Need some motherly advice please

[krissynkayla]

Thanks for everyones advice!! I have kinda just acted like shes not doing it and I have her wash her hands alot now and at night she puts on neosporin and bandaids about every night, I can't stand the thoughts of her getting some kind of a disease over this. Maybe she wont but shes already been sick this week, 5th disease and a major cold.
I think I will talk to her teacher about this and she what he says too.
Keep the advice coming!!!Thanks

 

[Lorix2]

please remember that the bandaids will keep the skin moist with or without neosporin and it will make it worse. Her skin will get soft and painful in the spots that she bites. I know you are trying to help her, but this won't, trust me, I've done it to myself.

 

[battricia]

No offense, but the punishment is probably just adding to the problem. She's probably so upset and nervous about you finding her doing it that she does it more, because it's more likely a nervous condition. I have one too, pulling my hair out, and most of the time I don't even KNOW I'm doing it. My boyfriend and mother are aware of it so when they see me doing it they tell me to stop. I'm 25 and have been doing this since I was about 12. I can remember the first time my mother found out she was furious with me, I had pulled out all of my eye lashes and she didn't realize that it was a problem, she thought I did it because it looked cool or something! I was SO upset and nervous about her being upset about it, that's when I started pulling from my head instead of my eyes. You can't tell nearly as easily on my head. Anyway my point is your punishing her is probably just making her feel worse. She probably doesn't want to do it any more than I don't want to pull out my hair. No I don't like having a big bald spot in the back of my head, and I don't like people asking what's wrong with my head. I'm sure she doesn't like it either (people constantly commenting on her fingers). And she may just learn to take her nervous habit out somewhere other than her fingers so you leave her alone about it.

tricia.

 

[krissynkayla]

Thanks everyone but as i had stated before I am not punishing her!!!!!!!!! Trying not to be ugly but I am tired of people telling me don't punish her. but everyone else thanks again you gave me great insight on how to deal with her.

 

[andromedaslove]

The last thing I want to do is come across hateful, but I think the reason people are saying "Don't punish her!!" is because in your first post you stated that you have taken or threatened to take things away if she keeps peeling the skin off of her fingers. In my home that is considered punishment. I don't think that anyone thinks that you are physically punishing her in any way shape or form. I can't remember how old you said that your daughter is, but if she is old enough I would definately sugest fake nails wether they are press on's or whatever. That will keep her from chewing or peeling at the skin, and will give her real nails a chance to grow out. Then all you have to worry about are keeping them filed regularly because if there are any chips or cracks or uneven areas it can lead back to the chewing and peeling. I used to do the same thing, and until I got fake nails I couldn't stop myself. Now I only chew in the very stressful times, and can usually stop myself of the habit once things have calmed down.

Take Care,
Dana

 

[iwannbindisnee]

Sorry if this is a repeat --I sort of skimmed over page 2! My son sucked his thumb up to second grade. At this point, he was starting to get teased & other solutions had not worked--it was a totally unconscious thing he did when he was tired or bored, or llstening to someone. I spoke to this teacher & she was wonderful & came up with a "secret sign" that she would do when she saw him sucking his thumb. This way he would be aware of the action & stop, even if it was just for a few minutes. She repeated this many times during the day, until the times between events was less & less. We did the same sign at home if other people were around or we didn't want to say something out loud. It worked great for us. It may work for you. Good Luck!! Deb