nosey question for stay at home moms!

[lynetteSC]

Ok, recently found out that we may be adopting a newborn soon! Yea!!!!!! The baby is due Oct 1st. It will probably be a few weeks before homestudy and few other things are completed that will tell us if indeed this will happen.

We have waited/been trying for 10years to have a baby. Would LOVE to stay at home, but this whole thing kinda happened out of the blue (read ... not at timing we planned, but certainly not complaining!)


Anyway, I was just wondering what you did to prepare to go to only one income. Are there things you have/do sacrificed to make it work? Anything you would do differently if you did it over? Anyone start doing a business from home either full or part time to make ends meet????

Thanks bunches for any and all advice!!!
Oh, and a extra prayer or pixie dust wish would be greatly appreciated

**** UPDATE: We did not get the baby I mentioned in this old post, but we are now matched with a birthmom who is due in May. I just gave my "notice" at work last week. I am lucky enough to be able to work from home p-t after the baby arrives. However, it will be a big adjustment only having commission, not a base salary too. Just curious if anyone has any new advice! Thanks! Sorry to bring up old posts, but these are great ideas I didn't want to leave out!

 

[damo]

That's wonderful news! Congratulations. I'm a SAHM and have been for 17 years now. There are many, many things that you can do without to make it easier to stay at home. Many women I know also take in children to help supplement their incomes, or do part time work so they can at least stay home part time.
Stop eating out and cut down on entertainment costs including alcohol and cigarettes. Those alone have a big effect (well depending on your present lifestyle)

Good luck and hopefully you will be able to choose a path that works well for your family!

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

I quit after our second one was born to be a SAHM. Another one of my friends had quit her career to be a SAHM also, and she recommeded the book "Women Leaving the Workplace" by Larry Burkett. It has awesome advice! It also has strong religious overtones. If that is not your thing, I still recommend the book. The practical advice is still great.

Good luck, and I hope everything works out for you guys!

PS. My youngest is now 21 months. She is currently enrolled in a pre-school program that has the same hours as my oldest (8-4). I will be starting a part time, work from home job in September, only working the hours that the girls are in school. Best of both worlds to me!!

 

[Princess_Aurora]

I'm a SAHM but I never had to quit a job since I never had one. We have been struggling a bit since we bought a house. Actually, I've been going to school to become a court reporting so I will be working soon.

The way we have survived is living with only one car. It doesn't make me very happy that I can't get in a car and go somewhere when I need to, but it saves us a car payment and extra gas.

I did try a work from home think (Internet Treasure Chest) but it turned out to be a ripoff.

Staying at home has definately has it's advantages and disadvantages, but I think the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages

 

[jel0511]

I actually was planning on going back to work after I became pregnant with my first. My company then was part of a merger and was going to move to a new state. Since we didn't want to move, I was able to "elect" to be laid off. I was employed until my maternity leave ended, and then received a hefty severence package. I was also allowed to receive unemployment, so I decided I would stay home for a year and then look for a job, since the unemployment and severence would cover at least a year salary and we wouldn't even feel it. So, that's what I did, but after 8 months DH and I talked about it and decided I would stay home. He really wanted me to stay home, and I did too after those 8 months, I couldn't imagine leaving my DD with anyone else!! So, we moved out to the burbs and bought a house with the remainder of my severence as the downpayment. I'm lucky that DH makes a GREAT salary and we never struggled with the decision. We live a good life, and really haven't had to live without. If I did ever go back to work, all it would pay for would be a more extravagent house (mine is pretty big already), more extravagent vacations (we already take two per year), just more stuff. We really don't need that stuff and are fine with everything as it is. Do we sometimes wish we had more, sure, but we know we already have a lot more than most so we just are content to be where we are.

 

[chell]

Don't have any info to offer you. Just wanted to say hi and yeah about how things are moving along for you. Hope you get your homestudy out of the way real quickly!

 

[Pembo]

All I can tell you is if you stay at home, you'll be on the DIS alot when the baby naps.

Good luck with the adoption process.

