Octuplet Grandmother....WOW!

[RitaE]

ITA..who on this board would do that to their grandchildren. I know I would not be able to, no matter how angry I would be with my daughter.

I just could not do it.

If the Grandmother made a claim with Children's Services about the unfit parenting of the daughter, she could maybe petition the court to become the legal guardian of the Grandchildren. I don't know how successful she might be at this point. But yes, in order for that to happen they will have to quit parenting for her. I wouldn't be surprised to see it headed in that direction though.

I feel for those Grandparents, seriously I do. They're exhausted physically, they're exhausted financially, and now it looks like they won't get to spend much of the last years of their lives together because Grandpa has to move to Iraq to earn money for Nadya. I don't know how they hold it together.

 

[Rebelmom67]

That's the point. She loves her grand kids, but she also knows that as long as their mother is part of their lives, they are going to be used as pawns by her. I'm not saying that Nayda doesn't love them in her own bizarre way, but she is not, IMHO, in a position to give them the care they deserve.

The grandparents can only do so much for them with their mom in the picture. They are also not in a position to give them adequate care financial and emotionally.

Sometimes, the best way to show love, is to make the hard choice. In this case, I believe that putting the children in good homes, when they are still young, seems better than waiting for them to grow up as disfunctional teens when no one will be willing to take them. Yes, there is a chance that they will not have problems as they grow up, but the odds are really stacked against them.

OK, where are these "good homes" of which you speak? Foster homes are not always loving and nurturing environments. To do that to those poor children would ensure a tortured childhood for some of them.

 

[TotalSnowWhite]

That's the point. She loves her grand kids, but she also knows that as long as their mother is part of their lives, they are going to be used as pawns by her. I'm not saying that Nayda doesn't love them in her own bizarre way, but she is not, IMHO, in a position to give them the care they deserve.

The grandparents can only do so much for them with their mom in the picture. They are also not in a position to give them adequate care financial and emotionally.

Sometimes, the best way to show love, is to make the hard choice. In this case, I believe that putting the children in good homes, when they are still young, seems better than waiting for them to grow up as disfunctional teens when no one will be willing to take them. Yes, there is a chance that they will not have problems as they grow up, but the odds are really stacked against them.

There you go again, assuming that these 14 children will end up in good homes. They will be split up. So, not only will they have to find one good home, they may have to find as many as 14. Where do you think they'll stay while waiting for placement? Group homes, temporary homes, juvenile facilities. It's not a pleasant process. It ain't Disney World out here. There are horrible people in this world, and some of them are fostering children just for the money (and other unspeakable reasons) more often than you'd like to think.

I don't know about the laws there, but in OK, there are funds set up to help grandparents as parents. If the parent(s) is declared unfit and custody is given to the grandparents, they may be able to get help. Much better option than shipping them out to Lord knows who and Lord knows how many locations.

 

[Huggles]

She's probably waiting on the loud hailer call from Ty and the gang from Extreme Makeover as I don't for a minute believe she seriously expects to return to her folks house and cramped living. She's in it for the sponsorship and the sad thing is , if she doesn't get everything given to her and folks jumping through hoops for her, then all those deserving little children are going to suffer because of their feckless mother.

I feel sorry for the grandparents who, when they were young and fit, brought up one child only to be faced , in their later life when they should be winding down, with the duty of raising SIX !

 

[pweyl36]

She's probably waiting on the loud hailer call from Ty and the gang from Extreme Makeover as I don't for a minute believe she seriously expects to return to her folks house and cramped living. She's in it for the sponsorship and the sad thing is , if she doesn't get everything given to her and folks jumping through hoops for her, then all those deserving little children are going to suffer because of their feckless mother.

I feel sorry for the grandparents who, when they were young and fit, brought up one child only to be faced , in their later life when they should be winding down, with the duty of raising SIX !

If that happens I will never watch that show again.

 

[fairykin]

Poor children.
Sad situation for the grandparents.
Irresponsible doctor.
Crazy mother.

