Oh me, oh my-does baby Suri really exist???update now aka "The Suri Challenge"

[ChristmasElf]

Dearest and trusting SueM......

i think this is how it went down.........
Katie was whooed onto a "date" severely drugged and artificially inseminated with L.Ron Hubbards frozen sperm. She was then absolutely brainwashed into insanity and told she was carrying the next coming of L.Ron....and of course, when you are an idiot and then you end up pregnant you will believe this because how else could this happen to you? Remember she is being brainwashed by the best here....for God's sake they brainwashed the government into thinking they are a religion. Right? At this point I think she is just happy she is still allowed to breathe. Because we know she is not allowed to think.

CathrynRose.......I realize alot of that article was tongue in cheek (Mork and mindy etc ) but did her really say the $$$ remark about the babies forhead?????? I wouldn't put it past him.

I think that someone was pregnant but it was never Katie. Tom's original plan was to get heavily involved with SOMEONE (Of the female persuasian) in an effort to make people think he wasn't gay.
He also needed to have a biological child of his own just to reaffirm the gayness theory was wrong. He finds a SURIgate mother who promises Tom Cruise he can have the child when it is born.
And so begins the furniture abuse,the Paris press conferences,and the fake pregnancy story. He talks Katie into the charade with the fake promises of super stardom and whatever else he can get her to believe.

The wrinkle comes when the SURIgate either decides to keep said baby or the child is a boy, or stillborn, or some other alien planet calls the mother ship home and she gets swept away to the volcanoes of Hawaii.
So now the hunt is on for another baby. In the meantime, we will hear very little from the Cruise compound as there are no new movies coming out and nothing to announce.

As much as I don't care for Tom Cruise as his acting is awful IMO, this thread has provided more entertainment than any of his movies.

 

[Nancy]

As much as I don't care for Tom Cruise as his acting is awful IMO, this thread has provided more entertainment than any of his movies.

I so agree with you, I haven't seen a Tom Cruise movie in years and years, I can't stand his acting (it was maybe Top Gun or Cocktail, whic one was first?)


My DH likes his movies and when he watched War of the Worlds he made a comment on how Tom's character was acting really nuts and then he said "well, maybe he wasn't acting!"

 

[FSUGrad97]

What is really scarey is I have never seen or heard of that movie! - I was just making an educated guess based on what I have read about the wack-a-mole and his cult. I am going to have to go rent that movie now. Who is in it?

Ya know - since these wackos think that celebrities are gods based on their wealth.....would you put it past them to do things for their "religion" they lifted from scripts?

From Movie Pooper http://www.moviepooper.com/

Rosemary's Baby

Rosemary (Mia Farrow) has her baby. The baby's father is Satan. Her husband (John Cassavetes) has allowed Satan to impregnate her in return for success as an actor. Dr. Sapirstein (Ralph Bellamy) and pretty much everyone else in the movie are Satan worshipers.

It is a creepy movie, just like the freak show that is TomKat!

 

[Daxx]

Rosemary (Mia Farrow) has her baby. The baby's father is Satan. Her husband (John Cassavetes) has allowed Satan to impregnate her in return for success as an actor. Dr. Sapirstein (Ralph Bellamy) and pretty much everyone else in the movie are Satan worshipers.

Bolding is mine ... but this just wreaks of what's going on w/TomKat, doesn't it?!

 

[Beth76]

Maybe we should all write a screenplay following this exact story. TC couldn't sue us for defamation because then he would have to admit it's true!

 

[rhanditresmom]

Maybe we should all write a screenplay following this exact story. TC couldn't sue us for defamation because then he would have to admit it's true!

Do it...do it!!!

 

[HomeSweetDisney]

Man, I was gone for 4 days and I missed a lot! Gotta go catch up on my favorite thread

 

[ChristmasElf]

I am a little surprised Katies parents are stayilng out of the media spotlight and not fighting to get their daughter out from under Cruises thumb. Maybe Tom has paid them off too.

 

[floridaminnie]

I am a little surprised Katies parents are stayilng out of the media spotlight and not fighting to get their daughter out from under Cruises thumb. Maybe Tom has paid them off too.

Or maybe they are staying quiet b/c they are hoping it'll help to see Katie and the "baby"?

 

[Deb & Bill]

Maybe they have already hired someone to kidnap her away from it all and deprogram her. My prayers are with the Holmes family.

 

[WonderfulDreamer2]

I had no computer for a week. My eyes are crossing reading all of this, but this thread has been the best one on the DIS in a great, long while. Keep the thoughts coming. I'm loving this.

 

[Imzadi]

From Movie Pooper http://www.moviepooper.com/

Rosemary's Baby

Rosemary (Mia Farrow) has her baby. The baby's father is Satan. Her husband (John Cassavetes) has allowed Satan to impregnate her in return for success as an actor. Dr. Sapirstein (Ralph Bellamy) and pretty much everyone else in the movie are Satan worshipers.

It is a creepy movie, just like the freak show that is TomKat!

Okay, here's the synopsis:

TomKat's Baby

Kate (Katie/Kate Holmes) has agreed to pretend to have A baby. The baby's father is L. Ron Hubbard. Her husband (Tom Cruise) has allowed L. Ron Hubbard to impregnate her in return for success as an actor and to jump on Oprah's couch. Leah Remini, and pretty much everyone who has claimed to see the baby in the movie are Scientology worshipers. Everyone else has been threatened with a $3Million dollar lawsuit if they break a signed confidentiality agreement.

 

[mjallyn]

I have been lurking here for awhile (man if you miss a day plan to spend an hour or two catching up!) and just wanted to thank you all for keeping the spitit alive. What creative and amusing theories. I bet Tom is wishing some of you scripted this tangled web for him.