 

[peg2001]

I hope you don't mind me adding my post. I am not a SAHM but DH is a SAHD so we have the same issues as far as getting along on one salary. Here's some things we do:

1. no cable, we get along with just the TV stations we can pick up with rabbit ears
2. no long distance service, we use a call-around service to avoid the monthly minimum charges
3. minimize eating out, we really struggle with this one as neither of us likes to cook but eating out is VERY expensive over time
4. bare bones internet service ($10 per month)
5. $10 limit on birthday gifts for all the parties our children are invited to. Once they are in pre-school, there are so many parties that gifts can get very expensive.
6. plan and save for vacations a year or two in advance
7. use family or trade off babysitting with adult friends who have kids, no paying a babysitter
8. make use of the local library, great entertainment/education value
9. before every major purchase, ask ourselves "do we need this?" "do we need it NOW or can it wait?"
10. buy kids clothes at Walmart or on sale at the better stores (Gymboree rotates their clothes so frequently I would never pay full price there, wait a few weeks and get the same clothes on sale)

It can be done. Congratulations on the new baby and good luck on your new life!

Peggy

 

[lynetteSC]

Thanks guys for all the ideas! The place I work (travel agency) has alot of "outside sales" people, so I am hoping they will let me do that! Even with that , we would have some adjustment time since I would be only commision no salary. I think with few changes we can make it work. Our biggest expense is eating out. It is just the 2 of us, so just as easy to grab something out than cook at home. That will be the first thing to change! :
Let me know if you have anymore suggestions!
Thanks bunches!!!

 

[Cindy B]

Oh, lets see what have I sacrified as a SAHM

Well, we lived on one cash car.. no car payments
We sold our home, and lived in a rent controlled rental home
for almost four years.

Those to me are the most radical.

I have read, re read, and re read again the TWG. Tightwad Gazeette, Vol. I-III Amy Decyczyn many times at the library.. obtain it and read it.. it will be your guide.

Also use your local library for a source to obtain current movies as well.. cost $1-2 or even FREE compared to $4-5 at Blockbuster.

Shop clearance racks only for clothes if you must buy new. If not, thrift stores, exchange stores (love exchange stores!), yard sales, and other arenas have different perspectives on buying clothes.

As you will have a newborn or an infant... you will have minimal feeding costs. I say that, since you aren't nursing, you will use formula. Ask the pediatricians office for samples of formula. I got an entire case once (6 huge powdered cans) just by asking for samples. (They were very generous to me!)

No eating out! Yes, a pain, but so worth it on the long run.

As for grocery.. I go early and get the meat marked down. I go as the buther/fish guy is coming in for the day, usually after 8 am. I get them, and depending on the date, cook it right away or freeze. I bought about a months worth of meat for about $20 this way two weeks ago.

I also make some things on my own. Things like strombolis..indian food, thai food, and the like. so if I have a craving, I make it cheaper than eating out.

I do incentives/survey sites for extra income. I sell (not buy) on Ebay as well.

 

[mtemm]

This is the advice I just gave a friend of mine. As of now, start living on just your husband's income (or the wife's if the husband will be staying home). You will do 2 things this way.

1) You will see immediately whether or not you can, and what you need to do to be able to continue it.

2) Every dime of that second income goes right into savings, so that's a nice little cushion.

Good luck!!!!

 

[Cindy B]

Originally posted by mtemm
This is the advice I just gave a friend of mine. As of now, start living on just your husband's income (or the wife's if the husband will be staying home). You will do 2 things this way.

1) You will see immediately whether or not you can, and what you need to do to be able to continue it.

2) Every dime of that second income goes right into savings, so that's a nice little cushion.

Good luck!!!!

I can;t believe I forgot that. I do work part time in the school system as a teachers aide.

No, I don't get rich, but it is flexible. I found other flexible work arrangements even with two small children. We put every dime I made into savings... that savings enabled us for closing costs for a home that we bought.

