Never Shopping Again - Update in Post #1

[hinodis]

I am sorry you had to go through this I am a big chicken and I would have freaked out. I live in a very small town and have to travel to a city to shop at Target or Kroger. I stopped going alone at night a long time ago. Its not even a bad part of town, I just do NOT trust anyone. I will go alone in the daytime, who knows if that makes a difference? Probably not.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Just a thought... Could it be these employees didn't call the police only because they've been told not to by their management? due to "policy"? They might be grateful for customers who are proactive as they feel they can't be. Most shoe stores where I live have young, starter-job employees who just have to follow the rules set up by others. Might be the reason for the disappearing salesmen and the "just pretend he's not there" attitude of the sales-girl.
oh, and hope you have your cell phone on you all the time now. Not being able to call for help yourself definately made a bad situation worse. Personally, I have a handbag with little pockets where my cell phone and my taser (shhh, don't tell!) are easily accessible to me.

Your kids will learn a lot from how you handle this situation. More than you could ever teach them. You never know, this could prepare them to deal with a bigger issue in the future. Hope it's a one time thing, but you can use it as a teaching tool.

Me too, but I carry mace on my key chain. It's nice to know I have it and can protect the children and myself. I keep my keys in my hand if we are in the park walking trails or in my coat pocket. If they made a taser for key chains, I'd get one of those too. Hmmm. I'll have to look into that!

 

[PiratesRock]

Don't know about keychain tasers, but I do have a key ring that's shaped like a cat head. It's plastic and you put your fingers through the "eyes" and point the "ears" outward. Works a little like brass nuckles (sp?) but made completely of plastic. Without it, I couldn't fight a 90 year old and win! With it, I could actually hurt somebody! $7.50 on e-bay.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Don't know about keychain tasers, but I do have a key ring that's shaped like a cat head. It's plastic and you put your fingers through the "eyes" and point the "ears" outward. Works a little like brass nuckles (sp?) but made completely of plastic. Without it, I couldn't fight a 90 year old and win! With it, I could actually hurt somebody! $7.50 on e-bay.

I never heard of that! What's it called?

 

[Deanna64]

I am sorry to hear this happened to you, it would have scared the bejeezers out of me also.

I think the cashier ignored him due to the fact that he was probably looking for confrontation. Which would have made the situation worse. I work in a ER and we get these wack jobs all the time. We keep our cool and hope they calm down. Now if he would have came into the store waving a gun, that would have been a different story.

I can understand your stress and thats why you went home and let it all out. Its over and done with, think how you could have handled it differently and what to do in another situation like this. Its always best to be prepared.

I would also definately talk to your child about it, get his reaction and see if hes really ok.

Glad your ok....

 

[Pixie Dust for Me!]

To all who say, don't worry...I say you are DEAD wrong! I grew up in a suburb of St. Louis where a mild mannered man who obviously had a few screws loose (and yep, I knew him and never would have thought he could have done this) shot and killed several people at City Hall.

Maybe this time it was just him yelling....after all, the guy I knew brayed at the City Council for more than 3 minutes....but next time, it could get worse.

To address strange behavior with complacency is to deny that "bad things" can happen where you live. Believe me, they can and do happen anywhere.

Glad everyone is OK. OP, stick to your instincts.

 

[fkj2]

Tinker'n'fun, I would have been upset too if I were in your position - especially since your son was there. How were you supposed to know this nutter-butter was "harmless"? Who says the next time he makes an appearance at that store he could totally go off and hurt someone? If the store cannot take action to keep their customers safe by calling the police, they have no right to stay in business. Who would want to shop there in the future if they allow this person to harass their customers? Definitely talk to the management - and don't hold back either.

Exactly. I'm surprised that a store would assume such a liability. A personal injury attorney would have a field day. It's unfortunate that anyone has mental problems but the store personnel are hardly qualified to evaluate potential risk. Mental health care in the US is pathetic. We've certainly had enough examples nationally to illustrate that.

That any store would rather dismiss a disturbed individual's behavior rather than request public authorities to manage the situation, what IS that about? If police had been called, maybe that poor soul could have been held for treatment. But why would any retailer risk 1) potenially injuring customers or 2) looking disturbed themselves for failing to address the situation.

