Nowadays, when should teens start dating?

[golfgal]

Most of our kids' friends (and our kids) have done group dates in 7th and 8th grade, mostly meeting a bunch of kids at the movie theater. They are in 9th grade this year and I would be ok with them going on single dates to a movie or dance since a parent would have to take them there and pick them up. Once they are 16 they will be allowed to go on single, car dates. DS14 and one of his friends were going to take the two young ladies they are interested in golfing the other week, I was ok with that too.

 

[JoiseyMom]

13 is too young. Our DD is 13, and she is not into boys yet. There is an 8th grade dance this year, if a boy asks her, I am sure DH will say NOOOOOOO. He is very over protective, but then so am I. Her older brother says he will chaparone!! LOL.

DD knows that 13 is too young to have a real boyfriend. My DN13 claims she has one..but since he lives at least 1/2 hour away..I have no idea how that works.

I am not sure what age we will allow her to date..I am going to play it by ear with how mature she seems and the boy.

 

[golfgal]

13 is too young. Our DD is 13, and she is not into boys yet. There is an 8th grade dance this year, if a boy asks her, I am sure DH will say NOOOOOOO. He is very over protective, but then so am I. Her older brother says he will chaparone!! LOL.

DD knows that 13 is too young to have a real boyfriend. My DN13 claims she has one..but since he lives at least 1/2 hour away..I have no idea how that works.

I am not sure what age we will allow her to date..I am going to play it by ear with how mature she seems and the boy.

For most kids this age having a boyfriend means they sit by each other at lunch and maybe text each other more often. If they go to a dance they will probably meet there, not a "I'll pick you up at 8" kind of dance. DD14 has had 3 "boyfriends" and DS14 has had 4 girlfriends. So far DS14 has gone to 2 movies with 10 other friends where his "girlfriend" also went and DD went over to one boyfriend's house to watch a football game with his family and a bunch of friends. That was pretty much the extent of their 'dating' in middle school.

 

[PatsGirl]

I think 14 or a freshman in high school is a great age to get out there and go to the movies or meet at the mall for fast food, that sort of thing (read: in public, lol). Going out with someone in their car, 1 on 1, maybe 16 would be more appropriate? I don't know either but DD just entered 7th grade and will soon turn 13 so my dilemma begins soon as well

 

[IDoDis]

13 is too young. Our DD is 13, and she is not into boys yet. There is an 8th grade dance this year, if a boy asks her, I am sure DH will say NOOOOOOO. He is very over protective, but then so am I. Her older brother says he will chaparone!! LOL.

DD knows that 13 is too young to have a real boyfriend. My DN13 claims she has one..but since he lives at least 1/2 hour away..I have no idea how that works.

I am not sure what age we will allow her to date..I am going to play it by ear with how mature she seems and the boy.

I know my DD does not consider her relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend. I used the term "boyfriend" in quotes by me to show that that's not really what it is. Also, the term "going out" is not what you and I refer to the term "going out". They've never even held hands. She went to the movies with him one time with her brother on a Saturday afternoon to see a rated PG movie (Bandslam). After the movie I picked my kids up. I would not consider that a date when compared to going out alone in a car.

 

[minkydog]

He's a freshman, also. I just thought maybe she should start with a parent being there. Her dad thinks it's ok to be droppd off at the movies with dad driving and picking up in 2 hours. I wanted to start smaller like going to a school dance or function with other adults, or taking out to dinner with parents or the mall.

Do you really think they are going to want to go on a date with her parents? Is your daughter a "bad girl"? Is this boy a "bad boy"? In other words, is there some reason that you are suspicious about this proposed date?

Unless your daughter has proved untrustworthy in the past, i think you're over-reacting. It's just a movie date. They're going to watch the movie and they might kiss! Oh, the horrors!

I had my first date when I was 14. By dating, I mean I held hands, went to the movies, sat together in church, and let him carry my books to class. I didn't do the dirty until I was over 21. We allowed my DD16 to date when she was 14, also. She has dated 3-4 boys, all in brief stints. Frankly, she's far to busy with dance, show choir, Latin 3, and theater to get very involved.

If you are really very concerned about this, tell your daughter to invite this boy to come over to the house for 30 minutes or so a few days before the movie date. You can visit, ask him all the questions you want, serve a little coke and pizza , then let them sit out on the porch and talk(without you!)

That way you'll have a good description of him if you have to call the police.

 

[of the seas]

She's not a "bad girl" and as far as I know, he is not a "bad boy". It just the fact that I went from no interest in boys that much to being "in love" in about a month of school. It just caught me off guard. When I think back to when I was a teen, I could not be alone with a boy until I was 16. But, as I have been told time have changed! So I don't want to seem too over protective, but I don't want to let her do whatever she wants either.

 

[Monte Cristo]

16 for anything outside of school.

 

[dicar123]

My son is only 11 and I hate, hate, hate the "girlfriend" thing.

But I would allow adult pick up and drops off dates beginning in high school.

Here is my concern about the "not until 16 rule". 16 year old girls will be dating 16 year old boys who have cars. I don't think I would want my daughter's first experience alone with a boy to be in his car going God knows where.

Given how "forward" I've heard some girls can be, I have the same concern about my sweet, precious, innocent little baby boy.

 

[Buckalew11]

We only faced this once and it was in 8th grade and we were going to allow it and so was his mom. However, his dad threw a fit and said no and that was the end of that. Of course, the mother said to me, "I hate they like each other now--they are so young. They probably won't end up getting married." Uh...yikes!!!

At 15, it hasn't come up but it will, soon enough. I wasn't allowed to car date alone "in a car, with a boy" until I was 16. Actually, I was the last of 3 girls and I sweet talked my way into getting to date in Dec. before my Feb. b-day. However, before that, I did the group date type thing, went with his parents, my sister and her DH, and youth group. I was far too young for all that when it started. But, I like the boy(s) and my parents trusted me. Let's just say that kids can fool you. They can, in fact, fool everyone. LOL

 

[::Snow_White::]

I'm 16 and I think that would probably be the appropriate age. (Although I'm still not dating and don't plan to for awhile. )

I remember being 13/14 and I thought that was too young, but I know 8 year olds who are dating! I think it just depends on how you feel about it. Good luck!

 

[minkydog]

I remember being 13/14 and I thought that was too young, but I know 8 year olds who are dating!

Now THAT I would have a problem with!

 

[aprilgail2]

I don't think there is any way I could have my daughter not date until she was 16- she will be a senior in high school at 16 ! Just doesn't seem reasonable to not let her date until she is in 12th grade! I think 14 would be about right.