Not excited...please help!

[leebee]

Hi- DD and I have AP's so this is our 3rd trip since Jan '04. Had a marvellous vacation with DD and DH in June, he had a FITS so he could "act" like he had an AP also, since he wouldn't let me buy him one (he wasn't on the Jan trip either). DH doesn't really understand why DD and I love WDW so much, and this is the actual root of the problem...anyhow, last Sept. I found RT airfare from Bangor Maine to MCO for $126pp...this is unheard of and I've been wanting to go to WDW at Christmas, so DH said "buy the airfare". Trip is planned for 12/8-12/15, and MIL from Cleveland is coming also (good thing, love my MIL a whole bunch!). Anyhow, now DH is sulking about "ANOTHER trip to Disney World" and told me two days ago that he's thinking about not going. Yes, I know he is probably going to be a sulky wet blanket the whole time we are in FL, kinda why I suggested inviting his mom (we're paying for her airfare and the condo, she'll buy her park pass and meals). Now I wish I'd listened to my inner good sense when he said to buy the airfare and only purchased two tickets, for DD and myself. She is 11 and we've done the "girl's trip" many times. Anyhow, can't decide if I want DH to come along or not, but it is making me very depressed, can't seem to work up any enthusiasm for the trip, even with CP pkg ressies, MVMCP (didn't get tix yet, waiting for DH to make a decision), maybe even a Princess storybook b'fast. So now I'm depressed that I'm depressed, planning is usually such a blast. Looking for some excitement and not finding much right now...

 

[MelanieC]

Hi there,

Some people just don't get that same "excitement" and I know that it's tough that it's DH! MY DH Loves Disney, but not like me. Ever since we firsted started coming to Disney, I somehow figured out how to keep convincing him to come back. We have been to WDW almost every year (except when Pregnant with DS7). Sometimes before he committs to go he acts like I do not want to go AGAIN. Somehow though, he gets excited before going. DH is actually giving a countdown each morning before giving me a kiss before he heads out to work. I can tell he is excited again. He also said he didn't want to go down again next year because he wants to go back in 96 for the new ride at AK. Until I told him that AP's were only $46 more than a Stars and Stripes 9 day pass. Now we are booking our hotel for next year already.

Just keep convincing him to go and the magic will or should hit him eventually. Just remind him that your DD will only be this age for a few more years. The way I look at it, DH and I can do other vacations that are not as kid friendly when the kids are older and out of the house. Now that our kids are still wanting to go (DS7 & DD12), I can't imagine a better family vacation. Our kids pick Disney every time over another vacation.

I hope he comes around, but try not to let it ruin your trip. Try to convince him since he paid for airfare to go. What if you give him a choice to do something he wants to do while he is there? Plus, tell him that the decorations (like Osbourne family of lights) are so incredible, that he will have so much Christmas spirit when he returns home. I personally can't imagine not wanting to GO on a vacation. I love vacations no matter where they are.

 

[ErinInCT]

Can you let him go golf one day? My dh would be thrilled if I let him do something he wanted to do. I think my dh gets a bit sick of the Princess stuff (2 dd's) & wishes for something a bit more manly!! Plus who would not want to leave ME in Dec??? (No offense!)

 

[iluvepcot]

My husband calls me a disney nut. I go on the boards and look for tips and enjoy planning almost as much as going. We seem to average 11 to 12 months for the last 3 years. In my opinion this is not enough, as they are often quick 4 day trips. This year I purchased an AP for myself and the kids and we went with my sister's family. I thought we would also go again with DH, thus the AP's. Now my DH is complaining he does not want to go again for a while, at least two years he says. My question is how do others get the non disney spouse to agree, get excited, etc.? Once he is there he has a good time. He just hates to talk about it, hear about it, and it is pulling teeth to get the trip done as he constantly complaines about going. Help me please. I want to try to go March and maybe one more time, since I have an AP good until next Oct. I don't want it to come to Disney or Divorce! (just kidding, not that bad).

 

[mansionfan]

Take your DH down to the Disney West Side. Plenty of cool resturaunts and stuff to do (Disney Quest). Maybe Planet Hollywood or House of Blues for dinner. There is more to Disney than the Theme Parks and this may grab his interest maybe. Good Luck!!!

 

[tarheelmjfan]

You know your DH better than anyone. Some people just don't get excited about going to WDW no matter how much you try. I can tell if my DH is going to be happy and cooperative when I'm planning the trip. His attitude doesn't normally change when the day gets closer, or after we get there. We went once when I could tell that he really didn't want to, and I said, "never again", but I personally wouldn't go without him either. That's me, if you enjoy going with the girls, then go for it. This year I asked for the trip for my Christmas gift, and I could tell right away that we were not going to have a magical trip. I decided that I wanted to go, and I wanted us all to enjoy the trip. I've planned only 3 days at the WDW parks, and the other 8 doing other things. I've also planned for some alone time for the 2 of us. Now he is starting to become more cooperative, and looking forward to the trip too. Sometimes you need to make concessions, so everyone's happy. Ask your DH, if there is anything else in Orlando he would like to do. Also, see if you can't get your MIL to keep your daughter, and let him help you plan some things for just the 2 of you. I hope he comes around.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

Would he be interested in the race track thing? I agree to try to plan something special just for him.

My DH "put his foot down" the last time I wanted to use our AP the year we had them. He was like "no way do I want to go again!" So the kids I went without him! He stayed home and went to work. I don't think he thought I would really do it, you'd think after all these years he'd know better! Anyway when we got home he suggested that we all go back for 1 more short trip before the passes ran out. I think he spent a lot of time that week we were gone thinking about how fun it really is, lesson learned for him!