If I don't see this thread as a sitcom in the next 2 years I'll produce a fake baby for all of you!

 

[my4kids]

Maybe we should all write a screenplay following this exact story. TC couldn't sue us for defamation because then he would have to admit it's true!

Ok ! Great idea! and it will pass the time until we get to see the Tomcat train wreck when it all comes to end.

I'm not feeling overly creative and I'm tired....anyone care to start us off? Maybe it should be in novel format so that we don't have to put in stage directions like "enter wacko stage left to jump on couch"

Chapter 1 - An Actors Desent into Madness

or

Chapter 1 - The Luring of the Prey

anyone want to get us started?

 

[Beth76]

anyone want to get us started?

This will have to be a project for Tuesday I think!

 

[Poohbear123]

I so agree with you, I haven't seen a Tom Cruise movie in years and years, I can't stand his acting (it was maybe Top Gun or Cocktail, whic one was first?)


My DH likes his movies and when he watched War of the Worlds he made a comment on how Tom's character was acting really nuts and then he said "well, maybe he wasn't acting!"

I don't think he was either! Acting that is. He has never been up for an Oscar has he?

 

[luvmyfam444]

OH MY GOSH! I can't believe I have sat here tonight & read 30+ pages of this thread! I"M SO HOOKED! I had other stuff to do online & haven't left this thread & I've got what 40 more pages to read! EEEK!! My eyes are killing me tonight - I don't guess I'll ever catch up!

BUT it sure has been fun trying!

 

[luvmyfam444]

Yes, they are members.

Tom's name is SurisRealImNotGay

Katie's is AWackoHasMeCaptive

OH MY GOSH NOW that's HILARIOUS That was worth staying up to 1 a.m. (when baby gets up @ 5a.m.)for!! THANKS!

 

[floridaminnie]

In War of the worlds, do he try to get on the mother ship to go back home? Or did Spielburg have to repeat over and over again "Tom please just follow the script".

 

[Kristi1357]

I saw this on AOL and didn't see it posted here (pls. forgive me if it was posted and I missed it):

Sean Preston Chats With Suri
Vacation is all she ever wanted; Vacation, she had to get away... but Liz will be back next week. For now, tune into an exciting episode of “Great Moments in Celebaby Wiretaps.”

Thanks to a fortuitous combination of NSA wiretapping and well-timed leaks (thanks Karl!), we were able to get our hands on a transcript of a recent IM chat between Sean Preston Spears-Federline and Suri the Pseudo-Baby.

Sean Preston: Yo Suri! Wazzup?

Suri: Sean! I'm just chillin' and trying to clear my latest engrams (painful memories). My daddy was dancing around in his underwear and screaming “You're dangerous, Maverick!” into the mirror. Mommy then mistakenly yelled, “Be quiet Dawson!” and it went downhill from there.

Sean Preston: At least your dad is in his underwear. My folks walk around the house naked and make up raps like:
We're country y'all, and we've hit the wall;
Cuz we got no chance, to make people dance;
But we don't care, so we walk around bare

It will all be good for some intensive psychotherapy later. Oops, sorry Suri, I'm not supposed to use the p-word around you.

Suri: That's O.K. I've already arranged for a team of psychiatrists to help me whenever I get out of this place.

Sean Preston: My mommy used to really be into Kabbalah until she stopped practicing it because it was too hard to spell. That's when Aunt Madonna stopped visiting. I miss her but sometimes it hurt when she held me. Mommy then decided to make me her religion which ain't too bad except when she writes poetry about it.

Suri: That's some crazy [poop]. Luckily my mommy and daddy don't have many friends except some lady from Saved by the Bell.

Sean Preston: My daddy has way too many friends and they never leave. But now we have the Manny who runs a tight ship. When are you going to make your debut anyway?

Suri: I don't know. My dad doesn't want me to face the press. He says they just make stuff up like you're gay, or an alien, or washed up.

Sean Preston: No dog, you got it all wrong. You gotta get your face on all the mags. We're people who need People. The pavarottis will love you!

Suri: I know. I've been practicing my cute faces for the photographers.

Sean Preston: No! Cute doesn't sell... at least not for long. It needs to be dangerous. And you gotta do it now. You'll be old and washed up next month. Here are my tips for staying in the headlines. Don't you dare let Infangelina see this. She doesn't need any more help in keeping us from the headlines.


1. Squirm around photographers especially when Mommy has her hands full.

2. Always refuse to be restrained.

3. Never misbehave unless the photogs are there.

4. Don't complain when Mommy dresses you like a gangsta. That's front page news, baby and maybe even gets you a mention on Letterman.

5. Manny good; Nanny bad.

6. Stay away from Blanket. He's just freaky.


Suri: Thanks, Sean. As soon as we get the rights fees worked out for the photos, I'll make my big debut.

Sean Preston: Oh no! It's too late. You should have negotiated the fees during the labor. They'll agree to anything then.

Suri: I tried but my attorney was out of town. Daddy is asking for $5 million for a new statue honoring Operating Thetans but Mommy wants to use the money to build a big rowboat that'll take her back to Dawson's Creek. She calls it her “happy place”. I'm just hoping to get enough to pay for the lawyers to emancipate me.

Sean Preston: Oh, it's not so bad being a celebaby. It'll be over before you know it. And one day, when you're talking to your shrink or parole officer, you'll actually look back and miss that magical time when you were the hottest poop in town.

Suri: Thanks, man. I'd better get back to my crib. I think Daddy's home. I just heard him jump on the couch.

Sean Preston: Yeah, I'd better go and remix Daddy's latest single. He's got no ear for music. Later, shorty.

Suri: Later, babe.