Ok friends...I need help-suggestions

[okeydokey]

Wow, no offense meant to anyone but times have changed.

I'm trying to not be shocked here, but if I spoke out in class to the point that the teacher wrote home, I'd be in some serious trouble. No kid gloves, no namsy-pansy stuff. Nothing about, oh, she's just bored. That would NEVER fly with my parents.

I hope you solve the problem, though.

Me too. My dd went through a talky stage in first grade and we made sure to end it then.

 

[dismom2]

Wow, no offense meant to anyone but times have changed.

I'm trying to not be shocked here, but if I spoke out in class to the point that the teacher wrote home, I'd be in some serious trouble. No kid gloves, no namsy-pansy stuff. Nothing about, oh, she's just bored. That would NEVER fly with my parents.

I hope you solve the problem, though.

Same here.

If this happened to me, besides being disciplined at home, my parents would have focused on teaching me how to be patient, not have anybody cater to my needs. No special treatment for me, no special assignments--it's my problem, and I am the one who needs to make changes. Boredom is something everyone experiences, but you have to learn to deal with it, it's just part of life.

I love Dawns solution--threatening to walk her son from class to class

Good luck...hope it gets better.

 

[Darcy03231]

So how is his self esteem now?

Absolutely fine! In fact we when start discussing childhoold memories that's one that always gets dragged out and laughed over. He ended up really liking that teacher and would always go back to visit her until she retired. The teacher and my mom had a lot of conferences that year. My mom was fine with whatever worked and the refrigerator box worked!

 

[Mommee]

I agree with this. I was the the validictorian of my high school, always one of the top in my class even before that and yet EVERY parent teacher conference all my mom would hear about is how much I talk in class. I hated school until I got to college becuase I was bored out of my mind. The only classes I liked were the ones that all the other kids hated because they were too hard. I had many amazing teachers that helped me find other things to do or even DID give me harder assignments. I remember a particular science test in 10th grade that was so hard and I was really nervous after because normally if I had trouble on a test everyone else did too... I found out later from the teacher she gave me a different test to keep me busy the whole time and was really proud of me for not panicing and doing so well on it. Most of the others weren't this drastic though, in elementary school it was generally just an open invitation to read a book if I'm done with the work I should be doing. In High school it was teachers that looked the other way when I was clearly doing the homework for my other class while listening to them teach and taking notes on the rare occasions I needed to. (this allowed me to get all my homework done before I went home 90% of the time which was great too)

Now one question for you... Is he talking more when they are supposed to be doing something (like the class got a worksheet or should be reading and he is done) or is he actually interrupting the teacher too? The second is a much bigger problem IMO the first is easier to fix.

For times when your done I suggest:
1) Books, even better if they are educational as then the teachers don't get annoyed as easily.
2) Doing work for other classes (this does take a bit of planning to make sure you have the stuff you need for both the hw for another class and stuff you need)

For when the teacher is talking
1) Draw, even if just in the margins of the notes you should be taking.
2) Write notes to friends (to hand out in between classes obviously not in class as teachers don't like this one either)
3) Plan what your going to do this weekend/evening whatever.

I would also recommend seeing if there is anyway he could be in a more advanced class. I really emphasize with him on how awful it is to sit bored for 90 min... espeically if you know there are 1000's of more important/more fun things you could be doing right now. This is why I loved college they took all the dumb busy work out of the classroom. If the teacher was done they just let you leave instead of handing out another worksheet that only takes 5 min and making you sit there for 15 with nothing to do.

Valedictorian?

 

[Tiggeroo]

block scheduling is long for some kids. Perhaps some sort of positive reinforcement. I think the teacher should create a chart for him, or you could send something in to the teacher. Every block where there is improvement she could check off. When he gets thru a day he gets a small reward, if he gets thru a week he gets a trip to the movies or something nice. A month something even better. Also teach him some positive behavior management techniques, such as counting to ten when he is tempted to talk.

 

[quentina]

ooooh...I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the suggestion of sitting quiet for the length of class at home! As far as grounding/taking things away we've tried that. It works temporarily but then I have run out of things to take. My kids don't have a whole lot to take away, but I'm gonna keep on finding things.

I am SO gonna try the sitting quiet suggestion though. 90 mins for block scheduling is a long time to sit completely quiet for a 5th grader I think...but that's a whole new "block scheduling" thread in and of itself.

Thanks for the suggestion!

Instead of grounding....reward. Let him pick the item. For my little guy...who is always in trouble (impulsive behavior), we gave him a 1 week goal and we would go get XXX. He chose a pillow pet and with the teacher being in on it, he got the pillow pet. Now, we do daily.....good choices all day get XXXX. He usually picks a popcicle or something similar. It works 4 out of 5 days...the 5th day, he just can't help himself anymore

 

[Magic Mom]

Blurting is different than being "social". I knew a student like that and he was, to be kind, annoying. He thought every thought that popped in his head was interesting and relevant to everyone. We gave him 3 pennies before each subject block and he was allowed to use those pennies for three questions or responses. After that his mouth was shut. If he had more questions (which was rare because he was bright) he had a note pad to write them down on and they would be answered before the end of the day. I also had a talk with him about having a personal filter. Not every thought needs to be spoken. Sometimes it's better to keep a thought to yourself.

