Need to vent bl**dy SIL - UPDATE and final straw!

[Beep]

Sorry guys, but I really need to get this off my chest.

I posted a while back about my SIL and that we were worried about her getting drunk at our wedding lunch and/or dinner. We don't drink but appreciate that other people like wine with their meal and have no problem with buying wine. However, SHE drinks like a fish and we were worried about her getting drunk and, more importantly, costing us a fortune. We are going with all your suggestions and having a set number of bottles.

Anyway, she came out with another little gem that got me really annoyed.
We were talking about colours for the wedding and I said our colours were white black and claret red. She said she had a red jacket that she could wear and you should have heard the silence when I said we would like to reserve those colours for the wedding party. She assumed that as she was my SIL she was the wedding party - err, no. That's us two and my Mom and Dad who we are really close to.

We were then talking about the plans and my folks are going to be stopping in a villa. It is about 45 minutes from Disney (a friend of my Dad's has got a villa and has offered it to them) and SHE comes out with a comment about my brother and her staying as far from Disney as they can and they have no intention of going to any of 'those' places.

She made comments about it being a childish place, mega-touristy etc and that they would probably only stop for a few days around the wedding before they went to NY. Suits us fine but how rude can you be?!

OK, not everyone is a Disney nut and there is so much more in Florida but what really got me is that we have chosen to have our wedding at SBP, lunch at the GF and then dinner in Epcot followed by Illuminations. It is our favourite place on Earth and how dare she come out with a comment like that. We are paying for everything on the day and the only thing we have asked is that people have entrance to Epcot for the evening meal.

Everyone (except one) is going from the UK and only one of them is a Disney-ite. My Mom and Dad went years ago and fell in love with Epcot and they can't wait. It's just her.

She says things like 'Our wedding was at a Heritage site and so authentic' and 'I thought our wedding was so classy' and so on. I'm sorry but you don't get much more classy than the GF in our book!

She is so judgemental and mouthy - if she says one wrong thing on the day there are 10 people geared up to smack her one. Me included - can you imagine the headlines? 'Disney bride knocks guest out at SBP'. She is the only one that is like this and I really wish she wasn't going. I'm not talking about anything to do with the wedding with her anymore.

In fact, I might just tell her it is at SeaWorld!

*deep breathe* Rant over. Thank you

 

[orangetiggs]

dont let her get you down! we have so many people feel like that and it annoys us *** I think how can you say things like that and never been there. I have a few people that I feel like our wedding is interferring with their holiday!!

I am at the point now where I think I dont care less! They can do what they like and if they dont want to see what disny has to offer its their loss!

We have people that we would love to come over but cant *** they cant afford it and are devestated.

Dont let her effect your wedding, its your day

 

[alissa2008]

I agree with Sarah. There will always be downers and people with views like *ahem, dare I say* knotties. This is YOUR day, F@#$ everyone else!!

 

[cseca]

Oy vey!
You poor thing...
Take a deep breath ...

Just wondering, between now and the wedding can you avoid her?
Seriously...
To plan your day from far away with everyone support is hard enough, let alone having someone like that to burst your bubble.
I know you probably can't avoid her totally, but maybe if you just tell your brother stuff instead of her you can reduce your frustration.

Sometimes I wonder why people do things like that. It's not their wedding. They don't have to like it... sheesh... maybe she's jealous...

 

[2BoysMom]

I hope this helps, but almost everyone experiences at least one person who has nothing nice to say about their wedding, even if it is not a Disney wedding.

I got married in Washington, DC on New Years Eve in 2001. My nay-sayer was my MAID OF HONOR. She did practically everything to sabotage my wedding, every aspect including bridal shower, etc. As someone mentioned previously, it is probably just jealousy, as I believe it was in my case. My MOH was already happily married, but seemed to think her wedding was "the best." I think when she was how nice mine was turning out (including a non-planned taping for Good Morning America) she was overcome with jealousy.

Her behavior hurt me at the time, and I certainly didn't know this dark side of her personality or I would NEVER have asked her to be my MOH, but my point is that there is ALWAYS SOMEONE who has an issue with every wedding, whether Disney or not.

