Night Shift rant...

[jfoofj]

Ok... I have worked the night shift since 1997. I work 3 12 hour shifts a week, 7pm- 7am in a hospital. At this point, it is my choice to work nights, I have had the seniority to go to days for years now. I love the shift, the atmosphere, the people... I am a nocturnal girl! It has worked for me with the kid's schedules and given me the oppurtunity to really be there for them while they were little and participate and volunteer in their schools as they get older. Also, the shift differential is great (almost $8,000 more a year!) and honestly, while we could live without that added income, it sure is handy.

SO, my biggest issue with working nights is sleep. I have to sleep during the day, obviously. Often times I don't sleep before my first night on (I do try to work my 3 in a row so I get my 4 nights off in a row each week) so I can be up for 24 hours after that first shift. I NEED to sleep. I am lucky that I can sleep during the day, I have my room set up so I can make it nice and dark and I turn on a fan or AC and I'm out cold. I shut my house phone's ringer off so I that won't wake me, but I have to leave my cell phone on in case my son's school needs to call me on school days, and because I just really feel like I need to be reachable for emergencies. I can't seem to get it throught people's heads that when I sleep during the day, I will be sleeping from 9ish til 4ish because, well, we as humans require about that much sleep. My friends and family will call me at 1pm and say "oh, you are STILL sleeping? I figured you'd be up by now." Huh?!?!?! Do they get up at 1am to start their day?!?!? Even if it is the day after my last shift of the week and I know I can sleep that night, sometimes I'm so tired I can sleep till mid afternoon, wake up, function till 11pm then go back to bed for the night. Yes, I live with weekly jet lag, but I can make the switch pretty easily.

The other night at work I called my mother at 3am and when she answered the phone I began to talk to her about the kitchen curtains I recently bought and hate and she was a little taken aback. I said "What, you are still asleep? I figured you'd be up by now." I think she got the point (she got a laugh out of it... it was good natured, but I was trying to get my point across). I just don't understand why people think that all I need is a couple hours nap when working nights... It has happened a lot to me recently and been causing me to lose sleep which makes me an extremely grouchy girl. Any other night shifters out there experiencing this problem? How do you deal with it?

 

[MushyMushy]

I don't know, but that sure is funny!

 

[McKelly]

I can so relate to your problem. I worked third shift in Patient Registration in a hospital for three years and once went three days without any real sleep!! The way I dealt with it, I quit!!! The third time I fell asleep while driving home (thank goodness for those rutts on the side of the road that are really LOUD when you drive over them) was the straw that broke the camel's back.

People just don't get it, unless they have done it.

 

[jfoofj]

Ohhhhh, yes... the driving home.... I swear that driving exhausted is as bad if not worse than driving drunk. I have a half hour commute, and it can be hard when you haven't sleep well in days. I will caffeinate around 5am if I need to in order to be alert enough to drive home, but then I end up awake longer than I need to be. I hit my mailbox pulling into my driveway a few months ago.

ETA I just want to add that I don't drink and drive, I was just comparing the two... and I have actually driven to my moms (less than 10 minutes from my work) and slept there instead of driving home when there is really bad weather or if I'm just truly too tired to do the drive.

 

[pipersmom]

I haven't been in your situation for years, but the first thing that popped into my mind (maybe because I have one) would be to buy a prepaid cell phone, and give the number only to the people absolutely necessary...ie..your sons' schools, your DH, your work. That way you could turn off your regular cell phone as well. Since the prepaid would only be for that use, you could buy minimal minutes. Just a thought from someone who's been there..albeit a looong time ago..

 

[Jillpie]

If these are your true friends, and close family that are calling, you should feel more than comfortable to say "knock it off"!! Seriously. Tell them to just stop. Tell them that you sleep from 9-4 pm, every day. They should understand. I love the idea about getting that second cell phone too. I worked that shift many moons ago, I give you all the credit. And oh that trip home every morning, very scary some times with the sun hitting right on the wind shield.

 

[starrzone]

My SO works 12-hour shifts as well; 4 days on (2 7a-7p days, then 2 7p-7a nights) and then 4 days off. His parents and ex are pretty good with his schedule, but he gets calls all the time from other people! He usually ends up just taking the phone off the hook and letting the machine get any important calls (and literally 75% of them are from telemarketers, so he's not really missing much!).

