Offensive emails from family members?

[barkley]

if you choose to lower yourself to his level and are willing to bide your time let me know-the next time i get one of my regular mailings from the branch davidians i'll p.m. you the address they give to add people to their mailing lists.

how i got on theirs i have no idea, but the offensive religious and political garbage they snail mail me would be offsetting to anyone and once on their mailing list YOU ARE ON FOR LIFE (i've had 4 addresses since they started-none that had a forwarding and they always manage to find me).

 

[ols386]

I wouldn't like it if a relative were sending offensive political emails to me...especially in light of the fact that your husband has already asked him to stop. I think it's really disrespectful for him to continue sending them, knowing that they are not wanted. Your husband may have to say something again, only a little more forceful, to get the point across that you do not appreciate him sending them.

 

[PaddingtonBear]

There was a huge blow up in my family at election time over this and two of my aunts are barely speaking to the third becuase the third aunt had enough of thier offensive emails and told them to cease and desist. Of course aunt #3 threw everything but the kitchen sink at them becuase she was so angry over years of "Christians don't support candidate X" and "God only want Candidtae X". So by the time aunt #3 blew up, she was ranting about how the other two thought she wasn't a good Christian, her life is happier, her kids more sucessful, she's made fewer life mistakes, she's more educated than the other two, etc. Trust me, its not worth it, its far easier to delete and go on with life.

If, however, you are like me and can't take your own good advice , here's how I handled it:

1. Emails coming from my aunts- I would reply to all with a link to a snopes or urbanlegends.com that refute the basic facts in the email. I would add a commentary about how I love democracy and think its great to advocate for your point of view, but please do it truthfully. Lies about candidate x only weaken candidate y's position. That shut them up pretty quickly, since its rather embarassing for them. It also kept me from being a bad guy. Who can argue with a "check it out before you forward it on" request.

2. Emails coming from a frienemy- I tried tactic 1, no avail. I emailed him and told him to quit emailing political stuff, no dice. I finally told him if he didn't quit, there'd be retalitory tatics. When he emailed the next one, I promptly sent the DNC $50 on his behalf, then signed him up at moveon.org, dnc.org, barackobama.com, now.com, plannedparenthood.com, peta.org- every liberal think tank, money raiser, candidate in national state and local races, he was put on thier mailing lists. I donated to Obama in his name, to move on in his name, to the dnc. He is now a donor to those organizations and will NEVER get off thier lists. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Not so proud of tactic 3, but the frienemy was expendible so I wasn't worried about loosing the relationship, and I have to admit, it was fun. Wouldn't recommend this route with your BIL, though.

 

[JessicaR]

Just delete without reading any email that has a subject like other than about the wedding. Simple. Don't open them and don't read them.

This is exactly what I would do.

Be prepared to be subjected to his opinion while you are there. I have an Uncle that just wont let it go, sounds so familiar! Sorry.

 

[Kathi OD]

.........

2. Emails coming from a frienemy- I tried tactic 1, no avail. I emailed him and told him to quit emailing political stuff, no dice. I finally told him if he didn't quit, there'd be retalitory tatics. When he emailed the next one, I promptly sent the DNC $50 on his behalf, then signed him up at moveon.org, dnc.org, barackobama.com, now.com, plannedparenthood.com, peta.org- every liberal think tank, money raiser, candidate in national state and local races, he was put on thier mailing lists. I donated to Obama in his name, to move on in his name, to the dnc. He is now a donor to those organizations and will NEVER get off thier lists. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Not so proud of tactic 3, but the frienemy was expendible so I wasn't worried about loosing the relationship, and I have to admit, it was fun. Wouldn't recommend this route with your BIL, though.

Got to say I love the evil way your mind thinks!

 

[NotUrsula]

Someone in my family married one of these people. He's otherwise a really sweet and generous guy who would give you the shirt off his back even if it was his last, but his politics are WAY, WAAAAYYYYY right-wing. I am, quite simply, NOT right-wing at all; I veer rather sharply left, in fact, and he knows it.

In my case the emails were coming in on my work address. I had another family member who was sending offensive jokes, so I sent out a blanket email reminding the entire family that my company really did not like employees forwarding chain emails because they often contained spyware or viruses. While I did not come out and SAY that I would get in trouble for trafficing such emails, I strongly hinted at it. That got rid of the emails. The one thing NO ONE in my family will argue with is that messing with someone's job is off-limits.

In person, I always use the same tactic. Any time he starts ranting, I look at him really sweetly and say, "I love you, too, Howard -- even if you are a reactionary neo-con." Then I leave the room for a while; it's usually a good time for a potty break.

 

[Disney Doll]

2. Emails coming from a frienemy- I tried tactic 1, no avail. I emailed him and told him to quit emailing political stuff, no dice. I finally told him if he didn't quit, there'd be retalitory tatics. When he emailed the next one, I promptly sent the DNC $50 on his behalf, then signed him up at moveon.org, dnc.org, barackobama.com, now.com, plannedparenthood.com, peta.org- every liberal think tank, money raiser, candidate in national state and local races, he was put on thier mailing lists. I donated to Obama in his name, to move on in his name, to the dnc. He is now a donor to those organizations and will NEVER get off thier lists. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Not so proud of tactic 3, but the frienemy was expendible so I wasn't worried about loosing the relationship, and I have to admit, it was fun. Wouldn't recommend this route with your BIL, though.

