Nervous about first trip without DH

[winterman]

DH and I made 9 trips, without kids, to WDW between 1997 and 2011. We had a great time together. We returned home from our last trip in Oct, 2011. 2 1/2 weeks later he was diagnosed with lung cancer. He died 13 weeks later. We were married for 39 years and his loss is devastating but I am trying to get on with my life. Before DH died, my son booked me a flight to Orlando for Dec. 2012. We had accumulated some airline miles, in preparation for our planned retirement and DH had read that the airlines would 'take them back' when they find out that you died.

So I am now trying to psych myself up for my first solo trip anywhere. I got a room only pin in March and booked 6 nights at POP. DH and I stayed there 4 times - it was our favorite resort, in no small part because of the cost.

I'm hoping that once I arrive, I will be able to get out and enjoy myself. I have often done rides by myself (DH refused to ride IASW) and on our first 'us only' trip he got sick and I went to DHS (then MGM) by myself.

I guess I'm hoping that there is someone out there who has been in a similiar situation that can give me some reassurance that I can do this.

Sorry to be such a downer. It does feel good to be back on the Disboards. I went more than 6 months between posts. But I'm not quite ready to put my customary 3 at the end of my post.

 

[Cafeen]

While I haven't had to be in any sort of similar position, there was someone in a similar situation about a month ago who was doing the same thing. Thread is here. Hopefully either she, or someone else who has been through something similar can chime in to give you some tips.

Sorry for your loss, and I hope that your time at Disney can help ease things a bit.

As far as the actual solo aspect of it, I'm a firm believer that there's no place better to start your solo travel than at Disney. Everything comes in a nice neat package (transportation, meals, resort, stuff to do) so you don't have to go and try to keep 1,500 different things straight.

 

[RIdisfan]

Hi and sorry for your loss . We to are thinking that Disney is the best place to start your new life . And that is just what you are doing , starting any thing new is hard but you can so do this ... When are you going ? You can find may people going alone to meet up with if you want or stay by your self if thats what you think is best ( it is all good ) as they say now , just know that what you do is right no one can say why did you do that ... Hope you have fun . We will be thinking of you .

 

[JMR859]

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. Maybe you're not "ready" to go just yet??
I think if you do go, WDW is the ideal place to relive happier days. I think you will get emotional, but in the end, I think you'll be happy you went. Good luck. Let us know how you made out

 

[PumpkinPastie]

Maybe you could arrange to meet up with someone local to WDW to spend the day with so you dont feel so alone. Sometimes its good to just get out and do something. I lost my mother to cancer and I went to Paris because I knew that she would love to go there herself. It was an amazing trip and I felt her presence with me. Good luck.

 

[winterman]

Thank you all for the kind words. I am afraid it may be too soon but I have made a lot of progress in 4 1/2 months. Every week it gets easier to contemplate a trip by myself. And Disney, while it has the most memories, is the place I am most familiar with. I am now starting to think about 'when I go to WDW' rather than 'if I go.'

 

[siouxi31]

I'd like to put my arms around you to offer a warm hug and to say that everything is going to be ok.

Pay attention to your own instinct as to whether it is too soon or not.

I believe with all my heart that those we love are with us even in death. My prayer is that you feel your husband's presence while you are there and that you'll be comforted by it.

 

[Straughn]

I have walked this walk. DH and I were married for 18 years when he passed away from melanoma. We spent our honeymoon at WDW and made an average of two trips a year. (He thought Disney World was a golf resort.) My first solo trip after his death was to WDW 6 months after he died.

Yes, there will be moments of pain and tears; yes there will be lots of memories. For me, it was cathartic. It showed me that I could travel by myself, especially to places where he and I had a lot of history. At that time, there were places and attractions I simply could not do. Now, 5 years later I can. This October will be my fifth consecutive F & W Festival. Last year, I finally made it to the Cali Grill which was his favorite restaurant. Bittersweet, but lots of good memories, and a fabulous meal.

We all handle grief differently. There is no right or wrong way. I can only tell you my experiences, but it sounds to me that you want to face it and move forward.

I will be there in early Dec, over our anniversary and his birthday. If our trips coincide, and if you are up for it, we could spend some time together. Feel free to PM me.

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

so sorry for you loss.

I wanted to mention that it might be a good idea for you to do one of the Disney tours. I would suggest doing the Fort Wilderness segway tour. I did this tour by myself and it was a good experience. You get a chance to meet ours in your group who will be touring and just being with a group of strangers was comforting and fun. I arrived early and the two tour guides and I chatted for a bit before the others arrived.

The keys to the kingdom tour is a good option and you are served lunch with this tour so you would have to dine alone for at least one meal during your vacation!

