Offered to take a friend... now can't afford it

[hentob]

I think the OP can't decide which story she wants to tell:

http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=35639646&postcount=2

If you feel comfortable with it, I would do it. I am taking my dn with us for the first time this Sept., but she's a little older. It would be so nice to let her have a special time. My dn is very similar where her parents just don't take her anywhere and her brothers get to do everything. They've (brothers) gone to Disneyland 2 summers in a row and lots of other little trips that she never got to do. I'm having her pay for her flight and tickets. I have to get a room anyway, so that doesn't cost me anything more. We are still hoping for free dining so that she doesnt' have to pay any more for food.

Wow

 

[okeydokey]

I think the OP can't decide which story she wants to tell:

http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=35639646&postcount=2

If you feel comfortable with it, I would do it. I am taking my dn with us for the first time this Sept., but she's a little older. It would be so nice to let her have a special time. My dn is very similar where her parents just don't take her anywhere and her brothers get to do everything. They've (brothers) gone to Disneyland 2 summers in a row and lots of other little trips that she never got to do. I'm having her pay for her flight and tickets. I have to get a room anyway, so that doesn't cost me anything more. We are still hoping for free dining so that she doesnt' have to pay any more for food.

If the niece is already paying her way, what's the problem?

 

[kaseyC]

I think the OP can't decide which story she wants to tell:

http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=35639646&postcount=2

If you feel comfortable with it, I would do it. I am taking my dn with us for the first time this Sept., but she's a little older. It would be so nice to let her have a special time. My dn is very similar where her parents just don't take her anywhere and her brothers get to do everything. They've (brothers) gone to Disneyland 2 summers in a row and lots of other little trips that she never got to do. I'm having her pay for her flight and tickets. I have to get a room anyway, so that doesn't cost me anything more. We are still hoping for free dining so that she doesnt' have to pay any more for food.

Whoa!! Looks like someone has been caught with contradicting stories. I take it the OP probably will not be back to this thread!

 

[kinntj]

I think the OP can't decide which story she wants to tell:

http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=35639646&postcount=2

If you feel comfortable with it, I would do it. I am taking my dn with us for the first time this Sept., but she's a little older. It would be so nice to let her have a special time. My dn is very similar where her parents just don't take her anywhere and her brothers get to do everything. They've (brothers) gone to Disneyland 2 summers in a row and lots of other little trips that she never got to do. I'm having her pay for her flight and tickets. I have to get a room anyway, so that doesn't cost me anything more. We are still hoping for free dining so that she doesnt' have to pay any more for food.

what in the world? Is her niece paying or not?

 

[Praying Colonel]

OP, I am not telling you what to do, but I will tell you what I would do in your situation.
If money was so tight that I didn't have an extra $740 to spend then that means I really can't afford to go on a WDW vacation so I would potpone it until I am in a better place financially.

Great point.

 

[punkin]

what in the world? Is her niece paying or not?

Now I'm confused as well.

If her niece is paying for flight and tickets anyway, why would it cost more for OP to take her?

 

[Jenny-momof3]

Me thinks that someone extended the invitation and now regrets doing so. So is trying to come up with some sorry excuse as to why she can't take her.

What a rotten thing to do to a kid.

 

[branv]

I also suspect some facts were fudged -- given the size and ages in her immediate family, and their seeming plan to stay value/mod, her saying that the niece was costing them more due to having to book a larger room doesn't play out either. With 6 people, 5 over age of 9, all older than age 3, they would have required 2 rooms anyway even w/o niece in a value or mod.

I really had hoped we could help the OP, but I'm guessing she already knew what she wanted to do and just wanted someone to tell her it was okay. I would think if you have to inflate the details to sell your story, however, you already know you're doing something that doesn't sit well somewhere inside. I hope for the OP and her family, that she comes to a decision that is best for everyone involved.

 

[punkin]

I also suspect some facts were fudged -- given the size and ages in her immediate family, and their plan to stay value/mod, her saying that the niece was costing them more due to having to book a larger room doesn't play out either. With 6 people, 5 over the age of 9, they would have required 2 rooms anyway even w/o niece in a value or mod.

I really had hoped we could help the OP, but I'm guessing she already knew what she wanted to do and just wanted someone to tell her it was okay. I would think if you have to inflate the details to sell your story, however, you already know you're doing something that doesn't sit well somewhere inside. I hope for the OP and her family, that she comes to a decision that is best for everyone involved.

Even in a deluxe, isn't the maximum 5 people and a baby under 3? I don't really know OP's party size or where she is staying, but I really am confused now.

I am sorry for the poor niece. She must feel wanted and appreciated.

 

[Bete]

over the cost of having another room which may or may not be necessary. If it's necessary anyway for her own family, then it would be in the costs anyway and the niece is just going along for the ride. I still believe you can do a twin airbed to make it work in a one room. You can buy park tickets in many different ways and it doesn't have to be length of stay tickets, either. You certainly could revise this vacation to make something else work.

I have a friend whose hubby had hours shortened, as well. He got a part time job in a hardware chain store. It didn't pay as well, but it worked for them. There are plenty of places that are flexible about days and hours when working part time. They especially like Saturday and Sunday help where you can probably work an 8 hour day or more. These places love not paying benefits. They have a tough time finding good people for part time positions. What's the hubby doing with his off time?

