Need to vent....SIL driving me nuts..

[emsip]

MY SIL is screwing up months of planning...

Background info:
My family and I are going to WDW at the end of the month. The group is my wife, son, FIL, MIL, and me. I told my in-laws that I would cover all expenses for them, as a thank you for my MIL taking care of my son during the day. In February, I book a 2br at VWL. Since there is room, my wife asks my SIL is she would like to come. We tell her that we have the room covered and she would have to pay for her own expenses such as tickets and food. She says that she is too busy at work and declines the invite. So from that point I continue the plans for 5 people.

Here is where the stress begins:
Early last month, she tells us that she will be coming with us and her fiance too . So after making all my ADR's for 5, I had to change them to 7. Of course there were no tables for 7 available at the same restaurants for the same time. So I end up having to completely redo my schedule. I am still going to the same restaurants, just not on the exact day or time I originally wanted.

After re-doing my schedule, I thought the stress was over. Well the stress fairy decided to stop by my house last night. My DW was talking to my SIL and asked her if she was going to buy tickets ahead of time or just get them at the park. Here comes the shocker. My SIL asks why she would need tickets to the park since we will already be in the park. Apparently she thought that the hotel being in WDW means that the hotel is in the park and that those staying in the WDW hotels get to go into the parks for free. She then tells my DW that she can't afford to buy the tickets because she is saving up for her wedding. This is her way of hinting to my DW that perhaps we can pay for her and her fiance's tickets. I tell my DW that we are not buying their tickets.

So at this point, all 7 of us are still going to WDW. But only 5 of us are actually going to the parks. My SIL said that she and her fiance are just going to hang around the resorts and any place else that is free. I have no problem going to the parks without them, but I know that my DW is not going to be happy leaving her sister behind.

I know my DW is going to feel guilty going to the parks without her sister. I am just going to have to keep reminding her that the trip is for us and our son. Not for her sister and fiance.

Thanks for letting me rant...

10 days 16hours 59minutes until

 

[JimFitz]

Ouch! That's a tough one. I bet when they get there and see everyone going off to the Parks, they will buy some tickets and go with you. I would not by there tickets, but it depends on how close your wife is to her sister.

 

[bobbiwoz]

If this were us, I would buy my Dsis and probably her fiance some sort of ticket as an early Christmas present. I would decide on the price we could spend and tell my Dsis, and let her decide if that's going to be it, or if she would be able to add to it for more days.

My Dsis is my dearest friend, so that has to be taken into consideration. However, if she/he decide that our present will be it, than I could go into the parks without them on the other days. There are lots of things to do without going into the parks. As I say this, maybe just a MNSSHP ticket could be gotten, it's less expensive than a single day, and something you all can do together.

Bobbi

 

[LIFERBABE]

Good Luck with that one!

 

[Deb & Bill]

Where are SIL and future BIL going to sleep? Will they get the sleeper sofa in the living room or share the 2nd bedroom with MIL and FIL. Or does SIL sleep with MIL and FIL and FBIL sleep on the sleeper sofa alone? How old is your son?

Can't FBIL purchase the tickets for the two of them? He's getting a free vacation from you already.

 

[dianeschlicht]

I guess I would ask MIL and FIL if THEY wanted to give SIL an early Christmas gift. Maybe if all of you pool what you would spend on a gift and give it to them to make up the difference for the cheapest ticket you can get for the number of days they would go.

Wow, I just hate free-loaders, and that's what I think people are who make assumptions about invitations. We always make it very clear that we are only providing accommodations, and I even tell the invited guests how much tickets cost and what to expect for food costs etc.

 

[disneykidatheart]

Oh boy, I feel for you. Just goes to show no good deed goes unpunished! What does your sister look like? DH and I will be there at the same time and I would like to avoid her. You will be easy to spot--I will look for someone gritting his teeth with smoke coming from his ears!

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

sorry you are going through this! just stick to your guns and DO NOT buy the tickets, otherwise you will find yourself buying food....snacks..drinks....etc...

 

[emsip]

Deb... My son is 14 months. My SIL and her fiance are sleeping in the living room. You would think that FBIL would buy the tickets, but he has not said anything. The funny part is that FBIL makes more money than me and should be able to afford the tickets.

Bobbi... We are leaving on 9/30 so we won't be there for MNSSHP.



I am just annoyed that I planned everything in advance based on what I thought my 1yr DS would enjoy. This meant that most of time we would be in MK. Now instead of a relaxing vacation, I know my DW will be trying to think of ways that my SIL could be included in the activities.

 

[bobbiwoz]

I hear you, I do hope you have a good time. Your heart is in the right place, offering to treat your parents-in-law and planning this special time together.

I think the magic will take hold, Pixie Dust for you all!

Bobbi

 

[rocketriter]

"You would think that FBIL would buy the tickets, but he has not said anything. The funny part is that FBIL makes more money than me and should be able to afford the tickets."

You probably need to bring this up with FBIL and not wait for him to let it slide past him. Tell him the plan, as it is, is not realistic and that he should be prepared to pick up park tickets if necessary. Make it clear that your gift is the room.

 

[wintergreen]

Yeeshh. . . . Pixie dust!!!