 

[DisneyKidds]

If your DH can't find something he enjoys doing at WDW than I'd also bet he'd have a hard time finding his pulse!!!

Seriously, maybe it's time to adjust your time at WDW a little to find and do some things that he might enjoy more.

Let him golf or drive while you guys are at the parks. Let him relax at the resort. If he likes to eat have some nicer meals. There really is something for everyone at WDW and you just need to find his something.

 

[PratersloveDW]

Geesh!!! I think we all may need to take a trip and let the husbands stay behind...or come and just golf. We can all go have fun with Mickey together. My DH enjoys Disney. He really gets into when we are there and before we leave. However, he, as many of your DH's, thinks I am too obsessed with Disney. I try to explain to him that there is no such thing.

The main thing, however, is just not to let it bring down a wonderful trip. You are going to have so much fun with your MIL, DD and Mickey. If your DH goes, that would be great but so long as he doesn't sulk the entire time and bring down everyone else. If you think he might do this, then maybe it would be best for everyone to leave him home. It makes coming home that much better...you have something to look forward too!

 

[Rhonna]

This isn't a specific comment to the OP, but a general observation.

One breed of men don't seem to like the constant talking, planning, being asked questions by the DW, etc. But they enjoy the actual trip.

My Dad was like that. Thankfully, he'd let mom plan it all out and go along and then when he came back it was "Oh, we did this and this..." to family and friends. But if you brought up the subject before the trip he'd be a wet blanket about it. Also thankfully, mom wasn't the kind of woman that needed to talk about it alot with him.

Alot of men don't like the planning. They appreciate all the leg work their DW's do and they like to reap the benefits. Kind of like planning a wedding "You know what you want already honey, just make the plans and let me show up."

If you know the DH's likes/dislikes, do the planning, include something you know he would like (as others recommended, golf? the Richard Petty Driving Experience? parasailing? sea raycers? etc...) tell him about the special arrangements for the special activities you have in mind for him. But find a friend or someone else to talk about all the little details with so it doesn't drive the DH nuts. I know, not fun for the DW but maybe a good way to keep peace and for everyone to enjoy the experience.

Of course, this wouldn't apply with the men who just don't enjoy the trip even when they are there.

 

[tjmw2727]

My dh isn't a big disney fan like my dd's and I are so we usually take one trip a year without him. The trips we do with him he dosen't really get excited for either but has a great time when we are actually at WDW. I make sure and plan some downtime including afternoons at the resort and an evening at the BW. I also make sure we pick a resort he will enjoy spending time at alone or 1-1 with one of the kids. He has no problem joining us later in the parks or leaving early if he has had enough and we have not. Lots of compromise and letting go of my "commando" style we try and relax and enjoy our time together.

Last trip we stayed at AKL and had a truly wonderful vacation.

Don't get discouraged if DH isn't into the planning or talking about the vacation as you are. I am sure you know him well enough to plan things you will all enjoy. When the time comes just enjoy the time together with no work, laundry cooking etc.

TJ

 

[off to neverland]

I notice my husband likes Disney and loved our last trip, but like a previous poster mentioned, just isn't into the planning. I've been trying to plan when he isn't around and not constantly talk about it. It's really hard, but I'm trying. And I'm taking all the suggestions above and plan on scheduling some fun grown up activities. My husband would be thrilled just to be able to sit in the movie theater and watch a double feature. He never has time to go to the movies when we are home.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

My husband was really never much of a Disney nut (grew up 2 miles from Disneyland and could see the fireworks from his house).

He's been a good sport for during the 4 Disney trips that we took as a family. Those trips were not enough for me and I've gone a couple times without him, with 2 more trips in the works, also without him.

My DH and I went to WDW last month, just the two of us. I planned things with him in mind, we didn't do early entry, we went places in the evening, and we took breaks every afternoon. Basically his kind of trip.

He now things WDW is a pretty neat place and really saw a different side of it and I know he'd like to go back. I think that he'd like to go without the kids again, though. He was talking about the next trip being to Universal, which would be fine with me.

T&B

 

[Minky]

Rhonna, thats so funny, my DH is EXACTLY like that.

I ask, " Do you want to do the Luau?"...whatever you want, he says
I say, " Where would you like to stay?"...(groan)wherever you want he says
Sooooooooo, I just go ahead and make all the plans...and bite my tongue not to talk about it as much as possible (thats what I come here 4) and I use all the great info I find here to plan really neat things for us to do and he has a BLAST when we get there. Thanks to this site I had a chance to learn about little things and shows that I knew HE would enjoy. We go to Disney A LOT, but I have something new for us to do each time...and he loves it.

 

[Rhonna]

Minky,

I take after my mom and LOVE to travel and do all the planning. My sister takes after our dad and she prefers I do most of the planning (although she isn't quite as bad as dad) and then she enjoys the trip. So, I guess it isn't necessarily a gender thing.

To OP: maybe a tour would be a nice idea. Behind the scenes stuff, the MK railroad tour. Guys usually like to know how things work (mechanically minded) plus, it gives them an ego boost of feeling like they know more than the average guest.

 

[cmonroe]

and from the sounds of it, I must be a loon. I would go to WDW twice per year if I could. We do not have the finances to alllow that (sad, but blessed we can go). We are only able to go about once every two years. I do all of the planning, ressies, PS's, etc. My wife does the packing. I'd say take me, but I don't think she'd let me go without her and the kids (j/k).