By doing nothing, they really spoke volumes about how they feel about not only themselves, but their customers and those in society who need help and medical attention.

 

[Jennifer823]

The employees must have known this guy and of his "issues," but that doesn't excuse them from allowing him to scare you like that. If they knew him as being harmless and he did this before, they should have sent someone to the door as soon as he showed up to escort him out.

I would tell the district manager or whoever you speak to with the company that there is a security issue at this store. You were made to feel uncomfortable by a person who the employees knew was a problem and yet they did nothing. I would tell them that unless they hired a security guard or took other measures to make sure this guy wasn't threatening you would not be shopping there again. Regardless of whether anything actually "happened," they have a responsibility to create a safe environment for their customers, and apparently they didn't care about that at all! Give them a piece of your mind

 

[happygirl]

To all who say, don't worry...I say you are DEAD wrong! I grew up in a suburb of St. Louis where a mild mannered man who obviously had a few screws loose (and yep, I knew him and never would have thought he could have done this) shot and killed several people at City Hall.

Maybe this time it was just him yelling....after all, the guy I knew brayed at the City Council for more than 3 minutes....but next time, it could get worse.

To address strange behavior with complacency is to deny that "bad things" can happen where you live. Believe me, they can and do happen anywhere.

Glad everyone is OK. OP, stick to your instincts.

Did this just happend maybe a month ago?? didn't this man have a beef over the council over some tickets where he sued the council and lost

 

[Pixie Dust for Me!]

Yes, it happened about a month ago. My point is not what this man's "beef" was about...it was the fact that when someone behaves strangely and it makes you uncomfortable, don't just "brush" it off as a "harmless" nut-case. Things have a way of escalating and the problem for us all is we never know when things will reach a flash point.

Good luck dealing with the store.

 

[FoundMyPrince]

Regardless of whether the employees see this person as a threat or not, you saw him as a threat and the store is obligated to take care of you while there. In a day when people are being shot at in Wendy's and Lane Bryant, I'm not sure we can be so passive in these situations.

 

[Daydreamer64]

I have decided to go to the local police station and file an incident report.

I would consider him a child and a young child at that. Boys are allowed to be scared and I am very proud of him for coming to me and telling me how he felt.

12yo boys are not little adults- he and his mother were frightened and I am sure that my sons would react the same way.

I asked the young lady behind the counter to call but she refused. I didn't go get the manager because I pretty much froze in my spot and was covering up my son behind me.

I wonder if you could bring some kind of charges against her or the store for NOT allowing you to access the police or taking measures to call for protection. You were held against your wishes, in their store, by a stranger ( apparently an unstable one at that ) and the non-calling staff and no one did anything.

I live near Atlanta and have seen plenty of things happen. We were playing in the park and a friend's little son was shot when learning to ride his bike - he died a few hours later. I still wish that I had called the police when I noticed the group of "kids" that gave off a bad vibe- always listen to your heart.

Don't worry that people minimize this situation- it's easy to comment if you haven't been in the same kind of situation. I was robbed at gun point 4 times over the years that I worked for our local grocery store and believe me- we didn't wait when the town loons came in to entertain us- you never know if "this" time will might be the one that they kill someone.

 

[Esmerelda]

Ok...always remember there are two ways to view every story.

From the OP point of view; she was out shoe shopping with her son and suddenly this man appears in the door acting eratically. She said he was shouting and blocking the door. Did he have any sort of weapon? Did he purposely not let anyone leave or was he just in the door? This could have looked very intimidating had the OP not had a clue as to whom this person was. As a previous poster stated, if you feel threatened, then you should call the police.

From the employees perspective; oh yea, there's crazy Harry again. He is always roaming around the plaza somewhere and yelling. He is really not supposed to be here. We aren't sure if he is mentally not right or what exactly the deal is but he does this all the time, we are so used to it. There is no need for alarm as he is harmless (other than loud and pottymouthed)

Of course my story is totally fiction but I'm trying to show that the same situation can be viewed totally different by people involved. The OP felt threatened and the workers see this person weekly.

