Oh My Gosh!

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

Hi Everyone
I have waited for a long time to post on this board. Even now, I'm afraid I might jinx it all...but after a conversation that my long term BF and I had tonight...I am allowing myself to do the happy dance

A little background...
BF and I have been together almost 7 years. We met at work and it has been a whirlwind ever since. He is my first phone call when something good happens...or when something bad happens...or just cause. We've been thru good times...and bad...and the challenges...All have been worth it.

So, why no ring yet?
Easy, either I was ready and he wasn't. Or he was ready I and wasn't. OR like it is now...I'm finishing up school and b/c I am getting an AMAZING discount b/c my mom works at the college-if I get married I would loose the benefit, and that would be a $50,000 hit to us financially.

So, why post today?
I have to start by saying that (as stated above) we worked together and about 6-7 months ago, he left the company. He was in management and I was not. So, we kept out relationship quiet. It was easier that way. Anyway, since he no longer works there-the word is out. There are some people, as that are in all work places that are just nosy. Every now and then someone will ask, "So are you two going to get married or what?" When I explain the financial hit we would take they all understand. I in turn, go to BF and tell him about the encounter and laugh it off. So, today was one of those days. We started talking about last names and stuff. His last name ends with a Y and my first name ends with an IE...it just doesn't sound right. So, he goes on telling me that I should have thought about that a long time ago. Um, ok...and I reply with as much. I go on to tell him what this co-worker said and he bounces back with "Just tell him we can't b/c of school." So, b/c I'm in a smart @#$ mood, I reply "Just b/c the rules are that I can't get married, it doesn't mean I can't have a long engagement." To which he replies, "but my bank account can't afford a long engagement." To this I laugh-but he isn't done and continues with "Besides, we're just going to go to NYC and then to Tiffany's so you can pick out your ring." UHH UMM...So, I ask if we can start at the diamond district b/c a Tiffany ring is a bit expensive. He replies with no and then goes on to tell me I am the only woman that would complain about getting a ring from Tiffany...NO I LIKE LITTLE BLUE BOXES...BUT I DON'T NEED HIM TO SELL A KIDNEY B/C HE WANTS TO MARRY ME. To this he whips around and says "Do you think you are the only one in this relationship that plans ahead?" and walks into the computer room, pulls up the Tiffany site and continues to show me what he was thinking. I was giddy and floored! Of course... as he planned we disagreed on settings. He showed me the ring he wants and then had to go to work. Leaving me speechless.

So, I bit the bullet and thought I would start jotting things here are there on here. Petals & Pixie Dust will be our theme. I have the rest in a notebook, that I hide in my car. (Wasn't there a thread about us secret planners???) I'm trying not to get excited...really trying not to get excited. BUT I HAVE TO TELL SOMEONE...I called my mom, but I'm not done with the excitement yet!

Thanks for listening. I look forward to the day that I can plan this amazing day in real time. For now, I will enjoy sitting back and reading your posts.

 

[sunsh1ne]

yey for you !!!
petals and pixie dust sounds beautiful.
like lots of sparkly flowers well thats what i see hehe.

cant wait to hear more

 

[MariaLovesJon<3]

Awww! I'm so *excited* for you! Your theme sounds awesome!

Can't wait to hear more!

 

[OceanGdss]

Awww...so excited!! I was a secret planner before he finally proposed It was all well worth the wait! (Not to mention the look on his face when I ordered my dress within 4 weeks of us being engaged...hey..I had a plan! lol)

Early congrats and I can't wait to start seeing your plans!

 

[BaBeeCee14]

I love your theme, its adorable! Can't wait to hear more about your plans!

 

[BayouPrincess]

Sounds like fun. I can't wait to hear more. Happy Planning!

 

[DisneyFairy19]

Welcome Aboard

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

Hi Everyone!
Thanks for the kind words. I'm still on ...It's nice to know that BF & I are on the same page. We will definately be having a DFTW. 8-10 people guest list...but probably won't be until 2010

There is a reason for this. I told him I wanted to be married in 2010 so that he would never forget how long we've been married (2011 =1 year 2012=2 years) When I told him this tho he said I should give him a little more credit then that. Then walked away, turned around and said "I probably don't deserve it." Silly boy!

