No, we are not rich!!

Ahhhh... I love this thread. This is my mom and sister. My mom has been "disabled" for 20+ years. She also has taught others how to be "disabled." She could run a business doing that. I moved out when I was 16. During that time she received child support from my dad (even though I was paying my own way) and charged me for gas money to take me to work. Then, when I was 18 I dropped out of college and became emancipated because it was the only way for my dad to stop paying her support. Throughout the years it's been "I need $5, $10, $20... for this, that, whatever." When she got busted for selling prescription pills she asked if I could post her $10,000 bond, and when I said I didn't even have $10 to my name (in college with a baby) she wanted me to ask my grandma (my dad's mom) for it. I don't even talk to her anymore...can't stand it.

My sister is another story. She has a job, part-time minimum wage, but it's a job. Her problem is that she can't seem to figure out what causes babies.

I've worked my hind end off to get where I am at. I had an oopsy baby during nursing school and there was a period I needed assistance, but it was a means to an end. I went to nursing school full-time, worked part-time and sometimes more than 1 job, had a newborn baby, managed to make good grades and receive scholarships on top of grants and loans, just to barely float above water.

I just have to give you kudos!!! You are the kind of person the system is for IMHO. So sorry about your mom and sister. I'm very proud of you for doing what you did though. Way to go!!! Now you are paying it forward by being a nurse and helping others.

I got a good laugh when you said your Sis's problem is she can't figure out what causes babies. :lmao: That was a good one.
 
Oh, great. Another "let's bash those on welfare" thread. Yawn.

I'm not bashing anyone on welfare. I know it is there for a reason. And I am not going to get into my beliefs on the subject.
:)

I am complaining about people who don't work and for that reason don't have money whining about us having enough money to pay our bills, take small vacations, and have extras.

That's all.
 
I'm not bashing anyone on welfare. I know it is there for a reason. And I am not going to get into my beliefs on the subject.
:)

I am complaining about people who don't work and for that reason don't have money whining about us having enough money to pay our bills, take small vacations, and have extras.

That's all.

Completely understandable. Enjoy your vacations.
 
Yes, relatives. Mainly my MIL. Who is "disabled" and lives off the state and taking advantage of other people. Yet constantly whines about not having any money and says that we don't understand because we are rich.

That's the problem with welfare right there. Even if people work the system, it's not enough money but just enough to keep people from getting off the system. It's a trap and a terrible way to help people because it makes them dependant and feeling not empowered to be the master of their own destiny.

I too am annoyed with people's attitudes about what I have and don't have. It's all about priorities and saving for what you value. My daughter is in a program where she is taken for fun outings in the community. Her worker today asked if I could give DD a couple of dollars each day for activities. ???
5 days a week? Not in the budget for every day! I handed my DD her library card and a coupon for a free DQ Blizzard and sent her on her way. I'm sure the worker thinks we "have the money" and I'm being cheap. Maybe I am, but we are saving for things we want and need, not frittering away money everyday on little things. Before you flame me, I do give her money to eat out and see a movie once a week and I don't think it will do kids any good to think that they need money to have fun. End of my vent!
 

we too are not rich, and work rather hard for what we have. Make sacrifices for alot of things so I can little one can have whatever she needs.

Loaned my sister $11,000 for her wedding. We were suppose to get it back right after the wedding. Neddless to say I have had to ask twice already and the response is forgot or did not have time to mail it out. I don't remember forgetting to loan it.

It is alot of money to us and we are now in a bad place because we don't have it......relatives.
 
If you get a chance look up Thomas Sowell's article today on Social Justice.

I really don't see what that has to do with OP's MIL. :confused3

Btw, OP, I'm convinced we have the same MIL!
 
My husband gets comments from a few of his co-workers who say things like, "It must be nice!" and "Wish I was rich like you!" when we go on vacation. What they can't comprehend is that we live pretty frugally and make smart decisions with our money throughout the year, but that we enjoy going on a nice family vacation once a year. Many of them would rather have the latest model car, designer clothes or shoes, electronic gadgets and they dine out a lot. If they lived more frugally, they could be "rich," too! :)

We also get comments from a few relatives who think we "waste" our money by taking family vacations. My opinion on that is that you can't take it with you, and precious memories at Walt Disney World with our family are worth more than all the riches in the world.

We didn't even tell them that we are spending Thanksgiving at Uncle Walt's this year. ;)
 


I am and it does, but I'm guessing for a different reason. :-)

I completely understand the sentiment, especially those of us who work our butts off to be able to provide certain things for our families. It can be frustrating to feel like all the effort we put into doing what we do means less because so many seem to skate by using "the system."

