New Musical Terms

[Galahad]

In an effort to keep you abreast of the ever-changing world of musical terminology, the National Hemeola Society provides you with some terms with which you should be familiar:

Adagio Fromaggio: To sing in a slow and cheesy manner.
AnDante: A musical composition that is infernally slow.
Angus Dei: To sing with a divine, beefy tone.
Antiphonal: Referring to the prohibition of cell phones in the concert hall.
A Patella: Unaccompanied knee-slapping
Appologgiatura: A composition, solo or instrument, that you regret playing/singing.
Approximatura: A series of notes sung by a performer, not intended by the composer.
Approximento: A musical entrance that is somewhere in the vicinity of the correct pitch.
Bar Line: What musicians form after a concert.
Concerto Grossissimo: A really bad performance.
Coral Symphony: (see Beethoven, Caribbean period).
Cornetti Trombosis Disastrous: The entanglement of brass instruments that can occur when musicians exit hastily down the stage stairs.
Dill Piccolino: A wind instrument that plays only sour notes.
Fermantra: A note that is held over and over and over and….
Fermoota: A rest of indefinite length and dubious value.
Fog Hornoso: A sound that is heard when the conductor's intentions are not clear.
Frugalhorn: A sensible, inexpensive brass instrument.
Gaul Blatter: A French horn player.
Good Conductor: A person who can give an electrifying performance. or, alternative use, one who obeys the orchestra and/or chorus.
Gregorian Champ: Monk who can hold a note the longest.
Kvetchendo: Gradually getting annoyingly louder.
Mallade: A romantic song that's pretty awful.
Molto bolto: Head straight for the ending.
Opera buffa: Musical stage production by nudists.
Poochini Musical: Performance, accompanied by a dog.
Pre-Classical Conservatism: School of thought which fostered the idea, "if it ain't baroque, don't fix it."
Spritzicato: Plucking of a stringed instrument to produce a bright, bubbly sound, usually accompanied by sparkling water with lemon (wine optional).
Tempo Tantrumo: When a young band refuses to keep time with the conductor.
Tincanabulation: The annoying or irritating sounds made by extremely cheap bells.
Vesuvioso: A gradual buildup to a fiery conclusion.
ZZZfortzando: Singing REALLY loud in order to wake up the audience.

 

[Micca]

Good stuff. Here's another one:

crashendo-when a musical selection concludes with a loud cymbal attack.

 

[Galahad]

Good stuff. Here's another one:

crashendo-when a musical selection concludes with a loud cymbal attack.

 

[Tazicket]

 

[GeorgeG]

There's more truth to most of those than you would think. One of our concert band directors sometimes substitutes "Fasto" for Allegro." I'll have to tell him to make sure he keeps tempo with the band at the next rehearsal.

 

[Tinijocaro]

Thanks for this-I just forwarded it to our entire music department.

 

[DizneeMommy]

These are great! I'm sending them to fellow musicians as well.

 

[HSMndLKfan92]

That's great!

 

[Galahad]

I am a freelance woodwind (clarinet, etc) player "after hours". I thought this was particularly good:

Put 10,000 clarinet reeds in a closed room. Put 100 clarinetists in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after six hours.

1. If they are counting the reeds, put them in charge of handing out reeds.
2. If they are recounting them, put them in Accounting.
3. If they have messed up the whole place with the reeds, put them in
marching band.
4. If they are arranging the reeds in some strange order, put them in the
atonal music group.
5. If they are throwing the reeds at each other, change them to
percussionists
6. If they are sleeping, put them in the 3rd clarinet section.
7. If they have broken the reeds into pieces, put them in music paste up.
8. If they are sitting idle, make them majorettes.
9. If they say they have tried all the reeds they still looking for a good
one, send them to Vandoren.
10. If they have already left for the day, make them assistant band
directors.
11. If they are staring out of the window, switch them to flute.
12. If they are talking to each other, and not a single reed has been
moved, make them Band Officers.
13. Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with reeds in such a way
that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Congress.

 

[olena]

Angus Dei: To sing with a divine, beefy tone.

My favorite....

 

[Golf4food]

"Gaul Blatter: A French horn player."

Hey... we don't blat...

 

[Briarmom]

 

[My2Cinderellas]

Love it! thanks for sharing

 

[LuvN~Travel]

You know, I think we may have experienced a few of these back in my school band days! Thanks for sharing! lol
Kim