 

[djblu883]

I haven't seen the dates you are going but will be spending a lot of time alone for my all girl trip in Dec. I have several dining adventures alone and I'd gladly enjoy company. My dates are Dec. 8-15th. I have a freiend who ended up inviting her BFF's entire family to go with us and I'm not real happy about spending my entire vacation time with them. its the perfect time to add another person on ressies now so if you want some company I'm game. My hubby of 20 years isn't able to come with me....I come to WDW solo often! It's really not so bad!!! lol You get up and go where ya want and when ya want...or chill...

 

[Coach K]

I am sorry for your loss. I can say that I've been there, done that. It took me 2 1/2 years after I lost my wife before I could go. I had to keep telling myself that I am on a new adventure in my life. There will be times when your emotions will sometimes get to you, but when those times came, I would try to smile at the memories and the good times that we had.

 

[Ress76]

Hi, I am the "she" who was in a similar position a month or so ago. My solo trip was a little tough at times, but it was mostly somewhere between "better here than at home" and happy. While Disney was not something my husband and I really shared, it is my Happy Place, so I was perfectly content to wander around soaking it in while eating some ice cream.

I wish you peace and strength...just do what you want to do when you want to do it, if you want to get away from the parks, go for it. If you want to sleep in or stay up late, go for it. Play it by ear and you really will be ok.

Ress

 

[FlyingBelle]

Not exactly the same situation, but I used to go with my ex-DH to Disney often - in fact - it was our first "Grown up" vacation (yes, really).

When he left me, I was devistated, but decided I wasn't going to let that ruin my love of Disney and WDW.

My first time back without him, I did a lot of things that we had never done - attractions, restaurants, etc... It helped to build some new memories in my favorite place.

Again, I know it's not the same situation, but it might be a way to help preserve the good memories, and build new ones along side of them.

 

[TavieP]

I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. I'm glad you're feeling more optimistic about your upcoming trip. I don't have similar experiences to share, but I'm feeling for you deeply. I'm facing my first trip to WDW next month, since my mom died unexpectedly last November. She and I went there together at least 2 dozen times out of my 33 total trips, since I was a little girl, and we have so many memories there that I"m a little nervous about being overwhelmed by them. I'm trying to look at them as precious gifts that keep her "with" me.

I know you'll be confronted with memories and they may be painful or bittersweet - but you know, as hectic as it can be, it can also be a place of great relaxation and peace. Find those quiet moments. You know how beautiful Florida sunsets can be. Ride the monorail through the Contemporary resort at sunset, if you can - for some reason, that's one of my favorite views.

I hope you have a great time and post about your trip. You'll be able to set your own pace and schedule, do only what YOU like to do. It has the potential to be a very positive experience. I really, truly hope it is. I'm pulling for you.

 

[winterman]

Thank you all, again for the kind words. To those who extended invitations to spend time with them, I thank you for that, as well. I have a dear friend, from high school, who lives in Orlando. We have resumed correspondence and she has agreed to meet up with me in Dec.. However her schedule is very unpredictable so timing will have to wait and I'll need to keep myself available.

On a very happy note - my first grandchild was born on Sunday - Father's Day - to my DD and DS-i-l. He is a healthy, beautiful boy. I am blessed to be able to be his caregiver when DD goes back to teaching in Sept. He was given his grandfather's name as his middle name. Before DH died he was aware of the pregnancy but not that it was a boy. He would have made a great 'grampy'.

 

[TavieP]

Thank you all, again for the kind words. To those who extended invitations to spend time with them, I thank you for that, as well. I have a dear friend, from high school, who lives in Orlando. We have resumed correspondence and she has agreed to meet up with me in Dec.. However her schedule is very unpredictable so timing will have to wait and I'll need to keep myself available.

On a very happy note - my first grandchild was born on Sunday - Father's Day - to my DD and DS-i-l. He is a healthy, beautiful boy. I am blessed to be able to be his caregiver when DD goes back to teaching in Sept. He was given his grandfather's name as his middle name. Before DH died he was aware of the pregnancy but not that it was a boy. He would have made a great 'grampy'.

MAZEL TOV!!! That's wonderful news, congratulations to you and your DD & DSil!!!

 

[TillyDe]

On a very happy note - my first grandchild was born on Sunday - Father's Day - to my DD and DS-i-l. He is a healthy, beautiful boy. I am blessed to be able to be his caregiver when DD goes back to teaching in Sept. He was given his grandfather's name as his middle name. Before DH died he was aware of the pregnancy but not that it was a boy. He would have made a great 'grampy'.

What great news. I am also a new grandmother. It is an unbeliveable feeling.
Just think - now you can help plan his first trip to Disney. I am going to wait until my Grandson is 5. But I talk to him about it now and he is only 5 months old.