BUT...

You really don't know what their lives are like. You only know what they tell you and what it looks like on the outside. It is easy to become complacent when in a situation that has become regular to them, but no one actually enjoys living in poverty.

Furthermore, I am a Christian; Scripture tells us that "to whom much is given, much is required." I have never minded doing more to help out my fellow man. Is it always fair? No. But I have been very blessed, often and in so many ways, so "fair" isn't my standard. I'd rather give a little more so that those less fortunate than I, especially children who don't have a choice in what their parents do, will live a life where basic needs are covered.

Just my $.02

So true!!!! People don't actually enjoy having nothing.

I hate to say it but the term poverty is a relative term in this country. I don't know anywhere in this country where a person couldn't go and get food, shoes for their feet and clothes for their back. Not in this country. Uganda absolutely but not this country.

I know people, including the one I refer to back in my previous post who are not poor. They are not in poverty! They have a nice roof over their head, they have good food to eat, shoes on their feet, clothes on their back, drive a new mini-van (I don't even drive a brand new car), have internet, blackberries (both of the adults). . . I could go on but I think I've made my point. Yet, these are the ones who are using the system, making sure they don't make over a certain amount a year to make sure they keep their benefits even though they could, to their advantage. Sure, they don't go to Disney and take lavish vacations. Maybe they don't decorate their house with expensive curtains and nice furniture but they sure do go to the movies, buy videos, lay out at the pool all day in the summer, etc. I personally know others that are on the system and live the same type of lifestyle. They think they're living the life!

I could be wrong but I think this is the point that the OP was trying to make. That here she is getting up early, going to work and working hard for what she has and here are these types of people who are working the system with their hands out taking the money made by the people going to work everyday.

I personally know people who do this, who work the system. They may not drive a car like mine (but some drive better) or live in a house like mine w/ the nice decorative touches etc. etc. but NOT having that stuff doesn't make you live in poverty either. They are totally fine living in their abodes, driving their cars AND sleeping in every morning, not answering to a boss, sitting home watching Jerry Springer and playing on the internet all day every day. I know one person who thinks we're the fools for living like a slave to the man!!

Just my $.02
 
OP, I feel your pain on the ILs front. My FIL thinks we are fools with our money because we spend money to go on vacations, while my BIL and his wife think we are so rich because we can go on vacation. Mind you we worked hard to buy a house we could afford, survive with one car that is 6 years old, and keep everything else to a minimum. This same BIL and wife lived with us for a year while they were supposed to be saving money to buy a house. They never made rent on time in that year, had to borrow money from my FIL when one of their cars broke down, and yet were always coming home with expensive things like two brand new Blackberry phones with full data packages, $200 in Teavana tea, Sonicare toothbrushes, and way more.

By the time they finally moved out into a rental (couldn't afford a house) I was ready to kill them. Mostly for the snide remarks about how they wished they could afford to go on vacations.
 


I am and it does, but I'm guessing for a different reason. :-)

I completely understand the sentiment, especially those of us who work our butts off to be able to provide certain things for our families. It can be frustrating to feel like all the effort we put into doing what we do means less because so many seem to skate by using "the system."

BUT...

You really don't know what their lives are like. You only know what they tell you and what it looks like on the outside. It is easy to become complacent when in a situation that has become regular to them, but no one actually enjoys living in poverty.

Furthermore, I am a Christian; Scripture tells us that "to whom much is given, much is required." I have never minded doing more to help out my fellow man. Is it always fair? No. But I have been very blessed, often and in so many ways, so "fair" isn't my standard. I'd rather give a little more so that those less fortunate than I, especially children who don't have a choice in what their parents do, will live a life where basic needs are covered.

Just my $.02

:thumbsup2

I believe people are basically good. I think sometimes they have issues or "things" that have stopping them from being as healthy and productive.
 
So true!!!! People don't actually enjoy having nothing.

Now, OP, this does not mean you are obligated to give. You earned the money, it is yours, but a little compassion is free.

Many who work don't enjoy not having all that free time. Many who chose to not work enjoy all their free time and avail themselves of the fun that they can have.

Many who work do not enjoy watching all their paycheck being gone after paying all the bills. The non workers have this too but can go to the state, churches and charities to get free stuff or get the bills paid.