I work in an emergency room and we have regular (as in mental patients) that the police bring a couple of times a month that to some visitors would seem quite threatening but they are harmless and we know that. We just do our job and they calm down.

To the OP, anytime you feel threatened by all means call for help. These employees may have been instructed by their superiors or the police not to call on this guy again...its hard to speculate. They could have perhaps explained to you better why they reacted as they did.

I hope this helps the OP. I understand you were scared I guess I'm just to used to this type of people. We have even had patients walk into the ER before with a loaded gun on their side (and this was not discovered until they were in the back). I'm just glad that there was no one hurt. I hope the manager of the store would call you and discuss the situation with you as there may be more to the story.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Just an update, I did not receive a call on Friday or today, on Monday I will call back and make sure that I speak with the District Manager and upward if I have to. The police dept took the incident report and were NOT aware of a problem at that store or with this person... It must be an internal thing at the store.. DH took me to another of these "shoe stores" in another part of town and I returned the one pair of shoes that needed to be exchanged.

To all the posters who have been so nice even if you didn't agree with my opinion, thank you very much. It was a shock for me to be "ouched" by some of the poster right after the situation but the nice poster outweigh any comments that hurt.. If I had to post again, I wouldn't change a thing. Thanks again for all the support.

 

[ado121]

i am so sorry that this happened to you and i am disappointed in the reactions of people on this board.

my thoughts are with you and your son. how awful it must have been for him to endure this and for you have him suffer like that.

i too, would have been stunned. you did the right thing by asking the store clerk to call the police. the store clerk should have said more to you than 'no'.

please let us know what the district manager says when he/she calls.

you have my total support!

 

[Vivianne]

I lived in NYC most of my life and despite being from a city, I would report this incident too.

At my place of work, we're expected to report these types of incidents for the record.

No one can predict what an erratic person is going to do. As we have witnessed in the news lately. It might take one little thing to trigger a person that has mental problems or even just plain anger issues.

This store has to rethink how they handle this situation and try to avoid potential problems in the future.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

I guess I was over dramatic about the shopping thing, but I was definetely scared. I just won't go alone at night anymore... And we do have to eat so boycotting grocery shopping probably won't fly around here.. Even though I would like to try.

When you let situations like this circumscribe your life you give these people power.

Don't make your world smaller because of fear.

And I speak from experience here; I've been in some VERY scary situations in my life. You can't close yourself off from the world...

 

[lila]

I completely, completely understand how the OP is feeling.

I live in a very nice area of NYC. Last year I ducked around the corner to a popular, trendy clothing and accessories store to pick something up, and didn't take my cell. While I was in the store a huge, violent fight broke out outside the store. The employees locked the glass doors (it was all glass) and the fight took place outside the store, up against all the glass windows. I have never, NEVER felt so trapped. The store personnel would not call 911, I didn't have my cell, and I actually took the store phone from the employees, but couldn't get an outside line. I finally convinced an employee to use their cell to dial 911. All the other people in the store gathered around the windows to watch, but I went to the back of the store (there was no other exit I could find). It was very scary, and I have never felt like that before. I cannot imagine how frightened I would have been if a threat had occurred IN the store itself.

 

[Cindy B]

When you let situations like this circumscribe your life you give these people power.

Don't make your world smaller because of fear.

And I speak from experience here; I've been in some VERY scary situations in my life. You can't close yourself off from the world...

MTE!

If you wind up fearful, you are stuck in your house, within a very smaller world.

The world is good, bad and ugly. To close off frm the "bad and scary" parts does not do much to expand your horizons or experiences.

I refuse to let circumstances dictate my choices. I've been in stores where people have yelled, cursed and such. I've been in a store where one customer had sawed off handcuffs! (ALDI).. did I let it bother me? NO.
Do I just move on with my life? YES.

 

[Jennifer823]

If I had to post again, I wouldn't change a thing. Thanks again for all the support.

I think a lot of the people who were nasty about this would have reacted in the same way as you did! Maybe the police will be able to take care of the situation yet - hopefully they will look into it since you filed that report.