 

[tekmom]

She's probably waiting on the loud hailer call from Ty and the gang from Extreme Makeover as I don't for a minute believe she seriously expects to return to her folks house and cramped living. She's in it for the sponsorship and the sad thing is , if she doesn't get everything given to her and folks jumping through hoops for her, then all those deserving little children are going to suffer because of their feckless mother.

I feel sorry for the grandparents who, when they were young and fit, brought up one child only to be faced , in their later life when they should be winding down, with the duty of raising SIX !

I don't feel sorry for the grandparents. I think they're in on the cash grab. Grandma invited the media into that pigpen for a reason...so we would all feel sorry for those poor little kids in that cramped house. If we think grandma's gonna bolt, we'll open our wallets. I don't think so. At best, they are enablers... at worst, active participants. The cycle will repeat and eventually the kids will be adults working the system, too.

 

[Feralpeg]

There you go again, assuming that these 14 children will end up in good homes. They will be split up. So, not only will they have to find one good home, they may have to find as many as 14. Where do you think they'll stay while waiting for placement? Group homes, temporary homes, juvenile facilities. It's not a pleasant process. It ain't Disney World out here. There are horrible people in this world, and some of them are fostering children just for the money (and other unspeakable reasons) more often than you'd like to think.

I don't know about the laws there, but in OK, there are funds set up to help grandparents as parents. If the parent(s) is declared unfit and custody is given to the grandparents, they may be able to get help. Much better option than shipping them out to Lord knows who and Lord knows how many locations.

I'm well aware that not all foster homes are good homes. Do you think things are going to be any better where they are now? There is a chance that some, if not all, will end up in loving homes. While I think it would be a shame to split them up, their mom has ensured that there is no way that they could all go to the same home if she can't care for them. No one is going to take in 14 children.

Did you stop to think that maybe the grandparents don't want to raise another set of children? That doesn't make them bad people, but it isn't their responsibility.

So what's the answer? Leave them where they are and hope that they make it through the mess that their mom has created? I don't think that's the right answer.

 

[momrek06]

Does anyone know if the new mom has been offered any freebies at all yet?? I live here in CA and it is on the News alllllllllllllllllllllllllll of the time. It is very sad. The grandmom looks exhausted to me. The house needs a good cleaning and all the while the new mom is just smiling 24/7 over all of this. I would be like this if I were now the proud single parent of 8 new babies soon to join my 6 kiddos at home. Literally

But that aside, I have not heard anyone from diaper companies to baby furniture stores offering anything. I also heard she did not get paid to do the 20/20 story.

 

[TotalSnowWhite]

I'm well aware that not all foster homes are good homes. Do you think things are going to be any better where they are now? There is a chance that some, if not all, will end up in loving homes. While I think it would be a shame to split them up, their mom has ensured that there is no way that they could all go to the same home if she can't care for them. No one is going to take in 14 children.

Did you stop to think that maybe the grandparents don't want to raise another set of children? That doesn't make them bad people, but it isn't their responsibility.

So what's the answer? Leave them where they are and hope that they make it through the mess that their mom has created? I don't think that's the right answer.

If they stay with a grandmother who loves them and cares for them to the best of her ability (with possible help from a program similar to ours in OK), then, yes, I think that is a far better scenario than yours. Would you advise a friend to take the chance that her children would end up in a loving home. On the other side of that chance is the bigger chance that they will not.

I haven't heard anything to the effect that the grandparents would be opposed to raising these children aside from the exasperation with the daughter.

Have you experienced foster homes? Do you know children who are in the system? Do you hear the horrible, explicit stories from the mouths of seven year olds? I'm honestly asking, not being facetious. I don't think you'd be so quick to dump these children in the system if you had worked closely with it. You keep mentioning good homes. Yes, there are some amazing foster homes out there, but trying to find 14 (heck, even trying to find one) loving environment for these children is not as easy as taking them from their family and "putting the children in good homes" as you suggest.

