oh, this is REALLY not good! well, it would be good for most of you...HELP!!

[ShellyMouse]

a little background... 2 1/2 yrs ago, i started getting severe panic attacks. it got to the point i didn't leave my house for 4 months! too afraid of having a panic attack in public) i'm serious, didn't even go to the mailbox. anyway, w/ a program, and some medication, i have come a long way! still on some meds for it,(still get a little anxiety once in a while) but doing great! went to disney last december, and now even have a part time job. believe me, this is HUGE for me from where i was.
ok, and i've flown 1 time in my life. i was 10, and went to the florida keys w/ aunt and uncle. never flew again. terrified! then w/ 9/11 and all....I DON'T FLY!
my dh was stationed in hawaii when in the army. and he always says he wants to take me there someday.....i say "ok, as soon as they build the bridge, i'm there" thats the running joke.

so i called sil (dh's sister in denver) last night, and she says "shelly, i'm so glad you called...we have to talk"....ok she says brian and i are getting married. oooookkkk? (we already knew that) "yeah, i know you are afraid to fly".....and i say "no, i DON'T FLY". she laughs and says you need to talk to your dr about some thing to knock you out, cause we are getting married next march in MAUI!!!! OMG! she doesn't only want me to get on a plane.....she wants me to fly over the ocean....where there are sharks! i ask her what she is trying to do to me! i just got done telling her how good i'm doing w/o panic attacks....and she springs this on me! needless to say my dh and dd are so excited they can barely speak!
ok, i'm laughing now, but freaked at the same time!
so, i get on computer last night, and airfare is like $3500.00 for the 3 of us! is this normal?

sooooo, a couple questions (sorry so long, if you think this is bad try talking to me IRL!! )

*i have no idea how to get deals like you guys do on airfare....help!!??
*will they let a tranquilized woman on a plane? serious! i think they will have to knock me out cold.

and the worst thing of all!!!!! i have been planning our next trip to wdw since jan. for this coming dec.....there is no way we can afford both!
i said to her "why can't you get married at disney?"......she says, i already did that! this is her 2nd marriage. damn!

so, can you help me? i need to find cheaper airfare, and some REALLY good drugs that will last for a 12 hour flight!!

i'm serious though, i really don't know if i can do this. i could even see myself buying the tickets and taking the "chicken exit" at the airport! if you were afraid to fly, tell me what you did, or what i can do to do this.

thanks a TON!!!

i don't wanna go to maui....
i wanna go to WALT DISNEY WORLD!!!!

 

[salmoneous]

My mother suffered from panic attacks - though not quite as bad as you. She had avoided flying, but needed to go on a trip and talked to her doctor. He just had her take an extra large dose of Xanax, which she was already taking at the time. Don't know if it would work for you, but it worked like a charm for Mom. Take to your doctor and see what she thinks.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Several thoughts...
First, seriously consider salmoneous's recommendation.
If you truly won't fly, I think you MAY be able to take a cruise from California to Hawaii - check www.ncl.com - and another one back, but obviously you need to devote a LOT of time to this.
Talk to your SIL, tell her how much you love her and support her, and how happy you are for the two of them, but while you'd love to be at their wedding you really, truly can't go.

 

[safetymom]

I would suggest looking into a fear of flying class. They are very good at easing tensions about flying.

 

[Servants of Evan]

Since I'm a huge fan of flying I won't be much help other than a few points:

1. Have you used guided imagery to help calm you down? My DW isn't a great flyer, but she uses a small tape player or MP3 player with headphones to help her calm down "and go to her happy place." Check out www.imagepaths.com for some of their stuff... We've had a few flight attendants stop by to check that it wasn't a CD player for takeoff and landing (if you buy your imagery on CD rip it to an MP3 beforehand). A quick "She's not a good flyer" told to the attendant and they'll usually cut them a significant amount of slack. They want you calm and happy as much as the rest of the cabin You've got around 10 hours in the air so before you go medicating yourself, do a test run with your family around. If you're thinking about a sedative, make certain you can actually function after the 9 hour mark!

2. Have you priced out flights leaving from Chicago? I haven't done this but I know I can get Cleveland to Honolulu (via Houston) for under $800 easily -- and often I can get flights for significantly less. If you think you can make the flight, I'd look into flying Chicago direct to Honolulu - usually a big Boeing 747 with room to move, then take a Hawaiian or Aloha flight to Maui on a smaller Boeing 737. Yes, I know it's one more flight you have to go through but the cost savings can be significant.

To me, Maui is one of the most beautiful places on earth and it would be a shame not to experience it at least once in your life.

 

[solotraveler]

Hi Shelly!

With regards to airfare, you just have to keep looking. You are probably too far in advance to lock down a deal for next March at this point.

For your fear of flying, I would recommend looking into some type of medication, e.g. Xanax, but only your doctor will know if that could work for you and whether that might be a bad mix with your current meds. A fear of flying class coule help greatly as well. I think www.fearofflyinghelp.com is a fantastic resource.

Lastly, since you are local, I do know a psychologist who has had great success with fear of flying patients in West Michigan. He uses mental imaging techniques and desensitization techniques that build toward a flight. PM me if you might be interested in his info. (No financial intrest here on my part, he just worked with a coworker of mine and she had great results.)

Hope this helps!
Solotraveler

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

Check out www.imagepaths.com for some of their stuff...

Link goes to a page with phone number and address but no more information.
Do they have a catalog?

 

[Servants of Evan]

Whoops. the company you want is Health Journeys which happens to be owned by Image Paths. I now remember something about this with my wife's order -- we had ordered a few items and didn't see it on our credit card bill. We did see the identical amount processed for Image Paths so she made a quick call and got the answer. Try http://www.healthjourneys.com/ instead. Sorry!

