Need some advice?

[DISNEYMAGIC2005]

So DF's dad lost his job due to the economy a couple of weeks ago and has been hinting that they won't be able to afford to come down in June. So I don't know if they really don't want to come down (because they had voiced their opinion about that before), or if they really can't afford to do it. So DF is really down because he said that he won't have anyone there on his side. His one brother will still come down and be his best man. But his other brother and parents are saying that it's too much. I was kind of waiting for this but they decide to put this on our plate right AFTER we make the deposits. (Of which some are not refundable )

So now I'm in a dilemna.

I came up with this great idea that we could get married at base (which is basically free) before we come down so that way both sets of family would be able to see us and then still have our wedding at Shades Of Green.

But then my mom (who is a freakin genius... sometimes) says that maybe we could cut into our budget a little and pay for them to fly down and stay for two nights. Now I say coming down for two nights is not a little but I guess that's besides the point.

Now DF hasn't really said much about the situation. I think he feels bad, but this is supposed to be our day and I want him to enjoy it too. He doessn't want to take away the magic from my big day by having something earlier. But I think it is the most economical decision.

Ok so anyways let me know what you think!!

Thanks y'all rock!!

 

[TiggerificSox]

It seems like you're getting mixed messages, but at the same time it is his family! I would say fly them down, put them up some place you can afford, say a value resort?

 

[Skylarr29]

I think if they really wanted to be there they would be there no matter what. When something as important as your child's wedding is taking place you get there. I feel very sorry for your df but it seems as though they were never planning to go. I would have the wedding that you truly want because what matters most about the day is becoming husband and wife, not too much else. As brides we stress about every little detail and all of our guests but when the day is over, you are just happy to be married and starting your life with your husband. My mother was going through bankruptcy at the time of our wedding and felt awful that she couldn't help with wedding costs like parents do. We paid for her room but she got there, bought a dress, and paid for gas, food, tickets, etc. She made it work. You are still a ways out, they just might surprise you. Keep your chin up and try to enjoy planning your special day.

 

[polynesianbride]

This is a tough one! I think it's awesome that your mom offered to help them get there... awesome mom I think Skylarr has some good points as well... In the end trust your gut... do you think they never planned to go and are just using this as an excuse but could really swing it if they made some minor lifestyle changes that would save some money? If that's the case I wouldn't offer to pay. If you honestly believe they really can't afford to go and you can swing it in your budget I think it is extremely generous to pay for their plane tickets (would it be a far drive? maybe just get them a gas card) and 2 nights at a value resort. I wouldn't pay for their park tickets or meals though... you don't need to give them a free vacation...just a way to see their son get married- and really it's more of a gift for your DF than them. I would not go changing wedding plans and get married on the base unless this is what you really want... it is YOUR DAY... you have planned for this and dreamed of this- you deserve to have your dreams come true!

 

[B2B-2008]

My DH didn't have his dad there I didn't want my dad there. But our mums wanted to be there but couldn't afford it so we paid for them to go to Florida. We didn't offer to pay for my DH's dad because he was quite rude about our original wedding plans and we fell out over it.

 

[DISNEYMAGIC2005]

Thanks a bunch for your advice! Me and DF talked to his parents and he told them how he felt.(I'm very proud of him!) Sometimes it is really hard to stand up to the people you love most. Suprisingly they were very understanding. We told them both options and they realized how much trouble having a second wedding would be and how much DF really wanted them @ Disney. They may need a little help but they wanted us to focus on paying for our wedding! I feel like I really had some pixie dust come my way! Thanks again I have lots to do! I got 5 months!!!

 

[Tink901]

That's great that it is working out - sometimes it does help if everything is explained then everyone can see the whole picture.

Have a great wedding!!