 

[justhat]

My husband is a physician and often works 24 hour shifts (tonight, in fact) and he gets the same issues as you. Granted I am guilty of sometimes wanting him to be up when he is exhausted, but that is usually only for a specific, time sensitive need. He will get calls from people though, tell them he was/is sleeping or is about to nap and they act like he's crazy too! I think unless you've done it (or lived with someone who does, as I am guessing your husband is not one of the people waking you) you just don't understand the need for sleep.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I was comming to suggest what Pipersmom did. Have a phone with a number you ONLY give to the school and your DH (or whoever onne family member or friend you can trust not to give it out and not to call early. Tell this person to please only use said number for emergencies and limit his/her just talking calls to your regular number) If family/friends have an "emergency" they can call your DH (or whoever) who will then call you if warranted. I doubt any of them will call him at 1:00 to chat The early calls will just go to your (turned off) cell phone voice mail and you can get back to them later.

 

[SydSim]

Work nights for over 22 years. Always turned off everything until this year. Now I have my cell phone programmed to ONLY ring for DD's school number or her cell phone. DD-13 had to show me how to do it, of course I set all of my contacts to one specific "default" ring. Then, I set the school's and her cell number to a different specific "special" ring. Then, when I go to sleep, I set the phone for "no ring" - but that apparantly only applies to the contacts with "default" rings, so the ones with "special" rings will still be heard. Follow me? I don't get it either, but it works!

I did think about getting another cell just for emergencies, until my 13 year old schooled me on something better

 

[Imzadi]

This one's easy. I have two cell phones. Both happen to be prepaid Tracfones, because I've had a Tracfone for over 8 years now and love it. It's also quite inexpensive monthly to have the phones and two numbers. One cell phone is for personal calls and the other is for business.

You could get a Tracfone for as little as $20 for every 3 months of service. Give that number ONLY to the school and the places where DS will be during the day and might need to reach you during an emergency. Have that one on and placed by the bed. You can even leave it in the charger always turned on. Turn the other one off until you are ready to deal with real life again.

(You can always give the school your regular cell number as a back up number, like if they call after 4 pm. Most places list day & eve phone numbers.)

 

[Principessa1284]

Oh boy am I with you. I often have to do the night audit shift at the hotel I work at (like tonight!) and people just don't seem to get it sometimes. They're usually very good about waiting until after 3 or so to call, but that also isn't a given because sometimes I work 2pm-10pm. The past few weeks I've kept it on silent and had DFi keep an eye out for calls, but that doesn't always work, especially if he's working during the day. Actually, my mom called me this morning at 11am and I answered, very groggy, and she was like "oh, did I wake you up? i can never keep track of when you work overnight! i'll call you later!" At that point, you've already woken me up, so tell me what the *bleep* you want so you don't call me back in an hour when I fall back to sleep! Sheesh.

 

[Luv2trav]

Oh my I could have written this exact same post! I work nights 7-6am 4 days a week.. I could just scream when I get the "Are you still sleeping" comments. Sometimes I even get that from my own husband. I too do not get to sleep the 1st day on and in fact I only get 5 hours the next morning before DS gets out of kindergarten. While I love the shift and people I think it's time for me to come off. I've been on it 2 years and it has aged me.

 

[aprilgail2]

I worked nights for over 10 years and I ended up just leaving the phone off the hook while I slept (didn't have kids then though so I could do that)....but not only did I work 10pm-6am I would then got four times a week to my other job fron 6am-1pm so when I got home I was really tired- people would start calling as soon as I walked inthe door wanting to chat and all I wanted to do was sleep. I only did the second job Mon-Thurs. The guy I was dating at the time would call me before I went to sleep and I would have to cut him short after 30 minutes because I needed sleep and then would call me again at 9pm before I went to work and start out with - so whats new.........ummmmmmmmmmm---I hung up the phone with you, went to sleep and woke up and took a shower and ate, what could be new that I would have to talk to him about??....that was the only time I broke up with somone for calling to MUCH LOL!

 

[XYSRUS]

Oh, that's me, too. I work straight nights. All my kids ever say is that I always sleep. Are you kidding me? In fact I've been running on about 4 hours a day for years. People who don't do it just don't get it, pure and simple. PS I put my cell on vibrate and tell my kids and the school to call multiple times in a row-that usually wakes me-everyone else can go pound salt!

 

[jen0610]

Work nights for over 22 years. Always turned off everything until this year. Now I have my cell phone programmed to ONLY ring for DD's school number or her cell phone. DD-13 had to show me how to do it, of course I set all of my contacts to one specific "default" ring. Then, I set the school's and her cell number to a different specific "special" ring. Then, when I go to sleep, I set the phone for "no ring" - but that apparantly only applies to the contacts with "default" rings, so the ones with "special" rings will still be heard. Follow me? I don't get it either, but it works!

