Need opinions on birthday issue, sensitive subject matter...sort of...

[Rora]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Maybe as time goes on, however, you can celebrate "life" on your birthday. Your life, your mil's life, your friends life.

OP- I know you're not ready to do this yet, but it is a really nice idea. Something to consider for the future, perhaps?

My heart goes out to you. Like the others have said, just be honest with your mom and she will understand.

 

[agnes!]

pat fan -

Maybe you could get a simple 'thank you' card and send it to your mom on your birthday, kind of a 'thanks for giving me life".

agnes!

 

[pat fan]

Good suggestions for future times. Thanks all.

 

[Mermaid02]

Awww - you are really lucky that you have a mom that still wants to make a big deal out of your birthday. I was my mom's youngest child of 6 and by the time I hit about 12years old, she was pretty much like "do we really need to do anything more than a cake this year?"

I think you mom deserves to celebrate a little on the day she gave birth to her daughter. Obviously it is a joyous occasion for her and she must have so many memories of all your birthdays past. I would at least let her do something small and with just you and your DH. Make you a cake and dinner. You don't have to be in a partying mood to spend time with your mom marking the day she met you.

I agree with this. Let her do something on the smaller side for you.

 

[Darsa]

pat fan, I can totally understand how you feel. My mom passed away on my 40th birthday, this past March. I have NO idea how my birthday is going to be handled next year; I've never really been one for big "things" on my birthday, but mom's always made us our favorite dinner, and we all gathered at mom & dad's for that and cake. Next year... who knows. I may hide that day

 

[pat fan]

who knows. I may hide that day

I think that sounds like a GREAT plan!