Need support... small update page 3

[saratogagirl]

I am so sorry Jen, I don't have any advice to you but would echo what others have already said to you, and 30 is still young, keep your chin up honey xx

 

[CHEK]

Oh I feel for you, sending you lot's of Hugs , look after yourself and take care

 

[KayleeUK]

for you.....................

 

[Ware Bears]

Jen, sending you

 

[wilma-bride]

Jen, so sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. I know what it is like as I've been there (with my first husband). You have to think about number 1, at times like this, and do what will make YOU happy. I am sure you will be just fine and, as others have said, you have plenty of time to get your life back on track. All I would say is don't feel like you have to stay in a loveless marriage for the sake of having children but, at the same time, think long and hard before making any final decisions. I am sure you will be just fine. Sending you lots of hugs

 

[Strommie]

Sending you lots and lots of Jen. 30 is no age at all sweetie so don't worry about that.

 

[fizz13]

Jen, firstly very sorry that this has happened but heres the good bit: to admit that things aren't right, to admit that you aren't happy and to take control of your life is a very brave commendable thing, you get one shot at your life and it should be the best it can be.
I am 29, going to be 30 in the summer and I made the decision to go it alone, with my 3 kids of course, and I have never been happier in myself. My confidence has returned, i feel in control and calm, I don't tread on eggshells around my house waiting for another row, and the fears I had about coping on my own or never having a life again were totally unfounded, and yes there have been dates and yes I could have a new man if I wanted. But all of this has made me realise I am definately not the only one of my age who is single and many of my friends dont have kids either. In fact I have realised how young I really am and that I have so much time still to have another baby if I chose, to find someone again etc.
So whenever you are ready to move on don't worry about being left on the shelf because nothing could be further from the truth, there is so much fun to still be had. And no kids yet? Even better cos you can go and do everything you ever wanted to with no restraints.

Now I've said all that, I'm actually hoping that with a little bit of time apart and maybe trying to start from scratch together, build that relationship again, it could work and you could remember what you each fell in love with about each other.
You have my support either way and I wish you happiness wahatever you decide. Sending big squishy

 

[angel659]

Oh Jen, I am really sorry to hear about this. I cant really offer any more advice. I agree with what everyone has said. Your still young and go enjoy your life if it is with or without your husband. Perhaps a seperation may help matters or not. Either way good luck and big hugs to you.

 

[tennisfan]

Sorry to hear what you are going through Jen, time apart might help the relationship. 30 is not old, good luck with whatever you decide

 

[Graeme]

 

[Booknut]

Please don't worry about the age thing, you're young and deserve to be happy and have a family with someone you really love and who loves you back. You'll know in your heart what's right for you.

 

[jen_uk]

Well the last couple of days he has been creeping round me but Ive told him that making me a cup of tea is not going to sort our marital problems out! He does this every time we have a problem, he thinks that after a couple of weeks things will just go back to normal which I suppose is also my fault as I let them. I have said that I am looking for somewhere else to live and that it will take a big change for me to consider staying. On a positive note he has suggested we go to marriage guidance, I have been asking him to do this for 3 years but he has always refused so I suppose its a step forward that he is willing to do this now. I'm just not sure if there is anything left to save anymore.

Thankyou everyone for all your messages, it has really helped

 

[angel659]

Well the last couple of days he has been creeping round me but Ive told him that making me a cup of tea is not going to sort our marital problems out! He does this every time we have a problem, he thinks that after a couple of weeks things will just go back to normal which I suppose is also my fault as I let them. I have said that I am looking for somewhere else to live and that it will take a big change for me to consider staying. On a positive note he has suggested we go to marriage guidance, I have been asking him to do this for 3 years but he has always refused so I suppose its a step forward that he is willing to do this now. I'm just not sure if there is anything left to save anymore.

Thankyou everyone for all your messages, it has really helped

You husband noticing there is a problem and mentioning marriage guidance is a good step in the right direction. Its whether you are prepared to give a go or whether you want to take time away and think. Its a hard decision hun and only you can make the decision. How about trying the counselling this would mean you both can vent. Perhaps things may come out that the other person didnt know. Is there a friend or family you could stay with for a few days to see how you feel while you seek counselling?

Good luck hun.

 

[alisonbestford]

The marriage guidance sounds like a fine idea

Even if things don't work out you'll both know that you gave your marriage your 'best shot'

Not attending counselling, or something similar, with my ex always left me wondering if we could have, somehow, tried harder and worked things out

 

[Mrs Dazzle]

Thankyou so much everyone for the supportive messages , it really helps having somewhere to come and rant about it

You come and rant anytime, darling

Good luck with the marriage guidance. Perhaps going will help, I really do hope it does, especially since your DH realises you need it. If it doesn't, you won't ever wonder whether it could have . . . . .

All the best
Annie x

 

[natalielongstaff]

Sounds positive Jen, good luck x x

 

[tennisfan]

Sounds like things are moving in a positive direction. Good luck.

 

[jockey]

I do hope you get things sorted

 

[wilma-bride]

Jen, I think that the very fact he has acknowledged you have a problem and agreed to marriage guidance is a positive step. It may be that you have gone beyond the point of no return but it is worth a shot if you want to save your marriage. Whatever you do, I hope things work out well for you - feel free to lean on your DIS friends for support whenever you need to

 

[jns]

sending you some