I did think about getting another cell just for emergencies, until my 13 year old schooled me on something better

This is what we did with DH's phone. It's a wonderful tool.

 

[minkydog]

Ohhhhh, yes... the driving home.... I swear that driving exhausted is as bad if not worse than driving drunk. I have a half hour commute, and it can be hard when you haven't sleep well in days. I will caffeinate around 5am if I need to in order to be alert enough to drive home, but then I end up awake longer than I need to be. I hit my mailbox pulling into my driveway a few months ago.

ETA I just want to add that I don't drink and drive, I was just comparing the two... and I have actually driven to my moms (less than 10 minutes from my work) and slept there instead of driving home when there is really bad weather or if I'm just truly too tired to do the drive.

I have heard it said that driving sleepy is every bit as dangerous as driving drunk. In fact, after i drove off the road and through some trees I quit working nights. I had worked the night shift of over 20 years. It was hard,but it worked best for my family. But it was very hard to teach other people, including my DH, that I needed *uninterrupted* sleep. When my son was under 2, DH was a very uncomfortable father. So when he got overwhelmed, he'd just open the door and plop him on the bed with me, saying "you do something." Argh! It took my almost 10 years to get him to understand the impact of his behavior.

I used to do pretty much what you're doing--dark, cool room, fan going, phone off, etc. this was before I had a cell phone and some days my house phone would ring off the hook. I finally got so exhausted that I set the phone to go straight to voicemail with a message stating that callers could reach DH at work. I only gave out the work number to my mother and the school. It worked out very well and rarely did DH actually have to leave work to deal with a childcare issue.

I will say this--I will never work night shift again. I loved working nights for the autonomy and pay, but all those years of night shift left me with two sleep disorders, serious depression, obesity, high cortisol levels, ruined feet & back. At 53 i just can't do it anymore and that's just fine with me. Getting back to a daytime life has not cured any of my issues but I feel better now that my life is more regulated. My attitude is happier, less irritable, and I don't fall asleep during the day anymore.

 

[Imzadi]

I have heard it said that driving sleepy is every bit as dangerous as driving drunk.

In some states, there are very harsh laws about this. If you hit someone the laws are just as bad as driving drink, like vehicular manslaughter, especially when they find driving impaired like that is a normal occurence.

 

[jfoofj]

Work nights for over 22 years. Always turned off everything until this year. Now I have my cell phone programmed to ONLY ring for DD's school number or her cell phone. DD-13 had to show me how to do it, of course I set all of my contacts to one specific "default" ring. Then, I set the school's and her cell number to a different specific "special" ring. Then, when I go to sleep, I set the phone for "no ring" - but that apparantly only applies to the contacts with "default" rings, so the ones with "special" rings will still be heard. Follow me? I don't get it either, but it works!

I did think about getting another cell just for emergencies, until my 13 year old schooled me on something better

Ok.... I never knew you could do this.... I asked DH about it and he figured out how to do it on my phone (I'm kind of techno-stupid). I programed in a few select #'s to ring when the ringer is off.... Thank you so much, I had no idea this was possible! I had considered the 2nd cell phone idea, but it seemed like such a pain in the butt and I have had the same cell phone # since 1995 so I would hate to have to give people a different # at this point.

I have had some health issues too that my primary care dr said can be exacerbated by night shift work.... I will probably go to days at some point, when the kids don't need someone to get them on and off buses and can be home unsupervised, but for the time being the shift just works for me in all aspects except for sleep.

And yes, driving tired is VERY dangerous which is why I really try to protect my uninterrupted sleep. When I get good sleep I am completely fine and have no problem getting through the shift and ride home... when I sleep 4 hours a day for 3 straight days straight I come apart at the seams!

Thanks fellow night shifters and family members for the ideas!

 

[yoopermom]

My DH works 6pm-6am four in a row weekly, and we resolve this issue by having...

"Terri the Pitbull" guarding the home

Seriously, I'm on layoff, and I guard his sleep, because I know how hard it is for him at his age to sleep days. My in-laws still do *not* get it, but I answer the phone during the day, and they no longer come up to visit/stay on his workdays, it just doesn't work. They probably resent the heck out of me, but, oh well....

Terri
(the Pitbull Yooperwife)