 

[JimFitz]

Does FBIL know what's going on? Maybe he is just going about his daily life and has no clue that all this is going on around him. I mean he knows he is going, but maybe he does not know that his future wife is not considering buying tickets.

Have you talked to FBIL?

 

[Dean]

Predictable. Don't be surprised if they back out last minute with a few last minute jabs basically that it's your fault. Or worse, they do go and make you miserable the entire time.

 

[Beach_Bound9]

Where are SIL and future BIL going to sleep? Will they get the sleeper sofa in the living room or share the 2nd bedroom with MIL and FIL. Or does SIL sleep with MIL and FIL and FBIL sleep on the sleeper sofa alone? How old is your son?

I'm certainly not one of the members of the room occupancy fanatics, but given the stress your describing and the number of adults your listing, I would make sure there is plenty of space for all. Crowded accomodations and stressful plans sound like a recipie for problems. Perhaps a sit down hart to hart with SIL and Fiance prior to the trip would help, with a complete description of the costs involved. It sounds as if she is really not familiar with how the whole operation works if she mistakenly thought park tickets were included. If not already in your plans, perhaps a separate room at a less expensive resort would be helpful, giving you both space to do as you would like to do on the vacation. It would allow you to have separate plans much easier. If your in the same accomodations and room with such different plans, there is greater potential for problems. Naturally, you'll certainly want this new couple to have plenty of privacy.

I know we skimped in our early years, can't blame them for that, after all WDW is expensive. I could see how someone would have trouble affording park tickets. Heck, I think that is one of the nice advantages of Vero and HH.

I wouldn't jump to condemming you SIL because of her lack of knowledge of how WDW works or assume she will back out and blame you. Perhaps this is a good opportunity for frank and open discussion to benefit you both and get this new family relationship (a la fiance) off to a good start.

The advice regarding early christmas presents for some of the days sounds like a good idea and helpful.

Best wishes.

 

[Deb & Bill]

Beachbound, I don't think emsip even thought about bringing them along in the first place. His wife just asked her sister if she would like to join the family on the trip because they had room and the sister invited her boyfriend along. Why should emsip try to get them something for themselves and put our more for them when they weren't even in the original plans? Especially this late in the game. He's not paying for a pre-honeymoon for them. He's paying for a trip to WDW for his family and his son's grandparents. He's just being a nice guy and going along with this new inconvenience.

Let them buy their own tickets. Let them contribute towards the food and meals (watch out, emsip, they'll stick you with the dinner bill, too). You may need to let them know that they will be sleeping in the living room and will not have a private room to themselves. That alone may resolve part of the problem and they might decide not to go.

Yeah, a complete heart to heart with SIL and her BF needs to take place pretty soon, so SIL can see what kind of cash she will need to take along with her. Or so that she can back out ahead of time.

I feel for you, emsip. For your sake I hope sis backs out.

 

[Beach_Bound9]

Why should emsip try to get them something for themselves and put our more for them when they weren't even in the original plans? Especially this late in the game. He's not paying for a pre-honeymoon for them. He's paying for a trip to WDW for his family and his son's grandparents. He's just being a nice guy and going along with this new inconvenience.

Well, that's a good point. I would still recommend having plenty of space and enough privacy for the couple given the number of adults, not at emwip's expense to your point. There are usually some excellent deals on the WDWinfo.com site for hotels which may be in the couple's price range.
http://www.wdwinfo.com/discounts.html#hm-discounts-nav
(Raddisson Main Gate for $59)
I don't know the accomodations (nor do I need to) they are planning, just who is potentially attending. Even if it's a two bedroom, I wouldn't try to squeeze too many adults in there given the circumstance. While not an occupancy fanatic, a family with children is one thing, many adults is another IMO.

I recognize how may have offered accomodations courtesy of thier DVC ownership and end up being taken advantage of. I hope that doesn't end up being the case here. We have been fortunate that when we have offered it has been recognized for the gift that it represents.

Agreed on that hart to hart soon.

Best wishes.

 

[MEK]

Maybe someone should give your SIL a book about Disney. Then she can read about the rides and attractions and see what she will be missing if she doesn't go to the park. I would tell her that it is ridiculous to go to WDW and not go in the parks. I would not buy her tickets (unless you really did want to give them as a Christmas present). I would give her the tools she needs to educate herself about the trip. If she really can't afford park tickets then she certainly isn't going to want to spend $ going out to dinner everynight. I would be careful about that.

Good Luck - Your trip could be very stressful unless you are all on the same page. Does she have any idea how lucky she is to get such nice accomodations paid for? Oh well - I guess you will need to make the best of it and learn for the future.

_________________________________________________________
Max is my favorite cat!

 

[crisi]

I feel for you. Seems you were fine up front - explained the expenses they'd incur. They said no, now they seem to have forgotten about all the expenses with the yes.

Have your vacation for your son. He'll be one once. If your SIL wants to sit by the pool - let her. Your MIL gets to choose whether she gets to spend time watching her grandson meet Pooh or watching your SIL sit by the pool.

 

[rsschneck]

We have "been there, done that" We are now using our points for ourselves! With the exception of my parents and Hubbies Mom. The rest of our families can "get bent". Sorry! Love our families, but the expectations are too high! We end up being miserable and talking about them. I LOVE my DVC too much to not have a good time.

Have a good trip regardless of what happens with SIL and FBIL.