Need prayers,PD and thoughts

[disneymom3]

My mom is not doing well at all. For the last several years she has been just overall going downhill. Long long story so I will shorten it up a lot. She was admitted to the hospital last week mainly because her doc decided she had a series of tests she wanted to do and Mom was too weak to have to go to a bunch of appts. She had a UTI at the time, but that was all that was wrong beyond the weakness and the fact that her blood sugar has been steadily rising over the last couple of months. (She is a diabetic.) She had low hemoglobin and sodium on Friday so they gave her a blood transfusion and yesterday she seemed to be doing better.

Now, today, I got a call a couple of hours ago from my sis. Mom is not doing well. She is very tired, they have her on oxygen and she has just basically given up. She has told my sisters she is done now and just wants to go be with Dad. She has asked to have a priest come and do whatever they call Last Rights now. (I can't remember, but at the same time, she is old school Catholic and i know she thinks of it as Last Rights.) The priest is coming at 3:00 CA time. I have called my mom and told her I love her and that whatever she wants is what I want.

She has repeatedly been hospitalized over the last few years and she hates all this medical stuff. I am totally open to the idea that she is ready to die and while of course it makes me sad, I would be relieved for her.

The thing I am stuck on and cannot figure out is what to do. We are scheduled to leave for our trip on Thursday. Right now the Dr says it could be after the priest is done, or it could be 6 or 8 months from now. If it is beyond the next couple of days, mom would go live with one of my sisters and have hospice care. So, right now, I guess I go and fly to CA from FL if she passes away while I am there. What if she dies in the next two days?

My kids are 4, 5 and 9. The oldest had a really strong relationship with her until the last couple of years when her health started failing and she really couldn't write back. The middle one def remembers her and the youngest does not. (Note we live in MN, she does not.) Do I take them to the funeral? Do I just take the oldest, but then the middle will be very upset?

Please share your thoughts and send up some prayers that she be at peace and not struggling or in pain.

 

[wickey's friend]

I don't really have any advice -- that is a hard decision to make. I just wanted to send p and pd your way and to your mom.

 

[chell]

Sending you tons of PD and prayers.

 

[Pooh67_68]

 

[Dan Murphy]

Good wishes and prayers are with you, Julie. My best for your mom. And you guys too. As for your last question, personally, I would take all the kids to a funeral, sad as it may be, it is a life learning opportunity also. My best.

 

[disneymom3]

We talked to the kids tonight at dinner and we will be taking them to the funeral when it happens. Financially I don't know how we would do it, but somehow we will manage. Our emergency fund is not going to stretch to 5 tickets to CA but somehow it will work out.

Thank you for the hugs and prayers and wishes.

 

[kejoda]

JUlie I'm so sorry that this is happening. Its such a rough time.

My father passed away last month. One thing my sister did was ask a nurse what the signs they look for if someone is going to die soon. Is it possible that your sister can talk to a nurse. Or even if you could call one of the nurses and talk to them yourself. Explain to them about your trip. Nurses are wonderful they tell you so much more than a Doc. does.

As for the flights I would call each airline directly. Tell them why you need flights and what the cheapest you can get them. Also try Hobbit travel they sometimes have last minute cheap flights.

I would take the kids to the funeral. I've lost both my parents now and my dh Tim lost his Mother. But whatever you do don't let some idiot tell any of the kids that Grandma is only sleeping. Someone has done that to every Grandparent so far and it ends up one the grandkids freak out cause they don't wake up.

Our prayers and thoughts are with you all. LIfe can be so difficult sometimes.

 

[pixiemomma]