 

[PattiPB]

I have no advice, but wanted to offer good luck and support in the hopes you'll attempt this trip!

My feeling on trips of this type is always the same, whether I'm concerned about money or timing or just plain don't want to go: I'd rather go for a wedding than a funeral. It's better to carry flowers up the aisle than lay them on a coffin.

I hope I'm not being too morbid! Try to get some help---it sounds like it's worth the effort to be there for your sister.

 

[bavaria]

Well, the good news is that you have a lot of time to prepare. You've made some very big steps by the sounds of it, and have a wonderful goal to work towards.

I would definitely speak with your doctor in regards to recommendations that some people have posted here (probably a combination of medication and education) Belive it or not, knowing what all the sounds and bumps and noises are on a flight do usually help to calm you down and reassure you that things are normal.

If it makes you feel better, some of us very frequent fliers are still nervous fliers, but have been able to use some of the tools already noted to get through the flight. (I am very claustrophic, and I believe that ducklite is too, but I manage to fly every other week long distances now)

Sign up for an airfare 'watcher' like Travelocity's farewatcher, so that you can monitor changes in airfare - this will help you to get a feel for a 'good' price for yoru flights.

Congratulations on all that you have achieved so far, and best wishes for future successes!!

 

[ShellyMouse]

i really appriciate your words of advice and encouragement so much!

i really want to do this!
i know i can, i know i can, i know i can!

solotraveler, i signed up for the fear of flying online workshop. i'm starting lesson 2 today. i may pm you for that drs. name. thanks!

i am taking paxil and xanax now, so maybe my dr would have me take a bigger dose of xanax on plane.

i did check into other routes for flights. i found chicago to honolulu via pheonix to be mid $800s per person. (then a flight from honolulu to maui is around $100...35 minutes) so i will just keep checking. also, my dh said there are non-stop flights from chicago to honolulu, he thinks that would be much better for me, even if we have to pay a little more.

my dh would like to arrive in honolulu 2-3 days before we need to be in maui to show dd and i where he was stationed while in army, show us wakiki (sp?)beach, just show us around. that would be cool! i really am looking forward to HAWAII!! and i am going to try my hardest to be a big brave girl on the plane!

and the best news....dh says not to cancel wdw ressies yet! he may dip into his trust fund for his sisters wedding trip, so we could do both!!

if anyone esle has any advice, feel free to post.

and again, thanks a ton for your help!!

DIS PLACE RULES!!

 

[bavaria]

Glad that you started a course! When I hit turbulence (not that often) I often think of that episode of Cheers where Frasier taught a 'fear of flying' course. He told his students to think of Clear Air Turbulence as a kitty cat.

They took a test flight, hit CAT, and all of them starting 'miaowing' like crazy... that thought always pops into my head when it gets a little bumpy!

 

[debster812]

Glad that you started a course! When I hit turbulence (not that often) I often think of that episode of Cheers where Frasier taught a 'fear of flying' course. He told his students to think of Clear Air Turbulence as a kitty cat.

They took a test flight, hit CAT, and all of them starting 'miaowing' like crazy... that thought always pops into my head when it gets a little bumpy!

That's one of my favorites.

DS and I had a VERY bumpy flight 2 weeks ago from JFK-BOS. DS was in his seat, arms over his head, saying "woo-hoo". (He's 9). I was decidedly less enthusiastic. The pilot did come on and told us that it's just turbulence, and it would take longer to climb up and over it, than to keep going. So he kept going.

To the OP--sounds like you are taking all the 'right' steps, and I wish you nothing but the best, this sounds like an AWESOME opportunity for your family and you.

 

[bavaria]

Fear of flying Here's a website you may want to browse as well

 

[Gramto3]

ShellyMouse ~ I have the same anxiety problem also. Whenever I am going to travel I am usually sick (tummy problems) the two weeks before and it continues until I get there. My doctor prescribed Ativan (it also is prescribed for motion sickness) which takes the edge off of the fear without making me feel drugged.

I get this type of anxiety even when I am only going out of town 30-50 miles and also traveling in the dark. It really stinks.

Good luck.

 

[mlwear]

Do you see a psychiatrist for medication management? No need to answer. But, I know some people see GP's for anxiety and while it can help (I don't want to upset any GP's here), with my only personal struggles I have found psychiatrists (some not all!) are better educated with regard to medications and combinations of medications that can help. I wouldn't wait until the last minute though as so often it seems to be an experiment to see what works best for you.

This will sound a little kooky. Years ago I say a psychologist who also did hypnosis. I have one major phobia that absolutely paralyzes me. He did not do a full-blown hypnosis with me, but an unusual technique involving rapid eye movements while you are thinking about the trauma (there is some reason you are afraid to fly). It did not make my phobia go away, I still have it--I'm not really willing to work on getting rid of it, but I was able to function again immediately. It was really strange. I lived in Oklahoma at the time and he told me that many psychologists were called to the site of the Federal buidling explosion in 1996 and he used it there, too. Since then, I have been inclined to think that someone with legitimate credentials that can perform hypnosis, would be worth a try.

Good luck and best wishes.

 

[lynr]

ShellyMouse:

I am sitting her with tears in my eyes. I too have suffered with panic attacks actually I have panic disorder. It has been 13 years since I started treatment for it, and I have to tell you how thankful I am that I took that first step. It is so freeing to be able to go out with friends or go on vacation without fear. People really don't understand how debilitating this disease is unless they experience it themselves.

When I fly my doctor gives me Xanax to take. I would talk to your doctor and tell him about your fear of flying and see what he thinks. Just think about how good you will feel about yourself when you make this trip.

Have a great time.