Need support. I'm still in shock. Very unsettling and sad

[Iggipolka]

I'm not sure about posting this because ya all don't know me at all and this is not a fun Disney topic. However, I really could use some support.

I just returned to work yesterday after being gone for 5 months on maternity leave. At my 1st staff meeting, I learned that a beloved co-worker hung herself this past Saturday. She and I were going to get together a couple weeks ago for her to see the baby and that just didn't work out. I'm now wishing that I just had popped the baby in the car and driven out to see her. Maybe she would have said that something was wrong.

I'm a psychologist and I work in group practice with other therapists and yet none of us realized just how desperate our colleague was. How could we have missed this?! We're trained in suicide prevention and yet we failed one of our own. I just keep picturing her in her last moments and cannot get that out of my head.

Please give your loved ones a huge hug today and pay attention to anyone who says that they are depressed or suicidal or you even think that they may be.

This is just so hard. I miss her so much and I just wish that we could have helped her.

 

[kafitty]

please try to not feel responsible, even with your psych background. The people who are "for real" about these things, NOT doing it for the attention, are often very, VERY good at hiding it, especially from people who may have a heightened awareness of something being wrong.

 

[jcb]

I am so sorry.

 

[Disney Khi]

I am so sorry. Be gentle with yourself. My cousin hung himself a few months ago. No one in his large family had any idea he was thinking like that. There is no way you could have known.

 

[safetymom]

I am so sorry.

 

[daneenm]

Oh my, I am so very sorry.

 

[aspen37]

I am so sorry!

 

[michelleiada]

Very sorry for the loss of your friend. Please don't blame yourself for this. You were taking care of your new baby. How could you have known? Hang in there. I am sure that this is part of the normal grieving process for you and time will heal. Peace to you.

 

[klam_chowder]

Peace to you and take care

 

[froggy5657]

Sending Pixie Dust your way, Don't blame yourself.

 

[willis37862]

I don't have any words of wisdom but I can offer some

 

[UrsulasShadow]

No one can know the pain we all live with unless we choose to let others know. You are not to blame. No one is.

I am so sorry that this happened. I am especially sorry for all those left behind. My thoughts are with you.

 

[AnneR]

Iggi

I am so sorry about your loss. It is hard when anyone we care about dies and suicide is particularly hard to process.

Being in the mental health field as well, while we are trained, we also know that is hard to know when that "switch" will happen. Given the additional stressers we are all facing these days it is even harder.

You know the importance of seeking support. And you know that your DIS friends are here for you.

Hugs.

 

[katscradle]

I am so sorry!

 

[Stitchmistress]

Sorry to hear of your loss.

 

[calypso*a*go-go]

What awful news to return to. I'm so sorry for your loss, and as others have already stated, try not to beat yourself up about this.

 

[scminnie]

Sorry for your loss of a friend.

 

[fakereadhed]

So sorry to hear this.

 

[wdwscout]

I completely agree with a previous poster- anyone who is convinced this is the right solution for them will be very skillful at hiding it from anyone.

Here's a hug for you.
And I will go and hug everyone here at home and pay closer attention to my friends and coworkers- who are all feeling so much more stress these days.

 

[LMO429]

im so sorry to hear about your loss