Offered to take a friend... now can't afford it

[williamson_ja]

Back in November, we offered to take my neice with us on our next WDW trip (scheduled for Sept. 2010). This is my dd best friend and they wanted to celebrate their 16th birthday together at WDW. At the time, jobs were going really well and the money situation looked really good for a return trip.

Fast forward to now my dh job has cut his hours almost in 1/2 and the money is really tight. We really just can't afford to pay an extra $1000 to take dn now. What should we do? It costs us an extra $740 for her tickets and a bigger room to fit her, plus the airfare. I don't want her to feel like we don't love her, but this is more than we can afford right now. I just don't know what to do. we don't go into debt for trips, so a credit card is out of the questions. Anyone have some helpful advice?

This is really hard because her family is really poor and she would never get this opportunity with them. uggh.

 

[missenmickey]

So sorry to hear about your situation. It is scary how fast your finances can change in this economy. Would your niece's family be willing to pay a portion to help defray the cost to you? September is still a few months away to save. Would your DD and her best friend be willing to get a job this summer to also help pay towards the trip. If they are 16 they would both be old enough to babysit or get a part time job. Good luck to you and your family.

 

[4forWDW]

I understand how things can change - I had to take a paycut (but not hours worked) last year for appx 7 mos.
Could you explain to your DN & DD about the financial situation and see if they could help with the expenses by babysitting, dogwalking, housesitting, housecleaning etc? Maybe between the two of them, and with working more during the summer they could come up with the money.
HTH

 

[twinklebug]

Kids are pretty mature at 16 yo. I think by explaining the situation to her you'll show her respect and give her a better understanding that even folks who are "better off" may have a hard time making ends meet when the world of employment doesn't cooperate. Lay it all on the table and look at the options. Teens really do appreciate being treated as adults.

I'm going to agree with missinmickey here - at 16 years old the two girls should come up with a game plan to cover your niece's portion of the expenses. They can scoop icecream, pack bags at the grocery store, even set up a walk & wash dog business. If they choose to accept the challenge of raising the money, work with them so they fully understand the financial goals and how they're progressing. This could be a great teaching tool!

ETA: although a great many folk believe postponing the trip would be for the best, I'm going to against the grain and disagree. Others are concerned about the other child's feelings - and I fully understand - but when did it become not okay to look out for our families first? You want to take a vacation with your children and share a Disney trip with them while they're still children and I see nothing wrong with that. What if finances are worse next year than this and you don't get the change to go at all?

I'm still recommending talking it over with the kids/girl's parents & looking at all the options.

 

[Bren's Mom]

That's a tough one. Since you've already extended the invitation, I think you're in for a tough rough if you just cancel her part and still go yourselves. I'd suggest either making changes to your trip that would allow you to go...or postpone the trip for another few months to give you the time to save the extra money. If you go without her, you'll cause upset with your extended family as well as potentially with your daughter.

 

[Missy1961]

I would be honest with her & her family. I'm sure they'll understand.

 

[Pigeon]

I would postpone the trip until I could afford to include her.

 

[brekin67]

I think you should postpone. How would your dd feel if she were cut from a vacation she was invited to?

 

[Belle5]

Could you try to shave to $740 off your trip in some other way--maybe staying off-site and cooking most of your meals? I would rather do that than leave her out at this point. I just have a hard time seeing your daughter being happy at WDW after this--girls are very emotional about these things.

 

[ancestry]

I would either ask the girls to try to earn the additional money or I would postpone the trip until I could include her. "Uninviting" her now while still going yourselves would be tacky in my opinion.

My daughter (now 18) has had a part-time job at Dairy Queen since she turned 16. She easily brings home about $300 per month and still does all of her other activities. Could either of both of the girls get a job to earn the money?

 

[dizluvah]

That's a tough one. Since you've already extended the invitation, I think you're in for a tough rough if you just cancel her part and still go yourselves. I'd suggest either making changes to your trip that would allow you to go...or postpone the trip for another few months to give you the time to save the extra money. If you go without her, you'll cause upset with your extended family as well as potentially with your daughter.

I completely agree ! I believe either all of you go on the trip or you have to cancel the entire thing.

 

[allison443]

Sorry about your situation...I think you were trying to do something nice for your niece! I agree it's going to be difficult to explain why you can still afford the trip for your family, but not her part...it can't be cheap for your own family to purchase airfare and tickets. Maybe the girls could work to earn money for the trip between now and then.

 

[branv]

I would postpone the trip until I could afford to include her.

I agree. I feel for your tough situation, but I could never promise to take my niece, then say "sorry, we can't afford you" while taking the rest of the family. I'm not judging anyone who does, I'm just saying it would break my heart to do that to her. And I know your kids might be disappointed at first, but it also sends them a good message about keeping ones promises, giving, and compromise when we care for others. Besides, if money is really so tight, perhaps overall it's a bad time to take a vacation at the moment anyway. It might work well for all of you in the long run to wait this out. Or if you just have to go, I'd cut back everywhere I could to make sure niece came along -- staff offsite rather than onsite, more meals in the rooms, less days, etc.

 

[Justsyd2]

I would postpone the trip, too, until you can all go. It would be very tacky, not to mention heartbreaking to tell her that you can't afford to take her, then your family go and leave her behind.

 

[ncbyrne]

This same thing happened to my DGD. Her best friend's parents invited her to go along with them on the WDW trip. Then the Dad has his hours cut and $ got tighter. The mom called and explained the situation and that was that. My DGD was naturally disappointed but she got over it! The family went to WDW as planned and had a great time.

 

[Praying Colonel]

I would postpone the trip until I could afford to include her.

^This. If I made that commitment, I'd honor it. Even if it meant postponing.

 

[crisi]

I agree with the postpone or cut costs. You shouldn't "uninvite" her from a trip the rest of the family is taking.

 

[punkin]

I agree with everyone else. Postpone the trip or find some way to cut corners. She is not just a friend. She is your niece. She is your family. I personally could never disappoint my niece like that. If I could still afford to take my immediate family, I would make sure my niece could go too. If money is that tight, I wouldn't go at all.

 

[dancin Disney style]

I'm in total agreement with the majority. Sit everyone down, kids and DN's parents, and explain the situation. There is absolutely no reason why at the age of 16 the girls can not come up with the money over the summer. I think that since your DD wants her cousin along she should be responsible for half the money. Really, between 2 kids it's not much to earn. This is a great opportunity to teach a leason in responsibility and finances.

I have 2 daughters and while we are very lucky and do not have any money issues we have set a rule that once you turn 16 you must have a part time job with close to full time hours in the summer. Once they start working they must pay for their own clothes. The exception being things like winter coats and boots. Also, at age 19 we will no longer exclusively pay for vacations. With regard to vacations we will cover hotel, food and airfare but anything extra the kids must pay for. So last years WDW trip our oldest had to pay for her park tickets. They have since about the age of 8 had to supply their own spending money. It may sound harsh but they are both very responsible with their money and have rather large bank accounts. My oldest is just finishing her first year of college and with her own money paid half her tuition and all of her books. She offered to do this. As a result she has taken ownership of her education, it no longer just something that you have to do. She is getting better grades than she has ever had.

 

[Stacy's a freak]

Yes, this is definitely a lesson in "real life" for your daughter and niece. It's an awful position for you to be in and it will be difficult to discuss with them ... but honesty is the best way to go. And while talking about it with them (and the rest of your family), discuss the possible options (i.e., postponing, leaving your niece behind, or giving the girls a chance to pitch in to help). If everyone has some input, it might be a little easier to swallow the plan.

Best of luck to you!