 

[torinsmom]

I just saw part of an interview where the mom said she would use student loans to help pay for raising the kids temporarily. Maybe that is why she is planning to go back to school.....

Marsha

 

[RitaE]

LOL, sure. Student Loans.

Because every woman who is responsible for 6 kids under the age of 8 PLUS 8 premature babies under a year old can just spend hours a day studying at the University.

I remember watching one of those "mutiple baby" family shows on TLC once and it was probably over a YEAR before that Mom even got the time to take a nap longer than 3 or 4 hours --- and she had a husband around to co-parent.

 

[shmoogrrrl]

So, do you think it was God's will for her to have 14 children she can't take care of?

I'm not refuting God's will, but I think we also have a responsibilty to make smart choices. I have PCOS and will most likely have to turn to fertility treatments. However, I will not be implanting eight embryos into my body. I will follow the recommended procedure and then leave it up to God.

No. I'll be honest and say that I don't think that it will be Gods will that she RAISE them. Who knows. I can't really speak for God.

I have PCOS as well. Not a ton of fun, that. I am sure it is why we ended up going the fertility route as well. Are you on Metformin, if you don't mind me being nosy? I think that my doctor would have laughed at me if I suggested putting in 6-8 embryos. He was iffy on two because I am also a diabetic. However, we did end up doing two both times. Six just seems insane to me.

 

[TotalSnowWhite]

No. I'll be honest and say that I don't think that it will be Gods will that she RAISE them. Who knows. I can't really speak for God.

I have PCOS as well. Not a ton of fun, that. I am sure it is why we ended up going the fertility route as well. Are you on Metformin, if you don't mind me being nosy? I think that my doctor would have laughed at me if I suggested putting in 6-8 embryos. He was iffy on two because I am also a diabetic. However, we did end up doing two both times. Six just seems insane to me.

Actually, I am on Metformin (along with my co-workers pre-diabetic husband, we like to compare side effects ). It seems to have stimulated a little weight loss (I just started them in December). I've actually not had the time to get them refilled, so I'm a bad patient and about a month behind.

 

[shmoogrrrl]

Actually, I am on Metformin (along with my co-workers pre-diabetic husband, we like to compare side effects ). It seems to have stimulated a little weight loss (I just started them in December). I've actually not had the time to get them refilled, so I'm a bad patient and about a month behind.

Ack! I hope that you don't go through all those side effects again!

 

[TotalSnowWhite]

Ack! I hope that you don't go through all those side effects again!

They weren't too bad, actually. I'd share the most prevalent one, but that would be TMI.

 

[kaytieeldr]

What did he do that was illegal? All I can tell is that he provided fertility treatment to a woman with fertility issues

I dunno. Already having six children pretty much belies any fertility issues.

There is no requirement to be responsible before you can become a parent. Actually, there are NO requirements before you can become a parent.

Yet you need to be licensed before you can catch a fish...

So, if she ended up with 14 children as a result of 7 different implantations, this thread wouldn't exist (assuming we became aware of the situation)?

If she hired a publicist and did all/most of the other things she's doing right now, apparently for attention, money, or both? Yep.

 

[Silly Little Pixie]

Have you experienced foster homes? Do you know children who are in the system? Do you hear the horrible, explicit stories from the mouths of seven year olds? I'm honestly asking, not being facetious. I don't think you'd be so quick to dump these children in the system if you had worked closely with it. You keep mentioning good homes. Yes, there are some amazing foster homes out there, but trying to find 14 (heck, even trying to find one) loving environment for these children is not as easy as taking them from their family and "putting the children in good homes" as you suggest.

While I didn't live in a foster home... my parents were foster parents (and so I grew up with foster sibs in our home), and I have been a foster parent as well to a niece. I have students who have been adopted by wonderful foster parents, in sibling groups. I have a coworker who has also adopted 3 different sibling groups that came to her as foster children. I beg to differ that it would be difficult to find a "loving environment" for these children. Hard to find someone who would take 14, for sure. I think they would be able to find homes that would take them in groups of 2 or 3, at least.

