No, we are not rich!!

[Broadway Duchess]

You must be a nurse like me
I had to register just to respond, this topic makes me NUTS.

I am and it does, but I'm guessing for a different reason.

I completely understand the sentiment, especially those of us who work our butts off to be able to provide certain things for our families. It can be frustrating to feel like all the effort we put into doing what we do means less because so many seem to skate by using "the system."

BUT...

You really don't know what their lives are like. You only know what they tell you and what it looks like on the outside. It is easy to become complacent when in a situation that has become regular to them, but no one actually enjoys living in poverty.

Furthermore, I am a Christian; Scripture tells us that "to whom much is given, much is required." I have never minded doing more to help out my fellow man. Is it always fair? No. But I have been very blessed, often and in so many ways, so "fair" isn't my standard. I'd rather give a little more so that those less fortunate than I, especially children who don't have a choice in what their parents do, will live a life where basic needs are covered.

Just my $.02

 

[Kay1]

Yes, relatives. Mainly my MIL. Who is "disabled" and lives off the state and taking advantage of other people. Yet constantly whines about not having any money and says that we don't understand because we are rich.

You don't want to get me started talking about welfare and people who search to find a doctor to claim them as "disabled". (I do know there are truly disabled people out there, so don't think I am talking about you!! )

Thanks for getting back. This thread seems to be turning into yet another political thread which is not allowed on the DIS, but I never thought you meant that to happen.

I have a similar issue with my MIL and that's why I was interested in your initial comment. She tends to view her children's money as her own and feels entitled to just take. She doesn't do it so much anymore, but she used to actually beg.

 

[DawnM]

Really? This needs to get political?

I can tell you there is waste on both sides of the fence!

Dawn

PLEASE VOTE !!! The only way to help stop the bleeding is to get the people with the knives out of there!!

 

[Purseval]

Furthermore, I am a Christian; Scripture tells us that "to whom much is given, much is required." I have never minded doing more to help out my fellow man. Is it always fair? No. But I have been very blessed, often and in so many ways, so "fair" isn't my standard. I'd rather give a little more so that those less fortunate than I, especially children who don't have a choice in what their parents do, will live a life where basic needs are covered.

Just my $.02

Noticed how I highlighted I. Nobody has a problem with what you want to do with your time and money. The problems start when you decide that your neighbors have to go by your example, whether they want to or not. Charity isn't charity when it's given with a gun to your head.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

DH's boss is always making remarks about what I make, even DH doesn't really know that, but based on the number of Disney trips we take, we must be rich.

His boss says he can't afford to take his kid to Disney, but his wife and son spend the entire summer in Japan/China, one of those countries with his in-laws that live with him. He also owns the business DH works at as well as receiving retirement from the Army and lacks for nothing else. I told DH well if he would qit buying all those toys he buys and moving every would of years, he would be able to afford to take his kid to Disney. I don't think he really wants to go, I think he just enjoys being a jerk.

Suzanne

 

[punkin]

I am and it does, but I'm guessing for a different reason.

I completely understand the sentiment, especially those of us who work our butts off to be able to provide certain things for our families. It can be frustrating to feel like all the effort we put into doing what we do means less because so many seem to skate by using "the system."

BUT...

You really don't know what their lives are like. You only know what they tell you and what it looks like on the outside. It is easy to become complacent when in a situation that has become regular to them, but no one actually enjoys living in poverty.

Furthermore, I am a Christian; Scripture tells us that "to whom much is given, much is required." I have never minded doing more to help out my fellow man. Is it always fair? No. But I have been very blessed, often and in so many ways, so "fair" isn't my standard. I'd rather give a little more so that those less fortunate than I, especially children who don't have a choice in what their parents do, will live a life where basic needs are covered.

Just my $.02

So true!!!! People don't actually enjoy having nothing.

Now, OP, this does not mean you are obligated to give. You earned the money, it is yours, but a little compassion is free.

 

[MissBritt]

Noticed how I highlighted I. The problems start when you decide that your neighbors have to go by your example, whether they want to or not. Charity isn't charity when it's given with a gun to your head.

Gun to your head? Really? I don't think she was trying to make you do anything. Let's not be extreme.

 

[ccgirl]

I so understand! My BiL and SiL are that way. They say we must be rich because we go to Disney every year. They mooch off everyone and everything. She is currently on UI. Here in MA it is very good. They will not pay $$ for a babysitter; will only ask my MiL and FiL to watch their kids for free. They even had them pay for their condo when we all sent to FL. BiL makes 75K a year and gets free health insurance. Their rent is $800 a month. I just don't get it how some people can mooch. I really don't mind helping those down on their luck. Heck, I claimed UI when I was laid off. BUt....I was actively seeking employment and even did not claim it the week I was on vacation.

