No "thank you" - would this bother you?

[EllenFrasier]

Okay, here is the background. My sister's daughter (my niece) had two children with a boyfriend and then got married. They never moved in together and the relationship ended. Now she is engaged to be married and lives with her fiancee with the two children. This relationship appears to be working out and they are happy. They both work hard to live on their own, but this Christmas things were really tight so they didn't have a lot of money for gifts. I decided when I was out getting gifts for my kids and surfing the web for deals, I would keep a lookout for gifts for her boys for them to put under the tree.

So I ended up getting a couple of games, two boxes of hotwheels cars, and a Mr. Potato Head tent with velcro pieces that could be attached on the outside of the tent. I didn't wrap the toys and told my sister that she could just give them to her daughter to put under the tree from them or from Santa or whoever. I do not normally give my nieces kids gifts, we just did not start with Christmas gifts and I didn't want to start now. We give them birthday gifts if they have a party or something.

Anyway, I brought the bag of toys down to my Mom's house (my sister and her husband live there with my Mom) and told my mother that the bag was for my sister. I never heard anything from my sister - I thought she'd at least send me any email saying "thanks for the toys" or something so I'd know she got them. I mentioned it to my other sister who talks to her more often on the phone, etc. and she didn't say anything either.

So now I'm not sure she got the gifts or what. Now if it was me and someone did that for my daughter, I would at least let them know that the gifts were received. I would probably go out of my way to say something about them too - like how much I thought the kids might like them, etc. Nothing - not a peep.

I suppose I did say they were not really a gift from me, just something for them to put under the tree to help out, but still I would like to know they got them. When I go down to my Mom's think I'll hint around and see if she ever gave the bag to my sister...

 

[TimeforMe]

Yes, she should've at least acknowledged them.

 

[krcit]

I would call your sister and sweetly say "I didn't hear from you so I wanted to make sure that the gifts were recieved." Why sit around wondering? Just ask and you'll know and also make your sister aware that she should've acknowledged the gifts.

 

[Kelrykengab]

That would drive me crazy. At the very least an acknowledgement is in order. You did a good thing.

 

[doxdogy]

Well, you stated that you gave them to your mom to give to her. Why just ask your sister or your mom?

 

[golfgal]

Since you left them with your mom I wouldn't hesitate to call your sister (I would have called before Christmas) and just made sure they made it to your niece.

 

[AristocatFan]

I agree some acknowledgment should have been given and you should ask your mom to make sure that she did receive the gifts. Once you confirm that they were received and she just never thanked you, well then you know not to do it again. I have a niece who never acknowledged the gifts I sent when she had her first two kids. This past fall she had twins. I didn't send a gift.

 

[coconutprincess]

I would call your sister. Maybe she just forgot?

 

[tar heel]

When I go down to my Mom's think I'll hint around and see if she ever gave the bag to my sister...

I'd be annoyed, too, but why play a game and hint around? Ask directly.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

Maybe they are planning on sending you a thank you card. This is the first day since Christmas that mail could sent.

 

[C.Ann]

Any chance at all that your mom didn't tell her who they were from? Just a "Secret Santa"? Just trying to think outside of the box here..

 

[minkydog]

For heavens sake, just call her and ask. If you had dropped off gifts at my mother's house, we prolly wouldn't see them til Easter! Who knows why she hasn't called--mildly embarrassed because she couldn't provide Christmas for her kids, overwhelmed and doesn't know how to bring it up, hasn't had a quiet moment to herself in 72 hours? Or perhaps she's just an insensitive jerk. Call and ask if they got the presents and how the kids liked them. I know it doesn't seem right, but seeing as how she's gotten a lot of other things bass-ackwards, maybe she needs a push now to do the right thing.

 

[Kim&Chris]

I would call your sister and sweetly say "I didn't hear from you so I wanted to make sure that the gifts were recieved." Why sit around wondering? Just ask and you'll know and also make your sister aware that she should've acknowledged the gifts.

I agree.

 

[beaucoup]

Just ask her.

 

[rie'smom]

Maybe because money is tight she thought you were giving them to her to use as presents from she and the boyfriend.

 

[Allison]

Why would you hint around? Just ask.

 

[snowywhite89]

Okay, here is the background. My sister's daughter (my niece) had two children with a boyfriend and then got married. They never moved in together and the relationship ended. Now she is engaged to be married and lives with her fiancee with the two children. This relationship appears to be working out and they are happy. They both work hard to live on their own, but this Christmas things were really tight so they didn't have a lot of money for gifts. I decided when I was out getting gifts for my kids and surfing the web for deals, I would keep a lookout for gifts for her boys for them to put under the tree.

So I ended up getting a couple of games, two boxes of hotwheels cars, and a Mr. Potato Head tent with velcro pieces that could be attached on the outside of the tent. I didn't wrap the toys and told my sister that she could just give them to her daughter to put under the tree from them or from Santa or whoever. I do not normally give my nieces kids gifts, we just did not start with Christmas gifts and I didn't want to start now. We give them birthday gifts if they have a party or something.

Anyway, I brought the bag of toys down to my Mom's house (my sister and her husband live there with my Mom) and told my mother that the bag was for my sister. I never heard anything from my sister - I thought she'd at least send me any email saying "thanks for the toys" or something so I'd know she got them. I mentioned it to my other sister who talks to her more often on the phone, etc. and she didn't say anything either.

So now I'm not sure she got the gifts or what. Now if it was me and someone did that for my daughter, I would at least let them know that the gifts were received. I would probably go out of my way to say something about them too - like how much I thought the kids might like them, etc. Nothing - not a peep.

I suppose I did say they were not really a gift from me, just something for them to put under the tree to help out, but still I would like to know they got them. When I go down to my Mom's think I'll hint around and see if she ever gave the bag to my sister...

I would ask her if she got the bag. It is possible that she never got the bag.

In hind sight it would have been better for you to have told your sister about the bag before Christmas.

 

[dislaney]

It's only been a couple of days since Christmas. I haven't sent thank you notes out yet. I would just ask if your not sure if she received them yet.

 

[smb6]

She should have acknowledged it. But I know where you are coming from by not wanting to directly ask- you don't want to come off as "bragging" or anything..... I think I would either ask mom casually- "you gave sis those gifts right?". Or you could ask sis- "mom gave you those gifts, didn't she?" Good, I just wanted to make sure she didn't forget to give them to you." I think you could say something casually to make sure she got them and still be tactful....

 

[smb6]

I would ask her if she got the bag. It is possible that she never got the bag.

In hind sight it would have been better for you to have told your sister about the bag before Christmas.

Yea, the best thing would have been to have called sis and told her " I just wanted to let you know I left a bag of gifts for the kids with mom".