off of the liquid diet after the first day. I wasn't very hungry, so I never complained, until the gas started building up inside a day or so later. The morning I was scheduled to be released, dietary finally brought a regular diet tray, and I scarfed down a bowl of Raisin Bran. Not too long afterwards I locked myself in the bathroom to relieve some pressure. There was no way to mask the sounds, so I knew DH would be laughing his head off in my room. Imagine my surprise...and horror...when I opened the bathroom door to find standing room only. DH, DD, Mom, DSis, OB, med student, 2 nurses and a lab tech. OB calmly says "well I can hear that everything's working the way it's supposed to be working." I could have died!

My uncle always says "did you hear that spider bark?" whenever he farts.

 

[SplshMtn99]

OMG, the timeliness of this thread is perfect.

My dad is still in the hospital because 1 wk ago he had part of his colon removed when they found colon cancer. He has a tube down his nose & into his throat. And he can't eat or drink UNTIL he can fart again.

Well, TODAY HE FARTED!!!! We are all so happy. And all the nurses & doctors know he farted too. And they are happy too.

Now hopefully, they will start him on some fluids & then food.

 

[jann1033]

just remembered one,,, winter time,a group of us were with another acquaintance. she was driving her van and had to drop a tire off to get fixed. well evidently she dropped a bomb just as she got to the van to get back in and when she opened the door and got in, she realized the odor followed her and jumped back out and shut the door...to late, the rest of us didn't want to embarrass her but it smelled so bad we were gagging...then she jumps back in, while we are gagging... so she just drove off and acted like it was perfectly normal to have car load of gagging women, never said a word well maybe if she did that often it was

 

[Disney1fan2002]

OMG, the timeliness of this thread is perfect.

My dad is still in the hospital because 1 wk ago he had part of his colon removed when they found colon cancer. He has a tube down his nose & into his throat. And he can't eat or drink UNTIL he can fart again.

Well, TODAY HE FARTED!!!! We are all so happy. And all the nurses & doctors know he farted too. And they are happy too.

Now hopefully, they will start him on some fluids & then food.

YAY to your dad...HE FARTED! WOOHOO!

WTG dad!

 

[lucas]

 

[SplshMtn99]

My dad's fart.

 

[lucas]

My dad's fart.

 

[jann1033]

Yeah. Just when you think it's safe to fart...

i'll tell on my self ...i was outside , in my daughter's garden a few yrs ago,as far as i knew, everyone else was gone for the day and i felt the urge and let it rip...a few moments later out of the barn ( 50 ft away at least, yep it was that loud) comes daughter's father in law with a look of horror on his face, looks at me and just turns around and goes back in the barn...guess he figured ripe horse manure was the lesser of the 2 evils.

 

[Hedy]

OMG, the timeliness of this thread is perfect.

My dad is still in the hospital because 1 wk ago he had part of his colon removed when they found colon cancer. He has a tube down his nose & into his throat. And he can't eat or drink UNTIL he can fart again.

Well, TODAY HE FARTED!!!! We are all so happy. And all the nurses & doctors know he farted too. And they are happy too.

Now hopefully, they will start him on some fluids & then food.

My dad had a kidney removed when I was 12. We were waiting for him to fart then, with true 12 year old tact I thought it was hysterical.

 

[shep]

Just wanted to share this with my fart friends...it is so funny!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3ejlkzDCuc

OMG.. that was great..

 

[suwoogie]

I started reading this thread last night at 8:30. For 25 minutes straight I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. SERIOUSLY. I had to go to bed but as soon as I got here at work I had to continue.

THANK YOU all of you for your hilarious stories that made me laugh so much!!! Keep 'em coming! I, of course, have NO fart stories.

 

[Bust*A*Stitch]

Our new male kitten has earned the name Fart for a reason.

Well payback is well earned.

He was sniffen were he wasn't supposed to be a few weeks ago, and got a face full, he shook his face confused, then he ran off so fast after figuring what it was he did a Wile E Coyote off the bed.

=D