Nurses! Bad day.......

[dakcp2001]

I am a nursing student, and feeling really discouraged! I had my first day of clinical for this year and I am a mess. Right now I am wondering if I made the right decision to leave my job and go back to school! It is a 2 year program and I just started my second year, and -I may never get the hang of this! I do really well with book stuff, but in clinical I am TERRIFIED! I did an externship over the summer, and I learned a LOT! And at the end of the summer I was loving my job and thought that this is for sure exactly what I wanted to do. I was handling 4 patients on my own for the last month of summer. My Precepor did always do a final check to make sure I didn't do anything wrong or miss anything.

But then I get to clinical today, and the instructor and the nurse are busy doing there own thing and I fall apart and get totally nervous all over again! I cannot stand the constant feeling of self doubt and incompetence! I am afraid to do things, even if I think I know how. I just feel like I need someone to watch or check on what I do.

I had a patient with dementia today, and the first thing she did was tell me I was fat, and that I look pregnant (I am not, but how did she know? lol) After that she was actually quite pleasant all day. But that did nothing to help my confidence, that is for sure!

Were you this afraid when you were in school? What can I do to get over the fear? My instructor said I ask too many questions and that I need to be more independent, but she also told us we cannot do anything unless we have permission first. I cannot find the fine line between what is ok to just do, and what I need permission for. Today they asked me to care for someone with a chest tube, which I have not done before, so I had a LOT of questions. They said I was annoying them all day and that I should not have to ask. But I am afraid to hurt someone! Would it kill them to stay with me for a minute to make sure I am doing it properly?

So here I am at home, exhausted and filled with self doubt, second guessing everything I did today. I am just waiting to go in tomorow to hear what I did wrong. Little things are nagging at me, like what I could ahve forgotten or what I may have done wrong. I really need to get over this!! This is so stressful! I got home today thinking I may just finish up school just to finish, and then go back to my old job. I just need to make it through school! This needs to get better or it is going to be a very long year!

With all of the training I had this summer, I should not feel this way! This is what is making me think I may never get the hang of this!!!

 

[momrek06]

OP, are you in college for nursing? My DSis is a nurse, has a B.S. and an M.S. As I recall she did not even go into the hospital until she was in her Junior (3rd) year of college.

As far as a nursing career...my DSis makes some serious good money. She is a clinical nurse specialist in a big city hospital in Boston, MA. She grad from college in 1990. This appears to be a very recession proof career.

I would say hang in there. You will not regret it at all.

 

[KC-Disney]

Hang in there, each day will get a bit better. I have been a nurse for 20 years and believe me some days are better than others. Don't give up hope. think about why you decided to do this. Working with dementia residents is always challenging yet rewarding. You never know what comes out of there mouths, but that is also what can make them special. Don't take it personally.

 

[Goofycampers]

It is well known that nurses eat their young. Seriously, hang in there. The real world is waaay different than school. You'll do fine.

 

[Zeldy2]

Don't worry too much about this.
And I'll tell you something, last year I was in the same situation as you. Asking too much questions, not sure about myself even if I know how to do these things.

First thing i've learnt, NO ONE IS PERFECT!!! Your may make mistakes, and guess what? Even the best Nurses do! Don't worry too much about it, remember, you're doing this clinical to LEARN! SO that's just normal to make mistakes! Especially the fact that it's the beginning of your clinical. But don't take the life of the patient lightly eh!

Second thing i've learnt, BE CONFIDENT about what you're doing! If you did something and you double checked it, and you left it that way, this must be that it's allright. And even if it's not, you're not a nurse yet remember! You'Re still a student! So if you DO make a mistake, that's not the end of the world! Take it and say to yourself ''This won't happen again'' or something you're feeling well with ^^ You MUST take these mistakes as something that will help you to become better, NOT something that is meant to hurt you!

Last thing i'd say for you, is that you said that this summer you were okay, so why now you wouldn't be okay now? You're the same person aren't you? Just think about what you were doing then, and do the same thing!

And don't worry!!! Everything's going to be fine!

 

[AshleyW]

OP, are you in college for nursing? My DSis is a nurse, has a B.S. and an M.S. As I recall she did not even go into the hospital until she was in her Junior (3rd) year of college.

As far as a nursing career...my DSis makes some serious good money. She is a clinical nurse specialist in a big city hospital in Boston, MA. She grad from college in 1990. This appears to be a very recession proof career.

I would say hang in there. You will not regret it at all.