Poverty sucks and so does working to pay your bills but one can be much more fun.;)
 
There is no perfect system (or political party) - and there are people out there that will find a way to abuse any system. But there are many people on these programs that have a very legitimate need. And as a society it's irresponsible to abandon or forget about them out of fear and frustration that someone might be getting something they are not entitled to.
 
as for me, i am waiting for the money fairy to leave a bundle of joy on our doorstep one day! :rotfl2::lmao:

i have learned through bad experiences to never lend money to family...just give it as a gift if you have it because 98% of the time you will never get paid back!

frustrated on the college front....have a son going to college in 2 years and not happy that all scholarships/loans are based on our income! while we are not poor, thinking about paying $14,500 per year plus expenses is daunting! frustrating that things have changed and he can only get a certain amount of loans/scholarships based on our income when all kids in our state that pass high school but are under a certain income get college free no matter what...just nervous about paying big bills!
 
as for me, i am waiting for the money fairy to leave a bundle of joy on our doorstep one day! :rotfl2::lmao:

i have learned through bad experiences to never lend money to family...just give it as a gift if you have it because 98% of the time you will never get paid back!

frustrated on the college front....have a son going to college in 2 years and not happy that all scholarships/loans are based on our income! while we are not poor, thinking about paying $14,500 per year plus expenses is daunting! frustrating that things have changed and he can only get a certain amount of loans/scholarships based on our income when all kids in our state that pass high school but are under a certain income get college free no matter what...just nervous about paying big bills!

I believe you are mistaken regarding the college loans and scholarships. Nothing has changed and there are all sorts of scholarships unrelated to income. You'll probably learn more next year. Good luck. :)
 
You hit the nail on the head about a nurses day! And the one the ones cursing at you are the ones on government assistance for "bad nerves" or "bad back" at the age of 20, who have never worked a day in their lives!
:thumbsup2Amen, I like when they say, "I'm not coming back to this doctor/hospital ever again!" And they're on Medicaid. :confused3 How exactly is this supposed to make me feel bad?
 
A vent :

Yes, we work hard.
Yes, we pay our bills on time.
Yes, we have money in our savings account.
Yes, we budget.

However, we are not rich. We work very hard for what we have. And your attitude for not giving you money when you don't work is not appreciated.

Vent over.

:thumbsup2:thanks: I get this from family all the time. They never think about all the hard work that goes into me having what I have. They expect a handout because I have more. It is especially vexing for me because I don't have children of my own, so everyone expects me to have extra to give to them. No, I worked hard to get an education, I get up every week and go to work, spend wisely and budget. They would have more too if they would odo the same. :headache:
 
I was standing outside the other day waiting for a ride after dropping my car off to be repaired and a fairly young guy pulled up on his bike and asked me if I wanted to buy his food stamps :confused3 I was thinking ....uh, haven't I already paid for your food stamps :mad: I can't stand people who abuse the system!!
 
I have a huge problem with this misguided air of entitlement that seems to spreading like a pandemic. I'm not working right now, not by choice, but that doesn't give me the right to expect my affluent friends or anyone else to give me a handout.

On the other hand, I've also realized that my affluent friends sometimes have no concept of the realities of life for people without money.

An example - affluent woman with a finance background writes a book offering financial advice to people who are really down on their luck. Less than stellar sales, so the next step in growing the business was the course and seminar series! (Expert advice from her publisher or agent) She calls me in a panic when she realizes that subscriptions to the courses and seminars are not what she'd hoped for - what do I think? My response, "I think that if I was broke and had to make a choice between spending my last $100 on a "life-changing seminar" or buying groceries/ paying utilities etc, I think I'd have to go with food or electricity" She was stunned - it really didn't occur to her that her target market just couldn't afford her work!
 
As someone who has been on the system and knows plenty of folks on the system, I can say that it is a tremendous amount of wasted money that's only function is handicapping people.

I was on there for about a year after I had my child. I knew it was not a way of life I wanted for myself or a mentality that I wanted to pass on to my daughter(as it does tend to become a pattern). I used every resource available to me through the government(and there were tons) to go back to school and start a career.

