Need some advice

[rileysdad]

Hi Everyone, This board it great. Been reading and learning allot.. I do have a problem and need some advice. Before I booked our vacation next september to disney world my DW asked her parents if they wanted to go also. They said that they didn't want to go. When DW told me that they were not going to go I made reservations for POFQ as a surprise aniversary present for my DW since she thought we were going to stay at a value resort. Well the other day DW told me that her parents decided they now want to go and stay where we are staying. I had to break the surpise to DW and tell her about POFQ which she was excited about. She called her parents to tell them where we were staying and that it wasn't a value resort like she thought and now they may not go because they don't want to pay the extra for a moderate. I suggested that we could meet at specific times and locations when we are at the resort and we didn't have to stay at the same hotel, but that was shot down and that they want to stay at the same hotel we do. Its either we step down to a value or they don't go. My main concern is DW and DD who will be a month away from turning 4 when we are there next year. But if I don't drop down to a value I look bad but I wanted to do something nice for my wife as a aniversary present and surprise which is now not a surprise. Sorry to write a book, I would like DW's parents to come too, but I really don't want to drop down to a value. Any advice that anyone can offer would be appreciated. Thank you....

 

[pepe of ohio]

Well for starters, right off the top of my head, you could pay the difference for them to up grade to the moderate. Personally I would not down grade my resort. We have gone a long time ago when my parents were living and gone to WDW with us, stayed at a deluxe and split the room cost, all 5 of us one room, monorail resort. Contemporary resort and Polynesian have huge rooms, 4 adults, one child fit just fine either using a crib or day bed and the savings of splitting the deluxe costs and having a monorail at your door is priceless. Others frown on this but, hey, its for a short time frame, parents aren't around forever and lend a hand in sitting services. We had no problems in sleeping or bathroom schedules and besides, mosat of the time in the room are spent sleeping, staying at the same resort, moderate or value with connecting rooms, is just a wall between, double the cost. We have had many a wonderful vacations this way until they weren't capable of going anymore. Still we travel to WDW with our grown children and stay deluxe and split the room cost. We, my wife and I, our daughter and SIL, have no problems and nothing to hide, no bathroom issues, nothing and the trips help them to still go to Disney and stay deluxe money wise. We spend all our time together touring anyway.

 

[Jill in Chicago]

My first thought after reading this was that her parents sound very inflexible. You brought up Disney. You invited them to come along. They declined. Now they want to come along, but on their terms. If they did come along would they continue to want things "their" way? My guess is they would.

I suggest you make this trip just your immediate family, and then go ahead and book a second trip with your in-laws. Get them in on the planning, date choice... from the beginning. You could even rent a home off property, for less, and you could all stay together, but have your own bedrooms.

You may be thinking this will be your last Disney trip, but with your daughter so young I am absolutely positive you will want to go back!

 

[MomPOM]

I agree with Jill. You've gone to try and make this something special for your wife. They declined initially and it's kind of unfair for them to expect you to change everything at the last minute to appease them. I would just explain that you upgraded it as an anniversary and you understand if they don't want to upgrade. Offer to do a separate trip with them at a later date (if you can swing that) and just leave it at that.

 

[spicemom]

I wouldn't downgrade. Stay where you are (I would love to stay at POFQ), if your wife's parents won't budge then tell them sorry, maybe they will come next time you go to WDW.

 

[Doc CW]

I would go without the grandparents b/c you offered to meet them in certain places and they shot it down so I would say you tried and they still said no so go wihtout them. Thats just what I would do.

 

[NewRocDad]

Wow-this is a sticky situation. No matter how logical all this advice seems, all bets are off when it comes to doing the right thing with the in-laws. The "good news" is that if I read you correctly, this is a trip booked for September 2008? That means you have a whole year to resolve it.

IMHO, this decision has to start with talking with your DW. Let her know that this is important to you, and that you're not just looking to blow off her folks. (you're not, right? )
Explain just what you told us here:
1-that your first priority is making her and DD happy.
2-you would prefer not to drop down to a value resort.
3-you would like for her folks to join you, but not if you have to change to a value resort.

Listen to what she says. Maybe she'll come up with something you hadn't considered. Perhaps she'll talk it over with her folks--if they save for the year, maybe they could swing the cost of POFQ. Or as Pepe recommended, you could pay for, or perhaps split with them the $ cost of the "upgrade" to POFQ.

Either way, my heart goes out to you because this is not easy. You know what they say: you don't just marry a person, you marry a whole family.

Good luck.

 

[NewRocDad]

DW was reading over my shoulder and she'd like to chime in: she recommends that you DO drop down to the value resort, but use her folks as a baby sitter at least one night while you're there. That way, you look like a hero to your DW for doing what it takes to allow her folks to join you, but you and she can have at least one romantic night on your own for your anniversary.

I'll sign this one NewRocMom.

 

[rileysdad]

Thanks everyone who responded. Your right I am in between a rock and a hard place. I talked to DW again about it and she really wants to stay at POFQ, we have nothing against the value resorts, we stayed at the All Star Movie resort a few years back, and DW said it would be nice to stay somewhere different and she really liked POFQ when we were looking at resorts and thats why I wanted to surprise her. I actually get along pretty well with DW's parents and we have gone on vacation before with them. But I do agree with MomPOM and think I need to make this special for DW and DD. I honestly don't understand why they wouldn't just meet us at the parks or wherever we decide to meet. Hopefully we can get this all straightened out here in the next few weeks... Wonder if they could just drive to our resort and leave the car and then we could all go everyplace together ?? Thanks all again for all the good advice.. )

 

[abirdd]

rileysdad -
You might want to point out to the in-laws that Disney does put out package discounts, and September is generally a discount timeframe. No guarantees, but perhaps when codes are released for next September, they might be able to swing the POFQ for almost the same as a value. Just something they can think about in the back of their minds...

 

[Mickiethepooh]

I agree the parents are completely unreasonable here. I would NOT downgrade, they can stay where they like or not go. The only other option I see for you is to pay the difference in what THEY have to pay and that would really stick in my craw if it were me but it IS an option.

 

[NYDisneyKid]

Are your in-laws THAT frugal? ºOº

 

[rileysdad]

LOL.. actually they are... I could tell you lots of stories but would probably get myself in trouble with DW...

 

[Mischa]

Here's my 2cents...

Go without your in-laws! You will most likely have a much better time without them. I say this because even if you back down (and out of POFQ) and stay at the moderate just so they can come along, they sound like they will be "trouble (for a lack of a better word) while you all are trying to enjoy yourselves at the parks.

so do something nice for your anniversary - stay at POFQ with your wife & daughter and have fun.

Go another time with the in-laws and stay at the moderate if that is what they want!