Your DSis probably went straight for her BSN and didn't get an ADN first, which is why she didn't get a jump start on the clinicals right away. It sounds like the OP is probably just getting her ADN, which is what I'm doing as well. My school is a 5 semester program.. 1st semester is practical nursing (all classroom), 2nd semester is PN courses + PN clinicals. After the 2nd semester you're eligible to get certified as an LPN. Then the last 3 semesters are RN classes, and we have RN clinicals in the 4th and 5th semesters. Okay, got a little OT, sorry.

OP, you'll get the hang of it. It's kind of like starting a new job.. the beginning is a little tricky until you figure out what you should be doing, and then it'll be smooth sailing for you.

 

[HOGFAN]

not a nurse but an xray tech. I was excellent at the book work but HORRIBLE at clinical. I tried various xray jobs and finally found my 'niche' in mammography. Hang with it, you may find your place too, whether it be in pediatrics,L&D, geriatrics, oncology, etc. good luck

 

[laurie31]

I felt like this all through school. Fortunately, I started working in a hospital my junior year, or I think I would have changed my major.

Then, after 2 years, I went back for my MSN and dang if I still didn't feel that way in clinicals. I was a competent confident nurse on my job, but let me do something where I'm getting graded and critiqued by an instructor and all that went out the window. It was terrible, seriously. Finally, my 3rd quarter I felt I knew enough about what I was doing to let my confidence show in clinicals. I don't know what it was about clinicals that unnerved me, but you are not alone. I'm sure you'll make a great nurse. Just hang in there!

 

[Disney Doll]

See bolded

I am a nursing student, and feeling really discouraged! I had my first day of clinical for this year and I am a mess. Right now I am wondering if I made the right decision to leave my job and go back to school! It is a 2 year program and I just started my second year, and -I may never get the hang of this! I do really well with book stuff, but in clinical I am TERRIFIED! I did an externship over the summer, and I learned a LOT! And at the end of the summer I was loving my job and thought that this is for sure exactly what I wanted to do. I was handling 4 patients on my own for the last month of summer. My Precepor did always do a final check to make sure I didn't do anything wrong or miss anything.

But then I get to clinical today, and the instructor and the nurse are busy doing there own thing I can understand the nurse being busy doing her own thing, but what "own thing" was the instructor doing??? Her "thing" should be monitoring her students! and I fall apart and get totally nervous all over again! I cannot stand the constant feeling of self doubt and incompetence! I am afraid to do things, even if I think I know how. I just feel like I need someone to watch or check on what I do.

I had a patient with dementia today, and the first thing she did was tell me I was fat, and that I look pregnant (I am not, but how did she know? lol) After that she was actually quite pleasant all day. But that did nothing to help my confidence, that is for sure! Well, I can only tell you that if I had a nickel for every time a patient called me a name, I wouldn't have to work! In all seriousness, when a patient says something insulting, I try and consider the source. I've had patients call me names where I literally have looked at them and said "I don't even know where on my body that is located, what you just called me!". My classic comeback to being called a b---- is "You say that like it's a bad thing", and then I give a little . Dementia....well, she probably didn't mean what she said or doesn't understand what she said. I tend to take what demented folks say with a grain of salt...they don't know.... Even non-demented patients, when they get nasty, aren't directing their anger at you personally, even if they are saying it TO you, they are directing their anger at their situation, they are scared, they are in a strange place, the whole experience stinks, they are frustrated...you get my drift.
Were you this afraid when you were in school? Yes What can I do to get over the fear? Keep plugging along and doing things so you gain confidence. My instructor said I ask too many questions and that I need to be more independent, but she also told us we cannot do anything unless we have permission first. I would ask her to clarify that. I would say "You say we can't do anything without permission and yet you tell me I ask too many questions. Can you clarify for me what you mean?". I cannot find the fine line between what is ok to just do, and what I need permission for. I would say that things you have successfully done in the past are probably OK and things you have not yet done are not. If I recall correctly, (and I graduated in 1983, so bear with me here), I had to have the professor watch me do skills and get "sigend off" on them, and then I could do them independently. Today they asked me to care for someone with a chest tube, which I have not done before, so I had a LOT of questions. They said I was annoying them all day and that I should not have to ask. Well, they are stupid to say that. Chets tubes are confusing and complicated for a "real" nurse...for a student, they are even moreso. I ask for a second set of eyes when I am doing chest tubes, and I have been at this for 26 years! But I am afraid to hurt someone! Would it kill them to stay with me for a minute to make sure I am doing it properly? No it owuld not and they should be there. I am kind of surprised that they were that lax as to not want to watch a student do chest tube care.So here I am at home, exhausted and filled with self doubt, second guessing everything I did today. You'll do that every day as a nurse. I am just waiting to go in tomorow to hear what I did wrong. Little things are nagging at me, like what I could ahve forgotten or what I may have done wrong. I really need to get over this!! This is so stressful! I got home today thinking I may just finish up school just to finish, and then go back to my old job. I just need to make it through school! This needs to get better or it is going to be a very long year!