I do like what the previous poster said about, "To whom much is given, much is expected." Maybe I should start thinking about that and this topic won't make me so angry.

 

[MoniqueU]

Well the government and the Fafsa people think we are rich LOL. We pay more in taxes then some of my relatives make all year. We are constantly amazed at the lack of ambition even with our family and a few friends. Just no desire to move up or get ahead just complaining about money problems?? WTH

 

[MomRN]

Ahhhh... I love this thread. This is my mom and sister. My mom has been "disabled" for 20+ years. She also has taught others how to be "disabled." She could run a business doing that. I moved out when I was 16. During that time she received child support from my dad (even though I was paying my own way) and charged me for gas money to take me to work. Then, when I was 18 I dropped out of college and became emancipated because it was the only way for my dad to stop paying her support. Throughout the years it's been "I need $5, $10, $20... for this, that, whatever." When she got busted for selling prescription pills she asked if I could post her $10,000 bond, and when I said I didn't even have $10 to my name (in college with a baby) she wanted me to ask my grandma (my dad's mom) for it. I don't even talk to her anymore...can't stand it.

My sister is another story. She has a job, part-time minimum wage, but it's a job. Her problem is that she can't seem to figure out what causes babies.

I've worked my hind end off to get where I am at. I had an oopsy baby during nursing school and there was a period I needed assistance, but it was a means to an end. I went to nursing school full-time, worked part-time and sometimes more than 1 job, had a newborn baby, managed to make good grades and receive scholarships on top of grants and loans, just to barely float above water.

 

[bettymae1121]

MIL is always commenting on how other people seem to have all this stuff, while she has "nothing".

Thing is, she hasn't worked since she got pregnant with DH over 38 years ago. She was a SAHM mom from then on, even once DH was in school and she could have easily worked part time (being a SAHM is fine, but then don't complain that you don't have money for extras because you don't work. You can't have it both ways). Even after DH's father died when he was in high school she wouldn't go back to work. No life insurance, just a small policy that paid off the mortgage. Since then she's lived off her late husband's pension (it gives widow's benifits). She squeeks by on that, but refuses to work even though she is healthy enough to, and then complains that she can't afford things.

Seriously, what she claims is "nothing" is a nice home on 2 acres of land (beautiful area she lives in), she has great health insurance benifits (also through her late husbands employer), she can afford a decent car, clothes, and food...all without haveing to work. Billions of people on this planet would KILL to be in her shoes. And STILL she complains. I don't get it. She in no way lives off the system, but doesn't want to work in order to afford more of the things she says she wants. If you don't want to work, fine, you aren't spounging off the system (and my hat's off to her to making ends meet on a small income) so do what you want. But then don't complain that others get to enjoy the finer things in life. They work for their money!

 

[scdak]

You must be a nurse like me
I hate being called "lucky" because we don't worry about money. Come spend a day at work with me getting cursed at, back strained, physically, emotionally and mentally drained, and walk around with a perpetually full bladder because I can't even find time to pee in a 13 hour work day, and then call me lucky. Oh, and and I am so lucky to write those checks every month to student loan repayment, and daycare.

( I had to register just to respond, this topic makes me NUTS)

You hit the nail on the head about a nurses day! And the one the ones cursing at you are the ones on government assistance for "bad nerves" or "bad back" at the age of 20, who have never worked a day in their lives!

 

[tinkarooni]

OP I feel your pain....I have been watching my brother and SIL be the grasshopper instead of the ant for years. Big screen tvs, brand new house waaayyy more expensive than ours even though we are a two income family, new furniture to decorate said house, she has not worked since they married.....now she is pregnant and he has just had back surgery which put him out of work, nobody's working, there's no money coming in and I sit back and watch my parents bail them out by giving them a car, a riding lawn mower and now expensive lawn service to keep their yard tidy in their keep up with the Joneses neighborhood.

I understand medical things can happen but maybe you shouldn't have spent all your money on knickey knacks and doo dads......and maybe even now when you are 35 years old and your parents are bailing you out perhaps you should sell your season tickets to the local professional soccer games, your very pregnant wife should stop redecorating the living room with pottery barn pillows, curtains and picture frames, and maybe just maybe you should shut off a few of your 800 HD Tv channels or your data plan on one or perhaps even both of your phones......and that just scratches the surface!

Thanks I needed to get that out.

 

[rszdtrvl]

I would have no issue being "compassionate" to MIL if I knew for sure the money would not go towards he prescription drugs (her doctor recommended she go to rehab for prescription addiction, but she refused so he gave her a 2 month supply and told her to find a new doctor) or the casino. As it is, she is getting free rent that she is supposed to pay for (she says she is broke and the guy is a "friend" - aka : a person new person she can take advantage of because he is lonely - and that she can't afford her rent).