I'm also a former social worker.

Yes, there are crappy foster homes. But guess what? There are crappy biological homes too. I've heard horrible, sickening stories from 7 year olds about their biological parents. It is such a sad, sick situation. The grandma is in a no-win situation, and she'll be slammed no matter what she does. I do think it's best if she could at least keep a few of the older kids, especially the autistic child. I don't blame her for deciding to go tough-love, though. It seems she's been doing all the work. The mom is clearly mentally ill, and almost certainly faces some very serious issues with her worker's comp case (you know they'll be thinking- your back is well enough to carry 7 pregnancies, including 2 multiples- well enough to return to a desk job at least, eh?). I would bet that her college is going to look into the student loans as well. In this economy, all that money is sorely needed by folks that are actually going to use it for their intended purpose.

The newborns though, I'll be surprised if all 8 are released to the mom. I'm certain CPS will monitor very, very carefully how the first few that go home do. They need to wait for her to fail. And they will. It would reflect very, very badly on them if one of those preemies died at home because she couldn't recognize their breathing troubles/illness/infection quickly enough because she was busy with the other 13. Who among us could care for 14 children under age 8, including 8 high-risk preemies? With no hired help or large family to support you?

They're better off being split up, sad as that might be.

 

[Huggles]

Hey, maybe the Duggars would take them in! If ever there was a family built to cope with fostering 14 kids, that's the one! Plus, it would save that poor woman's uterus from any further activity.

 

[TotalSnowWhite]

While I didn't live in a foster home... my parents were foster parents (and so I grew up with foster sibs in our home), and I have been a foster parent as well to a niece. I have students who have been adopted by wonderful foster parents, in sibling groups. I have a coworker who has also adopted 3 different sibling groups that came to her as foster children. I beg to differ that it would be difficult to find a "loving environment" for these children. Hard to find someone who would take 14, for sure. I think they would be able to find homes that would take them in groups of 2 or 3, at least.

I'm also a former social worker.

Yes, there are crappy foster homes. But guess what? There are crappy biological homes too. I've heard horrible, sickening stories from 7 year olds about their biological parents. It is such a sad, sick situation. The grandma is in a no-win situation, and she'll be slammed no matter what she does. I do think it's best if she could at least keep a few of the older kids, especially the autistic child. I don't blame her for deciding to go tough-love, though. It seems she's been doing all the work. The mom is clearly mentally ill, and almost certainly faces some very serious issues with her worker's comp case (you know they'll be thinking- your back is well enough to carry 7 pregnancies, including 2 multiples- well enough to return to a desk job at least, eh?). I would bet that her college is going to look into the student loans as well. In this economy, all that money is sorely needed by folks that are actually going to use it for their intended purpose.

The newborns though, I'll be surprised if all 8 are released to the mom. I'm certain CPS will monitor very, very carefully how the first few that go home do. They need to wait for her to fail. And they will. It would reflect very, very badly on them if one of those preemies died at home because she couldn't recognize their breathing troubles/illness/infection quickly enough because she was busy with the other 13. Who among us could care for 14 children under age 8, including 8 high-risk preemies? With no hired help or large family to support you?

They're better off being split up, sad as that might be.

That's great that you have witnessed some awesome foster homes. I never said there weren't any, in fact I said there were definitely some amazing ones. However, I do think it would be difficult to find loving homes for all of these children. Add to that the special challenges of some of them (two are on medicaid for special reasons, autism, etc.), and that will make it even more difficult. To add more fuel to the fire, these kids are now well-known. If this story doesn't bring out the crazies...

The whole thing is a no-win situation. Can you imagine if the grandmother only kept a few of the children. The rest of them will grow up knowing they weren't 'picked" to stay at home. The mom has put this family in a horrible place.