NEED TEACHER ADVICE- 2nd grade excellerated

[teacups]

Kinda long, sorry.
My child is in 2nd grade. She has been advanced/excellerated since pre-school. Reading 5th grade level. Now, 2nd grade teacher has an excellerated math group, which my child is in, along with 4 other kids in class and my child now HATES MATH. This math is pretty advanced and it is being taught by different people each day. Two parent volunteers take turns as well as the classroom teacher once a week. They do not focus on anything for longer than one day. It's like learn this, then learn this, then learn this.... PLUS she is still expected to do the regular 2nd grade math homework (which she isnt even in class for) everyday, and the EXC Math homework everyday. She is floundering now, and blames it on school, math etc. This scares us.
The teacher was so sure this was the right place for our child back in September. We hesitated, but went with her professional opinion. NOW... I think this math group is making my daughter change. It's too much. My goodness she is advanced at 2nd grade math but that doesnt mean she can skip to 4th grade math! BUT if we pull her out now, she gets all of that peer crap (You were too stupid to stay in the math group!) and if she stays she hates math and maybe even school. TEACHERS HELP ME! I want this teacher to help fix this mess but she seems to be backing out on us! Do you think she shoulod be doing something serious to help with this, before this great student becomes a school hater? Call it a Mom's gut... but I know its trouble. (Besides, Im starting to think she is just teaching to test! Why else would they be jumping around like that?)
NOTE: Teacher says the other kids are doing fine in this math group.

 

[teacups]

Another note, sorry: She wasnt "born brillaint" or anything like that. She's a very normal kid. I have just taught her at home. Always have... until now. Had to back way off.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Not a teacher but I would pull her out. Yes, she may endure "ribbing" however that will be small potatoes to enduring this Math class.
If it is not a fit, you can't force it.

 

[freckles and boo]

Hi. I am a former "gifted kid", not a teacher. If she is in over her head please give her the opportunity to feel good about her skills again by taking her out of this program. If you must, phrase it so that she feels she is being allowed to concentrate on her strenghts. Being pushed too hard in math was very demoralizing to me as well as a kid as my strengths were in language and social sciences. Nip these bad feelings in the bud because they will not go away on their own. Good luck.

 

[mickeyboat]

Have you talked seriously to the teacher about taking your DD out of the math group? I can't imagine a teacher ever would force a child against her will to participate in any accelerated coursework. If you talk to the teacher, and the teacher talks to your daughter, she may agree that the math group is not a good fit for your daughter.

As far as the peer pressure goes, ask the teacher about this as well. My DD's are in first grade, and I don't hear them talk AT ALL about who is in what reading group, who goes for speech therapy, etc. They do talk about children who behave badly, but are pretty oblivious to how other children are performing in the classroom.

Good luck to you.

Denae

 

[teacups]

Hi. I am a former "gifted kid", not a teacher. If she is in over her head please give her the opportunity to feel good about her skills again by taking her out of this program. If you must, phrase it so that she feels she is being allowed to concentrate on her strenghts. Being pushed too hard in math was very demoralizing to me as well as a kid as my strengths were in language and social sciences. Nip these bad feelings in the bud because they will not go away on their own. Good luck.

How did you handle the other kids knowing you left? Did they try to tease you and such? I know these kids... that's what is going to happen, and my daughter does not have a thick hide.
Thanks for stepping in here! Thats what I needed!

 

[teacups]

Have you talked seriously to the teacher about taking your DD out of the math group? I can't imagine a teacher ever would force a child against her will to participate in any accelerated coursework. If you talk to the teacher, and the teacher talks to your daughter, she may agree that the math group is not a good fit for your daughter.

As far as the peer pressure goes, ask the teacher about this as well. My DD's are in first grade, and I don't hear them talk AT ALL about who is in what reading group, who goes for speech therapy, etc. They do talk about children who behave badly, but are pretty oblivious to how other children are performing in the classroom.

Good luck to you.

Denae

Here's the thing: We have talked to the teacher a LOT! She tells us how daughter will be bored in reg class... which may be true. BUT bored is one thing, hating school is another. Teacher acts very "oh well, sorry." now that its gotten this bad. If they'd skip to 3rd grade math that would be fine, but they are doing 4-5th. GADS!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

How did you handle the other kids knowing you left? Did they try to tease you and such? I know these kids... that's what is going to happen, and my daughter does not have a thick hide.
Thanks for stepping in here! Thats what I needed!

As a mom of 10 & 15yo dd's....this is an important skill to learn. I know you want to protect her from the other kid's...
Learning how to rectify a school issue is an important part of learning how to navigate school.
Approach it from that angle...Have her be proud that she knows she is in over her head and is brave enough to fix it.
Good Luck mom!

 

[CEDmom]

I'd talk to the teacher about this. My DD is in 2nd grade and her teacher moves groups around quite a bit as students are always learning at different levels. I can't imagine anyone in her class giving a student a hard time about moving to a different group. Honestly, my DD doesn't even know she's in the higher math and reading groups. It's not something we discuss at home. We just tell her she's where her teacher feels she'll learn the most just like everyone else in the class.

