Top 10 Reasons Why Jacob Would Make a Better Boyfriend Than Edward
10. Edward is perfect. He's smarter than Bella. He's better looking than Bella. He never makes a mistake. Maybe some girls are into perfection but personally, I find it boring. Would you really want to spend the rest of your life in the shadow of someone else's perfection? It would drive me crazy never to win an argument, and even crazier to never feel prettier than my boyfriend.
9. Edward drives a Volvo. A Volvo. I'm sorry, but I don't care what year or model it is, a Volvo is still a reliable family vehicle for soccer moms. Jacob's motorcycle that he built himself is so much hotter. Also, when your car breaks down, Jacob can fix it. Edward would probably just want to buy you a new one -– so unimaginative.
8. Edward is no fun. Seriously, when do he and Bella laugh? Um, that's right never. They're too busy living the Greatest Love Story Ever Told to have any fun. Having been in, and somehow escaped alive from, a few Love Stories in my time, I know for sure that a boyfriend who doesn't make you laugh is pointless. Jacob on the other hand, knows how to have a good time. I bet he knows the importance of a good tickle fight, and I bet he'd be a lot of fun to drink with at the beach.
7. Oh yeah, Jacob never abandoned anyone in the woods for "her own good." How many times have you heard that line? Right. And how many times has it actually done you any good? Right. (And Edward lovers, don't yap about how he came back -– if this were real life, Bella would be so salty about the abandonment that they'd definitely have issues down the road.)
6. Jacob is warm, whereas sleeping next to Edward is sort of like sleeping next to a block of ice. I live in the Northwest –- I know the crappy weather Bella's dealing with in Forks. I know how important a warm body can be.
5. You don't have to give up your immortal soul and abandon your family to date Jacob. (Which means you're the type of self-actualized individual who realizes that love is not the same as infatuation and no man, no mater how dreamy is worth selling your soul for -– I wish I'd had a bossy blogger to tell me that at 17.)
4. Jacob doesn't have a crazed bunch of vampires chasing him around trying to kill you. I know he has that friend who maimed his wife, but Jacob hasn't done that. Yet, I think that Bella's life has been in mortal danger in every single book thanks to that dang Edward.
3. Hey, it turns out I'm NOT alone. My friend Lilia totally agrees, Jacob all the way. She has this to contribute: "He's got a pack of hot beasts for all your friends to date." So true! With Edward you'd be doomed to a life of solitude/trying to compete with his annoying "sisters." Pass!
2. "When he turns into a beast his clothes explode off, and we all want that," she adds. Yes. Yes we do. Which brings me to…
1. With Jacob, you can actually get laid. OK, so Stephenie told me once she would never write a sex scene, and given her demographic, that's probably a good thing. But come on. Edward can't even kiss his girlfriend without wanting to kill her.