Here is my dilemma. (FLAME SUIT ON) I DON'T WANT A TIFFANY ENGAGEMENT RING...I told him last night, I would be perfectly happy with a diamond district ring and a Tiffany band. He wants classic Tiffany all the way. Engagement ring and band...but I don't like them. I work in a hospital setting and the Classic Tiffany Setting sits really high and will catch on gloves and patients. Plus, the price is a little crazy. Don't get me wrong-I love little blue boxes! But their engagement settings are limited. Shouldn't I have a ring that I will love for a lifetime? I don't want one ring now and another ring later b/c I found a setting I have to have. For instance, my mothers original ring is a 1.45 ct. It is beautiful...but now sits on my dads pinkie. (and no I can't get him to give it up) When they were married for 25 years, she got a 2 ct diamond. I think I'd be saving him money by wanting one ring. He is dead set on this Tiffany setting thing.

Am I crazy-b/c I sure feel like it. I'd be happy with just a ring. Something to say I'm his and no one else's. I love the thought of being able to say that my ring is from T&CO...but I guess I see this from a more practical stand point. The one ring I saw at T&CO, with band came to $13,000!!!

How do I get him to see that even though T&CO is wonderful, we can come to a compromise and it all be good? I feel like I am complaining for all the wrong reasons. I want a ring that I am going to love forever. I want it to take my breath away each time I look at it. I want a quality diamond for a decent price and not to pay for the name. I don't want us to go in debt to pay for a diamond.

Any thoughts? Please don't be too tough on me. We have all the details planned (for the most part) I feel stupid enough fighting over where to buy a diamond from. Thanks

 

[OceanGdss]

I agree with you. You should have the ring you want whether its $30,000 or $30. It isn't the price or the color of the box that matters, its what it means to you. He probably wants to treat you like a princess and thats why he is insisting on the Tiffany ring. But maybe if he realized all the things you could do with the extra $12,000 or so, he would change his mind. Tell him to take you on a few fantastic trips, or to let you use some of the money for a perfect wedding gown. Either way...I agree with you. Go with your heart.

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

OK so now I know I'm not crazy...but how to do I plant it in his head that I'm right and he doesn't need to sell a kidney???

My mom always said the way to get a man to do something was to make it his idea...I'm not sure how to do that this time. Usually I'm pretty good at it...This has me stumped!

 

[Kristen14]

Go to bluenile.com. That's where I got my ring, its amazing! You can play around with the 4 C's and find something that you like, then you can compare costs. They have dozens of setings... I have a low setting too (called the Trellis setting on bluenile).

I totally agree with you about the T&Co rings. My friend WORKS at T&Co and didnt buy her e-ring from there!! That should tell you that you're not the only one who feels that way.

Actually, the quality of diamond that you'd get for 13k at T&Co is considerably less quality than you can get on bluenile for half the price. Tell your future fiance that you want a quality diamond for a reasonable price, not just lesser quality diamond with a brand name! You could probably pay for your entire escape wedding with the money you save!!

Good luck, and let us all know when the engagement officially happens!

 

[lpizzuro123]

First of all welcome to these boards and happy planning.

As far as a ring goes, my DF and I were to the city yesterday and saw the Christmas Show at Radio City and then walk on 47th street looking at settings. A little different from you but we are going to use my mom's diamond and put it in a new setting. She passed away a few years ago and I think this would make it really special to use her diamond. I am an only child and right now her ring is sitting in a safe deposit box. I think it would be great to use this as part of my ring and wedding rather then just sitting there.

I think you should go to the city and take a stroll on 47th street and just take a look. Maybe once your boyfriend sees all that is out there, he will not be so set on Tiffany. I also am not crazy about Tiffany settings. I am looking at Tacori or Tacori style. These are alittle bit antique looking. I guess you are familar with 47th Street but just make sure who you go to. We were starting to go into overload yesterday but we got some really good ideas on styles on pricing. Some of the stores seem very high class and some of them seem to be as I have heard before "the Walmart of Diamonds" nothing against Walmart but you really have to be careful and make sure who you are buying your stone and setting from.

Please keep posting and let us know what happens.