We are getting very mixed signals from the OP and if you noticed she hasn't responded to all the ideas, here.

If what she says is true about the niece's family not having enough funds I think this would be a big let down for the niece not to go. It would be another reminder that we are finacially poor and I think that's not the message to be giving her at this stage of life. Do something good and find a way to make it work without burdening the poor niece.

 

[punkin]

over the cost of having another room which may or may not be necessary. If it's necessary anyway for her own family, then it would be in the costs anyway and the niece is just going along for the ride.

I have a friend whose hubby had hours shortened, as well. He got a part time job in a hardware chain store. It didn't pay as well, but it worked for them. There are plenty of places that are flexible about days and hours when working part time. They especially like Saturday and Sunday help where you can probably work an 8 hour day or more. These places love not paying benefits. They have a tough time finding good people for part time positions. What's the hubby doing with his off time? If it's only a few hours a week then I don't see the big deal over expenses.

We are getting very mixed signals from the OP and if you noticed she hasn't responded to all the ideas, here.

If what she says is true about the niece's family not having enough funds I think this would be a big let down for the niece not to go. It would be another reminder that we are finacially poor and I think that's not the message to be giving her at this stage of life. Do something good and find a way to make it work without burdening the poor niece.

Yes, I noticed.

Well, whatever. we tried to help. If OP just wanted support for her decision, I don't think she got it. If she wanted some ideas on how to make this happen, she got that.

 

[badblackpug]

Regardless of the story or circumstances, I don't think it is right to "un-invite" someone. The invitation has been extended and the trip is on. You (general "you") either need to modify the trip so that everyone can be included or you need to cancel the trip altogether. There is absolutely no polite was to say "You are a financial burden."

 

[Bete]

Regardless of the story or circumstances, I don't think it is right to "un-invite" someone. The invitation has been extended and the trip is on. You (general "you") either need to modify the trip so that everyone can be included or you need to cancel the trip altogether. There is absolutely no polite was to say "You are a financial burden."

Who are the adults, here afterall? They need to start acting like adults.

 

[chisnpeke]

So is the OP lying? Does she just not want to take the niece and is using financial reasons as her reason?

 

[NMW]

I would never promise my niece a trip and then just go without her. I would also have a serious probelm with an adult that did something like that to my child. You just can't invite a child (especially a member of your OWN family) and then just un-invite them. That's just horrible.

 

[DVCBELLE]

If the niece puts the OP at 6 people - I am willing to bet that with her own family she would book a 4 bedroom and leave one of them off the reservation but if her niece comes then she will be compelled to bump up to the room for 6.

Something tells me she won't be back

 

[disneycruising]

I agree. I feel for your tough situation, but I could never promise to take my niece, then say "sorry, we can't afford you" while taking the rest of the family. I'm not judging anyone who does, I'm just saying it would break my heart to do that to her. And I know your kids might be disappointed at first, but it also sends them a good message about keeping ones promises, giving, and compromise when we care for others. Besides, if money is really so tight, perhaps overall it's a bad time to take a vacation at the moment anyway. It might work well for all of you in the long run to wait this out. Or if you just have to go, I'd cut back everywhere I could to make sure niece came along -- staff offsite rather than onsite, more meals in the rooms, less days, etc.

This is exactly what I was thinking.

 

[williamson_ja]

OP here. I actually haven't been on the boards for a while because I was dealing with some work issues. We were really busy this week.
1. To answer some questions of the many naysayers that we have here....
No, I am not lying to get out of taking my neice. We love her dearly. Our original plan was that dn would pay more a bigger part of the cost. This turned out to be too big of a burden for them, so I offered to help out more.

2. I didn't want to go without her at all. We were trying to get some ideas for what to do. Sometimes you get put in hard spots and need a few ideas for how to handle it. Once you hear a few ideas, it helps to process some of your options. That's all I was looking for.

3. We have decided to cancel the trip altogether this year and try again another time. My dh came home earlier this week to tell me that his company is now being sold and he will most likely completely lose his job when it does sell. They had 2 people coming in this week to look at buying it. We decided that the responsible thing to do as parents is to put that money into savings so that if a job loss does come, we will be able to pay our bills while he looks for a new job. As disappointing as that will be to both my dn and my dd, I also think it sends the wrong message about responsibility when you go on big vacations when you are looking at losing your job. Sometimes bad things happen and you have to adjust to the new situation.

I think it is sad that many times on these boards people are just looking for some advice or someone to listen to them and peoplel get so judgemental. I don't understand why so many on here get the "holier than thou" attitude. We are just people trying to make the best decisions that we can. Of course we all try to be good responsible parents. We don't need everyone else telling us that we are not when they don't understand the whole situation anyway.

 

[mrsklamc]

I'm sorry you felt attacked and I am very sorry your family is facing such a tough situation.

I hope it works out that you can all go together in the near future.

 

[EllenFrasier]

Sorry to hear you have to cancel your trip, but that doesn't mean that your dd and dn cannot take some of the ideas put forth on this thread and try to make some money for the trip when you eventually do go, right?