 

[CEDmom]

Congratulations on the pending adoption. Our DD is adopted from China. While DH and I had an idea about when we would be parents the specific date came quicker than we had anticipated. I don't know who your employer is but have you considered working part-time? Once we brought DD home I new I didn't want to go back full time but I just couldn't cope with trying to live on one income and the stress this would put on DH. My employer is family friendly and allowed me to go limited hour. I now work 3 days a week which I think is a good situation for all of us. Don't sweat the homestudy; best of luck to you

 

[mtemm]

another thing, if you have the time and the interest. My sister is a SAHM to her girl and boy. She had a very challenging career, but with the second one ended up in a situation much like jel0511 and decided to not look for another job.

She started selling her daugter's out-grown clothes on e-baby. Quickly learned which name-brands sold for the highest amount, so that is what she bought for her daughter. Not only that, but she usually was able to buy them at sales, at TJMaxx, Marshalls, etc, for CHEAPER than she'd sell them on ebay for. Didn't take long before she was just buying the stuff, not necessarily for her daughter, but to sell on ebay. Now, she has told me this does not work with boys clothes, but people dress their girls up all the time and tend to spend more on them, etc.

She's been able to supplement their income tax-free, even financed 2 trips to WDW. Not to mention that she essentially clothes her daughter for free.

Its funny, being the financial genius she is (her chosen career path) she has spreadsheets going showing all of her costs/profits/etc. Its quite a little buisiness, actually. She does devote some time to this, and one of the spare rooms looks like a mailing center, but she loves it, it makes her happy, and it makes her money.

Just a thought in case your baby is a girl and you have some interest.

 

[Kermit]

There have been a lot of good books listed here, but I don't think I've seen Miserly Moms. I just finished that, and it's great. It has a lot of practical solutions. I enjoy reading The Tightwad Gazette, but a lot of its suggestions are over the top. Like she enjoys dumpster diving. Miserly Moms is more for people who don't like to save money just because it's fun.

If eating out is your biggest drain on your income, then you should definitely look into freezer cooking. That means spending one or two weekends a month filling your freezer up with meals. That way, when you're tired and tempted to order out, you can just pull dinner out of the freezer. Plus, it's a great way to have more time for the baby anyway. There are lots of cookbooks about freezer cooking. Check your library. I have Once-a-Month Cooking. It's okay, but I think that there are others that are better.

Remember to consider how much it costs you to work. If you don't work, you won't need clothes that are nearly as nice. You won't eat lunch out. You won't have to get take out as often. You'll be able to shop at different grocery stores to get the best sales. I haven't read the Larry Burkette book, but it should really get into that because that was one of his big things. (He passed away earlier this month. )

And most of all, congratulations!!! I'm so excited for you!

 

[lynetteSC]

CEDmom - China was actually our 1st choice We had a relative who lived in China for awhile (while her dh worked for an american company). Anyway, she volunteered at an orphanage while she was there. The stories she emailed us were incredible, so we knew we had to do China if we did adopt.

This situation kinda fell into our laps about 2 weeks ago. So, we are going with the flow

 

[peg2001]

Originally posted by mtemm
She's been able to supplement their income tax-free

I wouldn't flaunt this. The IRS would expect their share from any income.

Peggy

 

[lynetteSC]

mtemm- LOL! It is funny you mentioned EBAY. A friend of mine works at a BIG Goodwill store. She says there is one particular lady who comes in everyday to see whats new and usually buys and sells it on EBAY. Said she made enough to stay at home with her child!

 

[mtemm]

Its funny what people will pay for things on ebay, too. I remember a couple of years ago when I was first getting into tae bo, I checked out ebay for tapes first. Then I checked the official tae bo site. Get this, the tapes on ebay were selling for more than if you bought them right from Billy! LOL! People just don't do their research sometimes. I came close to buying some extra and selling them on ebay, but figured by the time I did the buyers would smarten up.

 

[Silky]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

We adopted a newborn as well over 6 years ago. My DW gave up a full-time, highly rewarding job to become a SAHM. When we bought a house 2 years prior, we structured the mortgage so that it could be paid with just my salary. We drive two cars, both over 8 years old. We seldom dine out and generally take only 1-2 weeks vacation/year. For us, the sacrifices have been worth it; others have to decide for themselves.

Good Luck,