Linda

 

[lpizzuro123]

About your mom saying to make him think it is his idea - I completely agree. Not that you are tricking him into it. My example, I really wanted the colors red and white for our wedding - this past summer all the flowers I planted on our deck and infront of our house were red and white. When the middle of the summer came, and everything was in full bloom he said that he really love the way it looked. I just wanted him to see how great it looked together, I took some pictures of the flowers and we are using this as our inspiration for our wedding.

Maybe if you try some rings on that are not Tiffany he will see how beautiful they are and go that way.

Good luck.
Liknda

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

Thank you thank you thank you....Like I said, I'm glad to see I'm not being a pain in the bum. I really want something I am going to love.
I've tried to get my dad to give up my mom's first diamond. It isn't working Hers is a 1ct and is beautiful. My mom told him if she got an eternity band, she would give him her 2ct and I would get the 1ct. I was totally cool with that...but then she said she couldnt find the ring she wanted *pout* at least she tried.
Then my dad piped in with "You need your own diamond. Not one that has been passed down." When I told him that is why it was special to me-he didnt get it...MEN!

Anywho, here is my game plan. I'm going to let the story go-for now anyway. I think part of the T&CO thing is that HIS family is very "whats in a name" if you get what I am saying. It's all about name brand...which is fine, but this is a little over the top (strange, I'm the one that is usually over the top with stuff....looks like the shoe is on the other foot )
Next time I get to a T&CO (probably March) I'll go in try stuff on and tell him how much I really didn't like what they had, and why. My reasons will be practical. For example, the classic T&CO is VERY thin. I am a rough and tumble kind of girl...I need a ring with a little umf. I'll take pictures. I'll call him from the store and say "This sucks" and again tell him why...maybe b/c the setting is too high (it will hurt patients and ripe gloves-from a safety stand point that isn't too smart-He'll appreciate that)

I can compromise the T&CO thing if he really has his heart set on it. BUT it has to be the setting that I am going to enjoy...Not just b/c he proposed with it...but b/c I want it. I guess I should feel flattered that he would want to dish out that kind of $$$. Or that he cares so much that I should only have what he sees as the best. You know and I know there are beautiful diamonds out there that don't have the T&CO name...He sees little blue boxes and thinks he is the master of the universe and the best guy in the world...In my world he already is...I don't need a little blue box to remind me...


I will keep you posted on what happens...Thank you all!!

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

Ok, so it's Xmas...We open gifts...and I mention that there is a ring at T&CO that I want (not an e-ring) So, we go looking...and we start talking about the engagement thing. I tell him how much I don't like the classic T&CO ring...So, we start looking at the others...In short, he agreed to go and look, but he only wants to get a T&CO ring. I think for right now that is a good compromise. I am going to NC in March and will go and take a look at one of their smaller stores.
Then he says, "I should just go and by the ring and say-here ya go. Like they did in the old days." I told him I appreciate him allowing me to put my 2 cents in...
I got enough $$$ to get the tiara that I want (Swarvoski may be retiring it at the beginning of Jan) SO, I told him I had enough $ for either the ring at T&CO that I want or the tiara...but since the tiara is due to retire that might be my first option. He asked what do I need a tiara for. I gave him the look and said "Duh, what have we been talking about for the past 2 hours?!?" Then I asked him if it bothers him that I want to pick up things here and there to cut down on what we will be paying when all of this comes about...He said no...that this is inevitable and we both know it...It's just a matter of having the money to do so.
SO, I guess I should start my planning journal huh???

 

[ilovefh]

Congrats! I too just found out that DBF is planning on proposing! We're using my grandmothers diamond and he got so overwhelmed picking a setting he asked for my help! I agree with you on T&Co.! No you're not crazy! I think with the jeweler we go through my ring, and the two bands will coime to about 500. Can't hate that! And it's good quality!

If he is letting you help pick a ring out, you need to be able to pick out something you like. Plus if the stting is high and won't do well in your line of work that is VERY important too!

Good luck planning everything! In writing this I just realized that I should start some planning, because we're talking to the jeweler and I think we want to be married in 2008!