She has 3 lawsuits pending - if there is a puddle on the floor of a grocery store, she will slip and boom! Lawsuit!

She is someone we don't talk to much because not only is she toxic, but she constantly complains about how poor she is and how rich people should share.

 

[okeydokey]

I am and it does, but I'm guessing for a different reason.

I completely understand the sentiment, especially those of us who work our butts off to be able to provide certain things for our families. It can be frustrating to feel like all the effort we put into doing what we do means less because so many seem to skate by using "the system."

BUT...

You really don't know what their lives are like. You only know what they tell you and what it looks like on the outside. It is easy to become complacent when in a situation that has become regular to them, but no one actually enjoys living in poverty.

Amen.

Furthermore, I am a Christian; Scripture tells us that "to whom much is given, much is required." I have never minded doing more to help out my fellow man. Is it always fair? No. But I have been very blessed, often and in so many ways, so "fair" isn't my standard. I'd rather give a little more so that those less fortunate than I, especially children who don't have a choice in what their parents do, will live a life where basic needs are covered.

Just my $.02

Amen.

 

[blanq]

Oh, great. Another "let's bash those on welfare" thread. Yawn.

 

[2disneyboys]

My Favorite is ... "it must be nice......" grr... just because we chose to not live above our means, and are willing to go without until we have the cash to pay for something does not mean that I am now a loan processing center. grrr.

DH & I bought our house for a very good price back in 96 and have been paying extra on it ever since. so my MIL does not understand why we are not willig to "tap all that equity" to remodel such and such or buy such and such etc. yes, we want a new bathroom, however, our current bathroom is completely functional, just ugly. we will remodel it like we have the rest of the house.. make a plan, make a budget, save the cash, then remodel. I don't judge what they do with thier money and I (thank god) have never had to borrow or accept financial help from them, but all we hear is nasty stuff when we don't do stuff to help out bil and his gf (never mind the over $5,000 that we have loaned to them in the past 5 years or so that we haven't seen and prob never will see a red cent of!) we said "no" to another loan and have been blacklisted since then! There are no kids involved, just 2 adults that have good paying jobs and just continue to make bad choices... so now it's "our" fault they are going to lose thier car, home, boat, motocycle etc.. because we "could" help them if we "wanted" too. At least DH & I agree that being blacklisted is not such a bad thing!

It saddens me the attidude society has taken where so many people are not responsible for thier choices. I know that some people just have some bad luck and there are alot of people in bad places right now through no fault of thier own... they are not the ones that sadden me. It's the ones who are where they are because of choices they made, yet all they ever do is blame someone else for where they are.... SIGH.... oh well.

 

[smartkim]

I agree with the very first post. I work hard each day to help provide for my family. No, my family is not rich by any means but we work hard to pay bills and provide clothing and food. While I do believe there are many people who need government assistance, I also believe there are many that do not need it and get it anyway. My sister falls into this category. She gets a check every month for disability yet she is not disabled. She gets food stamps and child support for a child that doesn't even live with her. Both of her children live with my parents (the children's choice BTW). Yet, she helps a friend in her daycare and gets paid under the table. The rest of the time, she does what she wants to do, sit around the house, run the roads, etc. She doesn't have to report to anyone. An old friend's husband is the same. He can't work because of a disability that he draws a check for yet he has totally rebuilt their house on the inside. IMO, if you can do either of those types of work, you should get a job and stop taking handouts.

 

[At World's End]

A vent :

Yes, we work hard.
Yes, we pay our bills on time.
Yes, we have money in our savings account.
Yes, we budget.

However, we are not rich. We work very hard for what we have. And your attitude for not giving you money when you don't work is not appreciated.

Vent over.

I have to say that I do believe you are rich, just not necessarily by our society's view. It seems to be more important to have stuff than financial independance.

We are looked down upon by my MIL who feels that her value is measured by the amount of crap she has stored in her garage. After two bankruptcies she still hasn't learned that there is more to life than stuff. Last year she literally demanded a new Ipod for her birthday (DH and I don't even have one for ourselves) and she threw a fit when we said we couldn't afford it. She knew we had received some money from a relative and she felt entitled to a chunk of it. She also knew I was having two surgeries that we needed to pay for, but she didn't concern herself with that.

Then there's my BIL who is willing to buy a bottle of wine and use a debit card on an overdrawn account, ending up with a $30 overdraft charge for a $3 bottle of wine. My sister picked a winner with him.

 

[WDW*Dreamer]

If you get a chance look up Thomas Sowell's article today on Social Justice.