With all of the training I had this summer, I should not feel this way! This is what is making me think I may never get the hang of this!!!You will.

Here's what I tell all the students I deal with...nursing is pretty much common sense with some scientific knowledge behind it. Your biggest challenge is to figure out a system to keep yourself organized. Every unit has some kind of "routine" or "flow" of work...even areas like the ER, where you wouldn't think there'd be any routine or predictability...but there is an ebb and flow to everyone's workday, regardless of where you practice.

A previous poster said something about nurses eating their young. I don't think that's exclusive to nursing...I've heard some horror stories about other professions too. But, the bottom line is that nursing is a tough job. It is not for the faint of heart, because you deal with the public and the public can be very nasty, so you need to develop a thick skin. Doctors that you deal with are going to be difficult too...lots of ego there...so you need to have a confident demeanor. The patient will feed off of what they sense you are feeling...if you appear over-whelmed, the patient will have a bad day. If you appear confident, the patient will have a good day. So, what others may call "eating their young" serves a purpose. Now, there's a difference between not coddling and being downright mean to someone, but truly reflect on what the professor and the nurse said....were they trying to tell you "Go ahead, you know this stuff, go do it" or were they being actually mean? I wasn't there, you were, but I am just giving you another perspective. I am sure I have had some students who thought I was mean when really thinking was "In 8 months you are going to be a nurse, so we have to get you out there and get you moving" and sometimes a little toughlove is what does it. Or they could both be b----es, in which case it's good for you to learn how to deal with that too!

Good luck...you will get through this, and for all the aggravations of nursing, it is a really cool job when you really help someone....

 

[Disneylover79]

is what you need right now... I am an RN with my MSN and hoping to take boards in the next few weeks for my NP...I work in the SICU and I love it....

I did feel like you when I was in school and I still get those feelings today...I was told to go in like you had done it a millions times (even if you have never seen what you are going to do)...You will be fine and you will be a great nurse....as far as your instructor and the nurse you were working with, they need to realize that you are still IN SCHOOL... and that you still need to be helped with many things (which is normal)...I don't think that is appropraite of your instructor... you should always ALWAYS ask if you don't know...if you don't ask then you will do harm to a patient... even when you are a nurse for 20 years you will still ask questions...take a deep breath and try and get a good nights sleep and go in there tomorrow with your head held high.... you will be fine....

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions and I will try to help you

 

[nicolita3]

Hang in there! I had days were I cry the second I stepped into my car, I was a wreck! When the teachers would watch me do something like injections or what not I would shake uncontrollably, the second they would leave it would stop. Now I am fine, just hang in there!

 

[Buckalew11]

Good advice to you here. I'm not a nurse but my DH is in nursing school so I always read the nursing threads.

I esp. liked DD's advice to you but I always like DD's advice to everyone on most every subject!
You're dealing with serious issues and people's lives. I just deal with their hair. however, I remember when I started working in a big fancy hair salon 26 years ago. I had moments of panic and "can I do thins?!" and "your trusting me to cut your hair from the middle of your back into a pixie??!!" It was very intimidating, I'm a perfectionist and will replay a haircut over and over also.
One of the tricks I would play with my confidence was to "pretend" I was somebody in the business that I admired and wanted to work like. I did it as a kid when I played basketball in school also. it was a coping mechanism I taught myself and used (I would pretend to be my older sister who played ball and was very good) Forwhatever reason, it helped me...a lot. Later, I read it in a book as advice for situations where you find yourself doubting yourself and wondering about your skills. Of course, nowadays, I pretend I'm me. lol But, if you know a nurse you admire and want to work like, maybe you might try it. It worked for me twice. I think it just gives you a different attitude or something...

Best wishes to you. You sound like you'll be a nurse who tries to always do her best and give her patients wonderful care.

 

[npmommie]

It will get better, I promise it will!!!
the real world of nursing is nothing like nursing school. Nursing school is kind of like hazing in a sorority.

but seriously, where was your instructor?? they should be available at all times for any amount of questions you have, that is what they are there for!! there are never too many questions, if you need to ask you ask. or you look it up, or you ask someone to show you.

I remember my first day of clinical I was a bag of nerves, but by the end you will feel more confident, and when you get done and pass your boards and get your first job, you will see that it gets better, and you will have the confidence!

