Off the Wall Question

[18sprint]

This has been bugging me for a long time now. I belong to about 12 different message boards, all relating to Disney. I try to read all of them regularly and post often, more on some boards than others, just depends on the subjects. I'm not one to chime in unless I have some relavant to say or some expertise on the subject. I don't critisize people or opinions, my views are my own. In other words, I try very hard to be a good member, someone who can help someone else and occasionally ask others thier opinions or questions.

Now, here's what I find. I won't name the boards, but there are several that seem to have an "air" about them that treats me like an outsider. On particularly I have posted over 600 times and the responses I get on questions are short and nasty at times. The last question I got a nasty answer to was "is there a boat from DHS to Boardwalk?" "Well, if you look at a resort you'll see there is!" And this was by a moderator of the board.

I guess my question is, are the people on these boards really personal friends of each other or "virtual" friends. I have no doubt that many people know each other personally because many of them talk about vacationing together or doing "meets". But I gotta say that on about 1/2 the boards I like to read, I am treated like an outsider, not welcome to join in. Is it just me or does anyone else get the feelings too?

 

[Klismania]

I think what happens is that some smaller boards eventually boil down to cliques. You have a core group of people who spend all day, every day on the board so they feel invested in it. Then you have a larger satellite group of people who post once in awhile (maybe once a week) because they consider that board to be a known friend. Outside of that circle, you have the people who read for entertainment purposes and don't post at all or, at minimum, post every once in awhile (such as yourself).

If you're getting nasty responses from the clique or 2nd circle of people, chances are that they feel they're more invested in the board than you are. No matter how long you've been registered, you're still an outsider and they can treat you however they choose. If you make the mistake of "attacking" an insider by insisting that they be civil to you and you take steps necessary to force the board owner to comply with their IP's TOS, then congratulations: you've just made an enemy of that poster and all their insider friends. No matter how right you are, and how many rules and TOS you can quote for justifying your "attack", they will consider what you did as wrong.

So now you have to decide what you want to do about this board that typically carps at any of your posts. You can invest 4-8 hours a day in posting so much that you force yourself in as a member of the clique, or you can ignore the barbs and continue reading if the data on the board itself gives you sustenance and pleasure, or you can choose to discontinue your association with it completely.

Personally, I'd choose #3. There are plenty of internet BB's out there related to Disney. If you don't find what you want at one, go to another one.

 

[bicker]

This is very common. Cliquishness almost seems to be a basic human need. I have belonged to a number of discussion forums over the years, mostly having to do with other topics (the entertainment and media industries, religion and spirituality, etc.) but several other Disney-related forums as well. I have yet to find an online discussion forum wherein everyone is welcomed just as warmly as everyone else.

Facebook, actually, comes the closest, but I think that that's because it is so large, and rather than everyone always being treated in an equally friendly manner, it is either/or - either everyone is treated in an equally friendly manner, or everyone is treated in an equally unfriendly manner.

I think this speaks of something deep-seated. While we all, of course, seek to be part of a community, human communities tend to seek to drive everyone to be the same, rather than tending to foster diversity. The fostering and valuing of diversity is something humans have to work out - it's a case where our better nature, and our knowledge and experience, have to be made to prevail over our instinct.