 

[focusondisney]

Valedictorian?

Nice catch!

 

[kamik86]

Valedictorian

Lol yeah and I'll be the first to admit I don't spell well at ALL and that my grammer isn't much better. I also managed to get a 500 something on my language GRE while getting just short of a perfect score on that math one. Graduating first in my class just means I did better then everyone else not that I'm perfect. I just learned to really check over my papers before I turned them in. I have to do the same thing with my reports at work. Spell check is great too.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Blurting is different than being "social". I knew a student like that and he was, to be kind, annoying. He thought every thought that popped in his head was interesting and relevant to everyone. We gave him 3 pennies before each subject block and he was allowed to use those pennies for three questions or responses. After that his mouth was shut. If he had more questions (which was rare because he was bright) he had a note pad to write them down on and they would be answered before the end of the day. I also had a talk with him about having a personal filter. Not every thought needs to be spoken. Sometimes it's better to keep a thought to yourself.

I agree with this.
I am the one who posted the example of this kind if kid, at the very same age, in my son's Karate.

Impulse control, lack of a verbal filter, etc... are very very different things than a child who almost purposefully chooses to be the social class extrovert/clown and/or doesn't quite think that rules on classroom behavior apply to him.

IMHO, a teacher should be able to handle this kind of thing in a proactive way. 'talking to the kid' later in the hall, contacting parents after the fact, etc... are just not going to be effective real-time management in the classroom.

 

[LisaR]

Have you heard this from any of the other teachers? I know you said he had a problem in 4th grade but it was corrected within 2 weeks. Now this teacher is saying it is an issue in most of his other classes but I didn't see you mention that his other teachers have told you that he is a problem.

It does make a difference. He shouldn't blurt out or disrupt any class, however, if he is only doing it in one class, I would say that class/teacher is contributing to the problem (not that your DS doesn't need to take responsibility for his actions). If he is doing this in all of his classes, there may be something else going on like ADD.

 

[threecrazykids]

Blurting is different than being "social". I knew a student like that and he was, to be kind, annoying. He thought every thought that popped in his head was interesting and relevant to everyone. We gave him 3 pennies before each subject block and he was allowed to use those pennies for three questions or responses. After that his mouth was shut. If he had more questions (which was rare because he was bright) he had a note pad to write them down on and they would be answered before the end of the day. I also had a talk with him about having a personal filter. Not every thought needs to be spoken. Sometimes it's better to keep a thought to yourself.

This is something we deal with at home too, he sometimes just talks with no personal filter. I try to point it out to him and let him know when it is and is not appropriate to talk. I know part of me thinks he's super excited about the subject so he wants to add his own knowledge, however there is a time for that, and a time to just sit quietly.

 

[threecrazykids]

Have you heard this from any of the other teachers? I know you said he had a problem in 4th grade but it was corrected within 2 weeks. Now this teacher is saying it is an issue in most of his other classes but I didn't see you mention that his other teachers have told you that he is a problem.

It does make a difference. He shouldn't blurt out or disrupt any class, however, if he is only doing it in one class, I would say that class/teacher is contributing to the problem (not that your DS doesn't need to take responsibility for his actions). If he is doing this in all of his classes, there may be something else going on like ADD.

This is another issue for me...she claims that the teachers have this problem in his other classes, yet no emails at all this year from his 4 other classes. But I will be speaking to his other teachers next week to see if they say he does maybe speak out of turn, however it's not enough to warrant contacting me about it.

As far as the ADD goes, I have asked all of his teachers before if they believe he is demonstrating ADD type behaviors and they all say no, they all agree that it's behavior issues. My older son does have ADD so I am certain I would at least see signs of it at home. So, short of the annoying blurting I don't believe ADD to be the issue.

 

[Aristomommy]

This is another issue for me...she claims that the teachers have this problem in his other classes, yet no emails at all this year from his 4 other classes. But I will be speaking to his other teachers next week to see if they say he does maybe speak out of turn, however it's not enough to warrant contacting me about it.

As far as the ADD goes, I have asked all of his teachers before if they believe he is demonstrating ADD type behaviors and they all say no, they all agree that it's behavior issues. My older son does have ADD so I am certain I would at least see signs of it at home. So, short of the annoying blurting I don't believe ADD to be the issue.

I would absolutely find out from other teachers if this is an issue, and if it is, why aren't they communicating with you?

Beyond that, I would get him tested to see if he indeed has different learning needs. The fact that his 4th grade teachers said he knew all the content, is an indication that he may be an advanced learner. Nothing frustrates me more than a child that has to sit through a class he has already mastered if there is another option.