Need to vent

[sue929]

Received a call from my sister, the maid of honor, last night. She told me that when I look for the dress for her and bm get something cheaper ($60 to $70) because they are all spending alot of money to come down to FL for the wedding. How do I respond to her? Please help

 

[kidzmom3]

Could you try to see if its possible to find something nice in that price range? Maybe you will be surprised and find something you love for not that much money. It is a lot of money to fly down to Florida for a wedding. Even if you are a super close family, with love on all sides. Cost is cost. Then after looking, if you truly could not find anything appropriate, then maybe you could have a talk with her and see if you can compromise.

 

[sue929]

That is the problem...I know how much money everyone is spending and I think it was rude of her to say that to me... I have thought about the cost of dresses. In fact I loved a couple of dresses but once I seen the price I walked away. Everyone is complaining about the money....how do I make everyone happy?

 

[hmgolden]

Susie - you will never be able to make everyone happy. My MOH complained for months about how much it was costing her to to go to Disney for my wedding. She ended up making a 10 day vacation out of it, and I am still hearing about how much it cost her!

As for the BM dresses, I set out to find the cheapest possible option, and in the end I found a dress in the color that I wanted at David's Bridal for $110. Not the cheapest dress ever, but cheap for a BM dress. When my MOH went and tried it on, she was only so-so aboout it, and decided to try on another dress that she liked better. That one was $150. In the ended she decided that the wanted the $150 dollar dress.

I am well aware that the wedding was expensive for some of our friends to attend, but part of the reason we had the wedding in Disney was so many family and friends were going to have to travel anyway, we wanted them to get to travel someplace fun, and I have a lot of cousins who are much younger then me, so Disney seemed perfect. In the end our day was wonderful, and only my MOH and BM still complain they are paying the trip off. So I know how upsetting that it can be to constantly hear about the cost. I hope for your sake that your sister comes around. But if not, do your best to have a good time inspite of her. You can't make everyone happy all the time, and your wedding day is the one day you can do what makes YOU happy without worrying about everyone else. I hope you have the wedding of your dreams. I'm sure it will be magical!

 

[keswick1uk]

Pay the additional for them yourself?

They are going to wear and later own a dress you have chosen. They may never wear it again. Indeed they may not even like it. So, if they have a budget I think thats only fair to take account of that. If you really want them to wear something beyond their means then compromise with you paying the extra seems fair to me.

 

[twojo21]

YOU COULD ALSO TRY ONLINE SOURCES & DEPARTMENT STORE MAGAZINES FOR CHEAPER ALTERNATIVES, MY MOH BOUGHT HER DRESS FROM JCPENNEY CATALOG FOR $70.00 AND MY BM BOUGHT HER DRESS FROM BESTPROMDRESS.COM FOR $50.00 BOTH DRESSES ARE A BEAUTIGUL CHIFFON. I MYSELF WAS SURPRISED HOW NICE FOR THE PRICE. HOPE ALL YOUR DRESS PROBLEMS WORK OUT. DEPENDING ON YOUR WEDDING STYLE TOO, YOU CAN GO WITH CLASSIC BLACK DRESS WHICH YOUR BM'S COULD REUSE. BEST OF LUCK.

 

[Miz-chan]

You might want to check places like David's Bridal,,they have $99.00 dress sales quite often,,or try some of your local higher end department stores,,if you take a look as the seasons are changing sometimes you can get great deals.

You can also look into maybe having the dresses made buy a dress maker,,I did this at a friends wedding and it was quite a bit cheaper because we bought the material oursleves.

You might also have your MOH do some research to help save you from pulling all your hair trying to research everything,,have her show you a few styles she likes,,just give her some guidlines that you would like her to follow??

You're probably not going to please everyone,,but you know,,when all is said and done,,everyone will have had a great time,,and always remember your wedding,,*smiles*.

 

[disneylovr1]

I always dreamed of a wedding at WDW, and was very happy when my husband agreed. BUT, he got it into his head that his family isn't as well off as mine(and my family is by no means wealthy), and he said we can only get married there if we pay his families way. After fighting and discussion, I decided tht I really wanted the disney wedding and the money would be worth it. So we essentially gave his mother, grandmother, aunt, and uncle a weeks vacation while my family paid their own way. We had an intimate wedding. We invited one more aunt and uncle of his, and if they had come that would have been 2 ore trips to pay for. Fair? IMHO no, (they could have afforded it if they chose to). Worth it? Yes, b/c i got my wonderful disney wedding!!

 

[LUVTGR]

Sorry you're having to deal w/ this. I was also concerned about the cost of the dress so my MOH and I went shopping together and I let her pick any red dress she wanted. She picked a beautiful dress, but it was more expensive than what I would have picked. The problem came w/ my DF's sister, her 11 yro is the only other BM and instead of buying the dress she was supposed to she bought a dress made of spandex that makes her daughter look like a 3 dollar hooker (excuse my language). B/c she did this last week I had to call every Davids Bridal in OH and PA to find her daughter the right dress and pay for it myself. I'm not going to tell them until the wedding day, b/c I don't want any more problems w/ them. I am surprised everyday at how rude and inconsiderate people can be. I hope everything works out for you and don't let them bother you.

 

[sue929]

Thank you everyone for your advice and tips....I think I am going to tell them to buy any dress they want as long as it is pink and see what happens. You guys are the best THANKS

 

[keswick1uk]

Well done, Sue on being laid back about it. Odds on now they'll spend $200!

 

[Tinkerbelle14]

I'm sorry about this added stress! Hopefully your sister will come around and won't dare to make any financial comments on your wedding day. I will probably be having an intimate wedding and have decided to allow my maid of honour to pick any dress she wishes. I know she has good taste, so I don't really care what colour or style. Hopefully your plan of telling them to find their own pink dress will work and they will realize that this is your special day! Congrats on your wedding!

 

[jessiangel]

Hi Sue. I see we are from the same area. I got my bridal gown and my daughter's MOH gown at Filene's Basement in Downtown Chicago. Have you thought about trying there? They do have some beautiful dresses. I actually bought my gown, which I believe was an ivory prom gown in a size 18, but I am a size 8. I found a great seamstress who is going to work on the dress so it will fit. Don't laugh, but my dress only cost me $9.87. My daughter's dress cost $20, which is a beautiful dress. I saw quite a few beautiful dresses there in all different colors also. Even if she finds one way too big, it can be altered. Just a thought.

 

[Firefly Girl]

I too was going to let my BMs pick out any dress they wanted as long as it was pink... and then I fell in love with a dress in a magazine for them. I asked them to get it but it was way out of my BMs budget, so I sent her $100 to help her pay for it.

 

[Belle's Castle]

All I can offer as support is one comment, this is YOUR wedding. Yes you should consider costs when you look at dresses, but find something that fits the style of wedding. However, most people understand when they accept an inivitation to be in a wedding it will be costly. AS I plan my own wedding, it is almost daily that I find myself saying, this is MY wedding. This is the thing that keeps me going when my BMs or MOH or mother drive me nuts. So in crazy times remember, 2 things
1. This is YOUR wedding .
2. Everything will work out.