I'm jealous that you are HAVING a Disney wedding but in a good way! Have fun. So many of your guests will, and they will tell you it was the best wedding they have ever gone to. Mark my words!

 

[IndyBride]

I'm sorry this one person is causing undue stress for you! You should be having the time of your life! I hope that things do not get worse and you ean enjoy your wedding! Is there someone that can talk to her? Perhaps she doesn't realize how her negative comments are hurting you.

 

[Beep]

Thank you for your kind words. Maybe she is jealous, I don't know, but I hope that she has a fantastic time at our wedding - seriously. I don't want to hear for years afterwards about how tacky and touristy it was!

You're right, there is always one and at my wedding years ago it was my MIL. Didn't like this, didn't want that etc. My OH told her to either go or not go, he wasn't bothered but just to shut up. It worked!

I am going to avoid talking about the wedding with her. Ah, actually, I think I know what it is! My brother is really interested in what we are doing as when he went to Orlando Epcot wasn't built and he can't wait to see it. I reckon that's what it is.

Oh well...

 

[tlhbdm]

I'm sorry you are going through this. She sounds like my Mother-in-law. Trust me I had to deal with almost the same situation as you but a mix between two people. I would just try to ignore her, tell her if she doesn't want to be happy then she doesn't need to come. I had to tell three of my family members that if they weren't going to be happy for me and not be rude or make a scene then they didn't need to come. I almost had to tell someone to leave. Again I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

 

[pink_tink8i8]

Sorry to hear about your sil Alex Her comments were just rude and inconsiderate. She shouldn't wear red if you said that that colour was reserved for the wedding party. If she doesn't like disney then fine but to say those comments..that's just not nice, considering you are getting married there, it;s like she is putting you down. Just try to ignore her and enjoy your day.

 

[figmentcookie]

I'm sorry to hear about this too. Why does there always have to be one of "those" people involved in the wedding, I agree with 2BoysMom.

Let me try and amuse you with a story to take your mind off of her for a little.

So for me, the person that always has something unpleasant to say is my future MIL's sister, we'll call her Miss B. She's the type of person that always has something unpleasant to say. I'll give you a few examples. When I moved into my new apartment, I put a lot of thought into what color to paint the walls so it would match my furniture and curtains (I'd never been a place where I could paint before, so I was excited!) I picked a nice neutral tan that went with everything and I was happy with my choice. So, Miss B walks in, comments on the neighborhood I live in, then says with her best southern drawl "You know what color this wall is, figmentcookie, it's squirrel butt brown!" and threw her head back and laughed. Another example is the time she met my mother during my DF's graduation from graduate school. After my mother went home after the graduation, she looked at me straight in the eye, She said, "You know what figmentcookie? Your mother was," she paused dramatically and rolled her eyes back and forth, searching for the right word, "interesting."

So here's the story. My MOH was moving into a new apartment, so my DF and I were helping her move, starting at 8 am on a Saturday morning. At 8:35, DF gets a call from Miss B. She demands, "It's an emergency, I need to talk to figmentcookie now!" Utterly confused, and just wanting to get the move over as quickly as possible, he hands the phone over to me without a second thought.

She says, "Now figmentcookie, I just had a dream about your wedding and you made some serious mistakes. I just woke up and had to call you immediately to warn you ensure that these things will not happen." I had no time to process that comment, it was still early in the morning. What did she mean by that? I said, "Sure, what's on your mind." She drawls, "Well, I dreamt that you were walking down the aisle during your wedding. You looked lovely. BUT, I thought your dress was way over the top. I mean, the dress itself was nice, but the lights you had installed into the skirt were incredibly tacky. Honey, you just cannot do that. I do not agree with your decision to add christmas lights to your dress."

At that point, all my dream of dressing up as the blue fairy from the electric light parade during my wedding were dashed in a cruel reality check. Does that mean DF shouldn't have Elliot the Dragon as his BM? Oh, wait, that wasn't my dream, it was hers.

She continued, "Now also, I need to discuss your choice in bridesmaid dresses with you. While the electric blue dress you picked out in my dream was fine, the head-dresses that you were making them wear was just terrible..." At that point, I cut her off, telling her that I appreciated her input... but I just had to help my MOH (I was in charge of holding the door open, after all and that requires a large amount of concentration).

