You look at the facts: In Europe alone there are nearly one hundred and fifty million homes, and he goes through the lot in eight hours. That means he lands on your roof, gets down your chimney, dumps the presents and is out in one-five-thousand of a second! Are you surprised nobody sees him? ‘What was that red blur? Ooh!’ And in each house he has a mince pie and a glass of sherry! That means that he eats three tonnes of mince pies! And drinks nearly a million gallons of sherry! And then we don’t see him for another year. Are you surprised?