You are my idol!!!!!!!!!

 

[barkley]

There was a huge blow up in my family at election time over this and two of my aunts are barely speaking to the third becuase the third aunt had enough of thier offensive emails and told them to cease and desist. Of course aunt #3 threw everything but the kitchen sink at them becuase she was so angry over years of "Christians don't support candidate X" and "God only want Candidtae X". So by the time aunt #3 blew up, she was ranting about how the other two thought she wasn't a good Christian, her life is happier, her kids more sucessful, she's made fewer life mistakes, she's more educated than the other two, etc. Trust me, its not worth it, its far easier to delete and go on with life.

If, however, you are like me and can't take your own good advice , here's how I handled it:

1. Emails coming from my aunts- I would reply to all with a link to a snopes or urbanlegends.com that refute the basic facts in the email. I would add a commentary about how I love democracy and think its great to advocate for your point of view, but please do it truthfully. Lies about candidate x only weaken candidate y's position. That shut them up pretty quickly, since its rather embarassing for them. It also kept me from being a bad guy. Who can argue with a "check it out before you forward it on" request.

2. Emails coming from a frienemy- I tried tactic 1, no avail. I emailed him and told him to quit emailing political stuff, no dice. I finally told him if he didn't quit, there'd be retalitory tatics. When he emailed the next one, I promptly sent the DNC $50 on his behalf, then signed him up at moveon.org, dnc.org, barackobama.com, now.com, plannedparenthood.com, peta.org- every liberal think tank, money raiser, candidate in national state and local races, he was put on thier mailing lists. I donated to Obama in his name, to move on in his name, to the dnc. He is now a donor to those organizations and will NEVER get off thier lists. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Not so proud of tactic 3, but the frienemy was expendible so I wasn't worried about loosing the relationship, and I have to admit, it was fun. Wouldn't recommend this route with your BIL, though.

i got ticked off at my dh back when we were dating-i called up one of the popular tele-evangelist shows at the time and made a donation in his name asking for a prayer request. once you pay them they never let go-he got all kinds of wacko mailings for years (my fav was a small vial of cooking oil that came with a little peice of fabric-it was "holy annointing oil" that you were supposed to annoint yourself with to bring forth your more charitable ($$$$ to the ministry) attributes

 

[Nancyg56]

T

Not so proud of tactic 3, but the frienemy was expendible so I wasn't worried about loosing the relationship, and I have to admit, it was fun. Wouldn't recommend this route with your BIL, though.

I Love it!

 

[Sabeking]

What do you do if your BIL keeps sending politically offensive emails to you and your husband? DH has asked him to stop this but it is escallating.

The worst thing is we are supposed to be guests of theirs in October when we go to Houston for his daughters' wedding. This is really making me not want to go. I think I might have a hard time keeping my mouth shut if he starts up.

I, for one, am glad the DIS banned political and religious posts, they create a lot of hard feelings no matter which side of the fence you are on. Why do people do this to one another? It could be any number of other topics he could be emailing like women bashing or fat jokes and I would be equally offended but it just seems so unnecessary.

I don't feel I can even block his emails because of the wedding planning issues.

Your BIL is clearly wrong and should respect your wishes. However, I am curious if you have ever said things to him pushing your side; ie.. you have stated your party very clearly in your identification box. I'm just saying it takes two to tango.

 

[RNMOM]

OMG PaddingtonBear, you are my hero! That is a great idea, which I won't follow, BTW. I love it.

No, I have not sent emails to my BIL even during the election. My DH has, on occassion, retaliated. That is the fuel I think. I really think there are a lot of very angry people out there right now and friends and family given them one of the few safe places to vent.

I am not resentful of BIL's assets because he has worked hard and sacrificed for all he has. So have we. I do resent that he can't turn off the 'ceo' persona when he is not working. My DH used to be an uber conservative when I met him but has since come over to the 'dark' side. He will send back comments once in a while and it has just made things worse as many of you have noted.

I will just ignore them and will do my best to follow your suggestion to walk away rather than engage when there. After the wedding we are expected to remain for a few days to visit. I'm sure we'll be okay but cross your fingers for me. Thanks a bunch. You all are so creative.

 

[rie'smom]

I have my dad blocked because of his nutty emails. If I need some info or if he does, we pick up the phone. If he asks about a particular email I just tell him that I must have erased it by mistake. Yes, I lie but it spares his feelings.

 

[wilderness01]

This same exact thing happened today to our house from my inlaw. For at least the last year we have "enjoyed" several e-mails from their point of view. Today I had enough and fired back. The inlaw didn't like it, but too bad. I have NEVER sent anything political, and that inlaw should have the same respect, stop the e-mails and keep their opinions to themselves.

 

[Serena]

Delete, delete.

Get the mind set that he just doesn't know any better. If you have to think of him as a three year old with a hammer that he just has to beat on the table with.

And every time he brings up a subject you would rather not discuss with him, excuse yourself to the powder room, the kitchen, or all of a sudden see someone you hadn't talked to yet. Find some reason and have it ready to excuse yourself each time he comes close just in case.

He can talk to the wall for all you care, don't participate in it.

Yes, I have a big family with many I have to excuse myself from. So far it has worked and they have eventually gotten the picture that some things I won't talk with them about. And I visit as seldom as I can manage.