If she hadn't called my DF later in the day to warn him against my wedding apparel choices, brought it up each of the three times I saw her after that, and called my future MIL, I might have thought it was a joke. Isn't that just... incredibly weird??

Unfortunately, she won't be able to make it down to the wedding. Poo.

 

[Chedstro]

OMG! Figmentcookie - I have tears running down my face from laughing! I called my DH into the room to read your post, he cracked up as well.

OP, please just take your sil at face value and slap her silly. She is not worth a minute of your time. Get on with your wonderful wedding and have a magical time

 

[Chilly]

Don't stress over it Alex, I know its hurtful but shes probably just jealous. If she says something negative such as, "Disney is so Childish" just be positive and reply "Thats why I love it" as she probably wants to get you to argue with her in an attempt to ruin this for you. Just keep smiling and picture the castle in your head.

 

[Beep]

Thanks guys, words of wisdom there.

It's a real shame that the one person we don;t want there we have no say over. We originally just wanted us two and my Mom and Dad but they felt uncomfortable with that because my brother is family blah blah blah. I totally don't have a problem with him going but where he goes, she goes.

I think he should put her in the cattery with the two cats they have and come out on his own. He gets as embarrassed with her as we do so I'm sure he wouldn't have a problem with that. Heck, we'll even pay for the cattery!

Right, I'm taking your advice and ignoring her.

 

[Beep]

Sorry to resurrect this but I had to give you an update. We went for dinner with my brother and the harpie last week and she had the bl**dy cheek to say that she feels left out of the wedding plans!

I nearly said something I regretted and it was only for my brothers peace that I didn't. Can you believe that?!

 

[A whole new world]

The wedding planning is nothing to do with her. Dis you have input into her wedding?!

I think your wedding day will be just fine. There is enough people there so if she does start someone will say something. You could have a word with your brother and tell him to warn her not to say anything on the day.

A few people have told me 'your weddings tacky and not a real wedding because its Disney'. Thats jealousy were having the wedding of our dreams. Not everyone can have what were having which makes our unique. These mean people are all just jealous. When i think of it like that it gives me great satisfaction.

Your poor brother

 

[Lynn5700]

Sorry to resurrect this but I had to give you an update. We went for dinner with my brother and the harpie last week and she had the bl**dy cheek to say that she feels left out of the wedding plans!

I nearly said something I regretted and it was only for my brothers peace that I didn't. Can you believe that?!

oh boo hoo what a freaking little jealous brat.....I dealt with a jealous bratty SIL who was miserable at my shower and wedding and made herself look like a jealous brat by the way she acted.

Don't let her get to you,just ignore her like I ignored mine.

Hopefully she won't wear white socks to your wedding without shoes like mine did. ugh that still irks me lol.

 

[Beep]

The wedding planning is nothing to do with her. Dis you have input into her wedding?!

I think your wedding day will be just fine. There is enough people there so if she does start someone will say something. You could have a word with your brother and tell him to warn her not to say anything on the day.

A few people have told me 'your weddings tacky and not a real wedding because its Disney'. Thats jealousy were having the wedding of our dreams. Not everyone can have what were having which makes our unique. These mean people are all just jealous. When i think of it like that it gives me great satisfaction.

Your poor brother

I had a word with him and her about drinking at our wedding. We are worried she will get drunk and embarrass herself even more than usual. I gave a speech about I didn't think for a minute anyone would get drunk at our wedding as everyone going had too much class and too much respect for us.

I think it worked.

You're right about jealousy, but she had exactly what she wanted at HER wedding (note her, not theirs) so I just don't get it.

You know, we say that all the time "Poor Brother!"

oh boo hoo what a freaking little jealous brat.....I dealt with a jealous bratty SIL who was miserable at my shower and wedding and made herself look like a jealous brat by the way she acted.

Don't let her get to you,just ignore her like I ignored mine.

Hopefully she won't wear white socks to your wedding without shoes like mine did. ugh that still irks me lol.

You are joking?! White socks and no shoes?!

What is even worse is that she is 51...!