 

[PlutoPony]

I would also take her out and make sure she has a solid grasp of math skills for her grade level - as you know these skills really build year to year. At home you can supplement with math concepts and worksheets that are a little ahead of what she gets in the class, essentially accelerating her at a different pace that is more appropriate for her. I know you don't want her turned off on math at a young age but not sure I'd be terribly concerned about that yet as long as she has a solid grasp of things. DS was in accelerated math and loved it until 5th grade when for some reason he did a 180 and absolutely hated it! Looking back we've concluded he just didn't like the concepts that were emphasized that year and this intense dislike continued this year into 6th grade. He understood what was going on, just was completely turned off doing the work . We were starting to get a bit concerned but now that he's doing algebra he's back to LOVING math again. Keep moving forward, work with her at home on more fun and advanced things and hopefully things will turn around in time.
Good luck!

 

[simpilotswife]

JMO but in the 2nd grade kids really aren't into that whole "You're stupid" thing. I don't think that she'll get as much flak as you think. And if anyone asks her she can just tell them that she missed having math class with her friends.

 

[pennyfan01]

You are the parent, do what you think is best for your daughter. 2nd grade peer pressure about stopping the program will last about as long as... hey look a Blue Jay is outside the classroom window!

Like everything else, accelerated 2nd graders, the gifted and talented program is a decent idea gone bad, now it has become a parental challenge that if your neighbor's kid is in G&T and your's isn't.... its the parents who are usually more concerned about the peer response, their peers.

Kids need to be kids especially at that young an age. Of course there should be an advanced level for reading and math for the kids that can be challenged a little more but not to the point it changes their attitude on school. I have a 7th grader in Algebra, a high school level class in 7th grade and high school credit riding on it..The kid is in 7th grade, he wants to get outside after school and play football, soccer, capture the flag and watch a little tv with his friends.. he has no thought that this class affects his High School transcript...and he shouldn't..... but he can handle the work and hasn't complained too much about it, and the school is probably more concerned with their "numbers" in these type of classes, me I'm a great parent he's missing the next week of school because we'll be at WDW in 24 hours!!

 

[rie'smom]

Not all kids do well in accelerated classes. Follow your instincts.

 

[powellrj]

JMO but in the 2nd grade kids really aren't into that whole "You're stupid" thing. I don't think that she'll get as much flak as you think. And if anyone asks her she can just tell them that she missed having math class with her friends.

I agree. I don't think at this age the kids will say much about it. If they do, there is always the phrase I told my kids to use..... "My mom made me."

I always told them they could make me the bad guy and say that I made them do it and most kids that age won't argue with that. Once they hit middle school its a different story.

 

[freckles and boo]

How did you handle the other kids knowing you left? Did they try to tease you and such? I know these kids... that's what is going to happen, and my daughter does not have a thick hide.
Thanks for stepping in here! Thats what I needed!

To be honest, I don't remember if there was any cruel behavior. I am forty and it was a while ago. I do, however, clearly remember the sinking feeling when I just couldn't seem to grasp the concepts. The consequences were long-term. I dreaded and hated math until I found a practical use for it in my career. Please talk to the teacher as forcefully as is necessary so that she clearly understands your child's feelings and your concerns. In my opinion it is important that the teacher explains to the other children that they are not "better" because they are doing higher math (or any advanced work) at such a young age. That kind of snobby, elitist behavior should not be tolerated. Likewise, please remind your daughter of all the things she is very good at and that noboby excels at everything!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Just had another thought for you....If your dd is already struggling they know it. So she may already be feeling the "pain of shame" which could account for the "HATE"....ahaaa..

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

I was in a similar situation when I was in 7th grade, I was in all accelerated classes except for math, where I was on the college track class.

The teacher saw my math test scores for some acheivement test I had taken about halfway through the semester and was like, oh, you need to be in the accelerated math class, so off they sent me. I HATED it; they were way ahead of where I was and the load was enormous.

So after about three weeks I asked my parents to put me back. The kids in the class were like, why did you come back? And I said, it sucked! This class is better!

And they were fine with that and that was the end of it.

Oh, I have to add, at some point your child WILL be bored in school. It's inevitable. Just like at some point they WILL be bored at their job. Learning to deal effectively with boredom, in my opinion, is as important as learning your ABC's....


As far as the other kids, it's all how your daughter spins it to them.

Just have her tell them "your class is WAY better and I wanted to be here instead."

Who'd pick on her for that?!

 

[anewvance]

Sounds kinda like my daughter who is also in 2nd grade. She is advanced in all subjects EXCEPT math, she just doesn't like it. She does an extra excelled group for reading and does extra reports and all which she loves. But they tried to put her in an excelled math group and she really hated it. I'll be the first to admit that the stuff they were teaching them was really advanced and some stuff even had me going huh? We had a talk and talked with the teacher and I did finally let her quit and go back to regular math and she's so much happier. So I guess my advice is to talk to her and talk with the teacher, it should be her choice.

 

[teacups]

Thank you all for such great opinions. I am a talker. I like to talk things out, and this helps.

 

[daisyduck123]

Hi!

I'm a 1st grade teacher. I haven't read any of the replies in case you have posted again, but I'll go back & look when I have more time.

This accelerated math group sounds like a joke to me.
Parents should not be teaching it. It sounds like it was put together for the sake of being able to say "We have an accelerated group" & was done just to satisfy parents too.

No way should parents be teaching it. That's one reason why your daughter is having trouble. Another reason she is having trouble is because different people are teaching it each time....ridiculous!!

I'd pull her out of it...she doesn't need enrichment from unqualified parents.