It all depends. Are you drinking a diet soda or at least a light beer? Are you THINKING about exercising?
See, your body has to digest the diet soda, so while the soda has no calories, your body uses calories to make you pee the soda: this is what allows you to eat the buffet without losing your girlish figure.
As for the exercise, people don't realize, but the act of procrastinating BURNS calories! Why, just THINKING about exercising is an ACT of will, and we all know that acts burn calories!
And don't you worry none about spankin' your kids - it's a family activity that involves aerobic exercise on the part of you and your kids, so not only are you taking care of your own health, but that of your kids! What a good dad!