 

[Judy from Boise]

In many ways nursing is a "see one, do one, teach one" profession. That is why it is so important to learn principles and not "rote procedure". You will always need to do your best in new situations based on what you know of everything you have studied. That is why the "reasonable and prudent nurse" is the standard to which we are held....because every minute can be different. That is where judgement and critical thinking come in. It will obviously get easier with time....but the need to constantly learn and try new things will not go away..this is why nurses tend to be strong and confident people.

 

[dakcp2001]

I am reAlly glad I started this thread, beacuse I really needed to read this support this am. I tossed and turned all night, I didn't sleep at all.Got up with a headache and sick to my stomach. Little nagging things kept popping into my head that I forgot to do all night. I am certain I will hear about them today. I am like really really nervous to go for day 2. Things could either go one way- I hear nothing and realize all the worry was for nothing and then hopefully not have a night like this each week, or two- hear all the things did wrong and then have a night like this every week. I just hating all thE second guessing and feeling of incompetence.

But your support definately came at the right time! There are so many girls in my class with the "fake it til you make it mentality" and frankly that scares the heck out of me. Wouldn't want them taking care of my mom!

 

[jaminmd]

I am a nursing student, and feeling really discouraged! I had my first day of clinical for this year and I am a mess. Right now I am wondering if I made the right decision to leave my job and go back to school! It is a 2 year program and I just started my second year, and -I may never get the hang of this! I do really well with book stuff, but in clinical I am TERRIFIED! I did an externship over the summer, and I learned a LOT! And at the end of the summer I was loving my job and thought that this is for sure exactly what I wanted to do. I was handling 4 patients on my own for the last month of summer. My Precepor did always do a final check to make sure I didn't do anything wrong or miss anything.

But then I get to clinical today, and the instructor and the nurse are busy doing there own thing and I fall apart and get totally nervous all over again! I cannot stand the constant feeling of self doubt and incompetence! I am afraid to do things, even if I think I know how. I just feel like I need someone to watch or check on what I do.

I had a patient with dementia today, and the first thing she did was tell me I was fat, and that I look pregnant (I am not, but how did she know? lol) After that she was actually quite pleasant all day. But that did nothing to help my confidence, that is for sure!

Were you this afraid when you were in school? What can I do to get over the fear? My instructor said I ask too many questions and that I need to be more independent, but she also told us we cannot do anything unless we have permission first. I cannot find the fine line between what is ok to just do, and what I need permission for. Today they asked me to care for someone with a chest tube, which I have not done before, so I had a LOT of questions. They said I was annoying them all day and that I should not have to ask. But I am afraid to hurt someone! Would it kill them to stay with me for a minute to make sure I am doing it properly?

So here I am at home, exhausted and filled with self doubt, second guessing everything I did today. I am just waiting to go in tomorow to hear what I did wrong. Little things are nagging at me, like what I could ahve forgotten or what I may have done wrong. I really need to get over this!! This is so stressful! I got home today thinking I may just finish up school just to finish, and then go back to my old job. I just need to make it through school! This needs to get better or it is going to be a very long year!

With all of the training I had this summer, I should not feel this way! This is what is making me think I may never get the hang of this!!!

I bolded the above because even nurses who've been working for years still have days like this. You go home after 12 + hours & think to yourself "Did I remember to give..." and wind up calling work to see if you forgot to do x, y or z. It happens to all of us.

FWIW, as a student, there aren't that many important things that you should be doing without the direct observation of an instructor, so you probably are letting your anxiety overrule your rational worries.

Don't be afraid to ask questions if you're concerned. You're a student, you're learning & you're supposed to ask. I've been doing this for 21 years & I still ask questions. Perhaps your instructor needs to brush up on her people skills if she's making you feel bad for asking.

Hang in there. Once you graduate and gain experience, there are many types of nursing. You'll find what suits you.

 

[dakcp2001]

Thanks guys for all of the support! I was a mess! lol.

Today was SO much better! When I arrived they told me my patient had been asking for me all night, and when I got in, she was very pleasant and much more lucid today! (she has dementia) And her family got me a card So even though yesterday was an awful day, she and her family thought I did ok I guess.

And today I worked with a different nurse, and at the end of the day my instructor said I did a good job!

I just want each week to get a little better!

 

[dissybroad]

there you go! also been nursing for years but i remember those days in clinical rotation and my first six months on the job, aaarrrgghhh. ask for extra help and support when you need it, bone up on stress management skills to help you over the rough patches. it does get better but we all hold ourselves to high standards and that's what makes us special!