It's flawed in the sense that as soon as I started working and trying to get on my feet everything stopped.....every dime. I don't understand why it's not set-up more to help people make ends meet than to fully support grown, able-bodied people. They give way more stamps than are necessary to provide for the families. Every person I know that receives stamps (friends and family members) sell hundreds of them every month. They're not on drugs, that's just spending money. Some states have the free cell phone, which I don't understand. I can see a discount or free landline, but a cell phone. The folks I know with those phones, give them to their kids and the mother has her blackberry or droid. There are foreign owned stores that will accept ebt for minutes on your phone, alcohol, cigs, whatever... they just ring it up like you purchased groceries. I have friends that live totally rent free,don't work but have either a drug dealing boyfriend living with them or a man working a legal job with them. The point is that there is income coming in there that is not being counted. So these people are living rent free, getting free phone service, free food, a utilty check, and free healthcare. At the end of the year, they let various folks claim their kids on their tax returns and get thousands of dollars that way. I went to a local tech school my first two years and there were people that made a career of going to school. The government puts no limits on achieving AA degrees, so you would have people that would just keep coming back because between the balance from the Pell and other programs offered for low-income families they would receive thousands of dollars each semester to spend how they pleased. I know women that are married with both parents working and have went to DSS and said their husband left them just to get benefits. The scams are neverending. The scammers don't think it's a big deal because they think the government is this entity with an infinte supply of money, they don't think about the hard working folks that are not only supporting their own family but having to support all these other dead beat folks and their children too.

And the comments about these people not enjoying living in poverty....there are some folks that truly don't have anything but a lot of these people wear name brand clothes, both them and their kids have NICE cell phones, they have nicely furnished residences, nice cars, carry $200 purses, have flat screen tvs throughout the house, computers with internet service, etc. These people are not living badly. Why would they work when they know their needs will be met by the "government"? The problem is that they have come to expect other people to provide their necessities so they can spend their money how they please.

There is no reason these people can't work somewhere, doing something. Childcare and transportation to and from work is provided. So what's the problem? If they're not working, make them do some type of community service..... I bet you'd see more of them going to work. And I think they should stop increasing benefit amounts after 2 children. Why keep having children you can't afford? I stopped at one, because I knew that's all I could afford as a single mother. Birth control is free, so there's no excuse. I don't mind helping people that are trying to help themselves but all this money being spent to keep up lazy people can be going to meet other important national needs.
 
As someone who has been on the system and knows plenty of folks on the system, I can say that it is a tremendous amount of wasted money that's only function is handicapping people.

I was on there for about a year after I had my child. I knew it was not a way of life I wanted for myself or a mentality that I wanted to pass on to my daughter(as it does tend to become a pattern). I used every resource available to me through the government(and there were tons) to go back to school and start a career.

It's flawed in the sense that as soon as I started working and trying to get on my feet everything stopped.....every dime. I don't understand why it's not set-up more to help people make ends meet than to fully support grown, able-bodied people. They give way more stamps than are necessary to provide for the families. Every person I know that receives stamps (friends and family members) sell hundreds of them every month. They're not on drugs, that's just spending money. Some states have the free cell phone, which I don't understand. I can see a discount or free landline, but a cell phone. The folks I know with those phones, give them to their kids and the mother has her blackberry or droid. There are foreign owned stores that will accept ebt for minutes on your phone, alcohol, cigs, whatever... they just ring it up like you purchased groceries. I have friends that live totally rent free,don't work but have either a drug dealing boyfriend living with them or a man working a legal job with them. The point is that there is income coming in there that is not being counted. So these people are living rent free, getting free phone service, free food, a utilty check, and free healthcare. At the end of the year, they let various folks claim their kids on their tax returns and get thousands of dollars that way. I went to a local tech school my first two years and there were people that made a career of going to school. The government puts no limits on achieving AA degrees, so you would have people that would just keep coming back because between the balance from the Pell and other programs offered for low-income families they would receive thousands of dollars each semester to spend how they pleased. I know women that are married with both parents working and have went to DSS and said their husband left them just to get benefits. The scams are neverending. The scammers don't think it's a big deal because they think the government is this entity with an infinte supply of money, they don't think about the hard working folks that are not only supporting their own family but having to support all these other dead beat folks and their children too.

And the comments about these people not enjoying living in poverty....there are some folks that truly don't have anything but a lot of these people wear name brand clothes, both them and their kids have NICE cell phones, they have nicely furnished residences, nice cars, carry $200 purses, have flat screen tvs throughout the house, computers with internet service, etc. These people are not living badly. Why would they work when they know their needs will be met by the "government"? The problem is that they have come to expect other people to provide their necessities so they can spend their money how they please.

There is no reason these people can't work somewhere, doing something. Childcare and transportation to and from work is provided. So what's the problem? If they're not working, make them do some type of community service..... I bet you'd see more of them going to work. And I think they should stop increasing benefit amounts after 2 children. Why keep having children you can't afford? I stopped at one, because I knew that's all I could afford as a single mother. Birth control is free, so there's no excuse. I don't mind helping people that are trying to help themselves but all this money being spent to keep up lazy people can be going to meet other important national needs.
:thumbsup2 Excellent post and kudos for bettering your situation.
 


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