 

[caryndisneydiva]

i'm chiming in late on the tiffany issue... i LOVE that place. LOVE LOVE LOVE it...so we went there when we bought my ring and i was appalled at the prices. i'm sorry, they are ridiculous. we went to bailey banks & biddle, i got the same ring (size and everything) with a better color rating for literally half the price. i have a traditional "tiffany" setting (6 prong cathedral, round brilliant solitaire) and everyone mistakes it for a tiffany ring. since i chose to buy my ring elsewhere, i got to get a more expensive wedding band which i NEVER would have been able to get at t&co since it's canaries...

my point-tiffany's is great (i even named my cat after that store) but in the real world, do we REALLY need to pay twice the price because it says t&co on the band? i think not...

that's my two cents...

 

[Rora]

Aww congrats!! Keep us posted!

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

It's been a couple of days...but things don't seem to stop RE: this whole ring thing.
I am officially a proud owner of a Swarovski tiara-which I am in love with The woman at the store was wonderful. She has watched me lust after this thing for months! And was so happy that I got it! And when I handed her my Disney Visa...She said, well, at least I got 4 Disney points out of it. (Yes I spent TOO much on a headpiece...but BF said I could! and when I looked at ebay he asked what I was doing...What ever.)
So, after this I went to a jewelry store and asked this little old woman if I could see a classic tiffany setting. She showed me one in platinum 1ct and I fell in love (again for the second time in less than 30 minutes!) I asked to see a channel set band...and again went gaga over the thing. Ok this just wasn't supposed to happen. HOWEVER, I explained to this woman that T&Co has a sharp edge...She explained it is a jack knife cut, can be uncomfortable and is a thin band. She showed me one and even though I wasn't in love...it still looked fabulous. So, here I sit...Now what do I do
Could I be happy with it? Hmmm...
So, I ask to see some different size diamonds. I kept going back to the 1ct. It was "practically perfect in every way." I decide to leave before I even consider telling BF he might be right. It did look great.
So, I spend sometime thinking...I could handle the setting...as long as it is 1 ct. It's just the right size...So, I hold onto this piece of information.

Yesterday, he was working with a friend of ours and I called him to say good morning (a silly tradition of ours) and they are laughing in the background. I ask what is going on and he mentions that he is talking to Brain about the wedding. Ummm ok.. So, I'm a little nervous about this b/c Brian's thoughts on marriage are not to by the cow if you are getting the milk for free.
When I get home I ask BF what their conversation was all about. He tells me that he told me already. So, I counter the whole thing with "yeah but Brian's thoughts on marriage is not to by the cow if you get the milk for free" BF laughs and says he mentioned this. I told him that if Brian changed his mind for any reason I would get my revenge (I was a little more colorful-but insert your own details and I am sure it will be just as appropriate)
Finally, I break down and tell BF that I had looked that the rings the other day and that I was ok with the Tiffany setting. Still not ok with the price. BUT still wanted to see if they had anything at the store that wasn't so sharp.
BF replies that my finger will get used to it. So, ok he's stuck on the T&Co thing. I'm not going to change his mind..So, I might as well see what I can do about the size of the diamond that I want. So, I tell him that I really really really liked the 1ct. He says 1/2-3/4ct. Nope, I really like the 1ct. This gets bounced back and forth pretty much all night. I explained that I don't want to upgrade my ring every couple of years and to see this as I am saving him money in the long run. By the end of the night, he's convinced he is going to spend a ton of money...but he doesn't seem to be flinching at it. When we looked at the ring he wants to get next to the band I want...It really is pretty.
So, I ask where his first wife's ring was from he said Kay's. I giggled...not that I meant to...but that's quite a jump to go from Kay's to T&Co...I nearly died b/c he said that was her last name-it only seemed right to get the ring from there. Boys will be boys I guess.
The rest of the night was spent looking for a ring for him. He had some questions he wanted to ask T&Co, so I spent sometime on the phone with them today...but OMG! He's really serious about this. He's the type of person that when he wants something he researches it to the hilt...and that is what he is doing with this. I never thought we would get this far.

We're still going with the plan to look at this in NC while I am there in March..but it seems like the engagement part is headed in the right direction. And it only took us 7 years to get there!!! *LOL*

I'll keep you all posted. This seems to be the fun part. We found his old wedding band last night b/c we wanted to look at sizes-and it go stuck on his knuckle-on his right hand *LOL* a little cold water and we were ok...but funny!

This whole things is so strange...but I'm loving every minute of it! Thanks for letting me share-I know this is long...but it's been so great!