Need Opinion - Do you think this is cheating

[binny]

If I found out that my boyfriend were "sexting" with someone, he'd be single in a hurry!

Yes, this is cheating in my book.

Cheating, if one is in a committed relationship, calling someone "girlfriend" is considered serious enough in my book, he has no business sexting with someone else.

 

[MushyMushy]

Yes, I consider it cheating and break-up worthy, but don't see it on the same level as cheating in a marriage or other very serious relationship like an engagement.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Cheating.

Sounds like he's compartmentalized a lot to make it sound like he isn't. If he doesn't think it's cheating, tell him to talk to his girlfriend about it and see what she says. Watch him squirm at the thought. Now that would be fun.

 

[mtemm]

if all parties are fine with it, not cheating. if stuff is hidden and one party is unaware, then yep, cheating.

 

[kwelch10377]

I have no idea if this guys girlfriend has any clue. My guess is no.

I think the thing that bothers me the most is that my male friend (not the cheater) who doesn't think this is cheating is my best friends husband. I haven't gotten a chance to talk to her about it and see what her point of view of the situation is and if she knows her husband thinks stuff like this is ok, but I'm pretty sure if he was doing something like this she would kick his butt to the curb and then he would have to deal with me.

 

[denisem]

So I was having a conversation with one of my male friends and told him about a situation and I was very surprised that he did not think it was cheating.

So there is a girl and a guy who have know each other for 10 years, never romantically involved, however over the course of their friendship both have admitted that they had feelings for the other person, for one reason or another they haven't been able to get their act together see what would happen if they got together. One thing that puts a glitch in things is that they live 300 miles about (but it wasn't always the case)

So since last summer they have been talking through facebook and texting. She found out in Oct that he was seeing someone and that brought her to confess her feelings about him (for the second time, the first was many years ago). He is still seeing this girl (I don't see him and his girlfriend getting to the marriage point or anything bc she is 21 and is in college and he is 30 and has made mention more than once to the friend that marriage and kids aren't even on the radar)

So anyway the girl and the guy still talk all the time, mostly through texting. Their conversation are typically of the sexual nature and would consider it "sexting" and there is frequent picture exchange to go along with the texting covnersations. There is also talk of "when we get together" and he frequently says "when I am single again". The whole situation is a whole different story.......

Now my male friend does not think this is cheating. He says since there are no emotions involved (he example was saying things like I miss you or I love you) that they are just having some fun. Now he is married and "claims" that he would be ok with his wife "sexting" someone else because she is just being human and having fun.

What do you guys think?.......I think most woman would think that it is cheating, but I wonder what some guys think.

Huh????? I must be too dense to make sense of this convoluted scenerio, much less form an opinion. Help me out:

Parties #1 (she) & #2 (he) are have known each 10 yrs, never involved beyond vague "feelings" expressed during FB/texting.

Party # 1 finds Party #2 has a 21 y.o. girlfriend. Party # 1 escalates texting into sexting.

Party#1 asks Party #3 (married male friend) for his opinion on whether Party # 2 is cheating. Party # 3 says, "Hey...anything goes."

My million $ question is: Who exactly is Party #2 cheating on?? Party #1 (the vague sexting "GF") -or- his 21 y.o. RL girlfriend? Or either? Or both???

Geesh, I'm glad I'm 56.

 

[Buckalew11]

Cheating.

 

[Buckalew11]

I have no idea if this guys girlfriend has any clue. My guess is no.

I think the thing that bothers me the most is that my male friend (not the cheater) who doesn't think this is cheating is my best friends husband. I haven't gotten a chance to talk to her about it and see what her point of view of the situation is and if she knows her husband thinks stuff like this is ok, but I'm pretty sure if he was doing something like this she would kick his butt to the curb and then he would have to deal with me.

You do realize that 1/2 of the responses on this thread did not comprehend your OP, don't you? Gah, at the answers that don't even have the facts straight!

Anyway, that really bothers me too. Your friend not thinking these 2 people are cheating...and he would be OK with HIS WIFE doing it (sexting)?! Wow, just wow. All in the name of a little fun. *thud smilie here*

You know, the divorce rate is already high but I think it is going to increase quickly with the technology nowadays. I thought kids sexted--not grown ups! Oh brother.

 

[kwelch10377]

Huh????? I must be too dense to make sense of this convoluted scenerio, much less form an opinion. Help me out:

Parties #1 (she) & #2 (he) are have known each 10 yrs, never involved beyond vague "feelings" expressed during FB/texting.

Party # 1 finds Party #2 has a 21 y.o. girlfriend. Party # 1 escalates texting into sexting.

Party#1 asks Party #3 (married male friend) for his opinion on whether Party # 2 is cheating. Party # 3 says, "Hey...anything goes."

My million $ question is: Who exactly is Party #2 cheating on?? Party #1 (the vague sexting "GF") -or- his 21 y.o. RL girlfriend? Or either? Or both???

Geesh, I'm glad I'm 56.

It is a little confusing.


There is a 4th party....me. Me and Party #3 had the conversation about #1 and #2 and what was going on. I asked #3 what he thought and it was that he didn't think it was cheating bc it isn't emotional.

Party #2 is cheating on the 21 year old girlfriend. I also wouldn't call the feelings expressed vague. The sexting also somewhat started way before #1 found out #2 was seeing someone/in a relationship.

There is so much more background info about the entire situation between #1 and #2, but like I said I just don't understand how someone doesn't think that their current sexting isn't cheating.

 

[kwelch10377]

You do realize that 1/2 of the responses on this thread did not comprehend your OP, don't you? Gah, at the answers that don't even have the facts straight!

Anyway, that really bothers me too. Your friend not thinking these 2 people are cheating...and he would be OK with HIS WIFE doing it (sexting)?! Wow, just wow. All in the name of a little fun. *thud smilie here*

You know, the divorce rate is already high but I think it is going to increase quickly with the technology nowadays. I thought kids sexted--not grown ups! Oh brother.

I do and I realize it is confusing that there are four people I am talking about. Me and the person with the "not cheating" opinion who had the and then the 2 people that are cheating by sexting, even a 5th with the girlfriend of the guy that is cheating.

 

[denisem]

I have no idea if this guys girlfriend has any clue. My guess is no.

I think the thing that bothers me the most is that my male friend (not the cheater) who doesn't think this is cheating is my best friends husband. I haven't gotten a chance to talk to her about it and see what her point of view of the situation is and if she knows her husband thinks stuff like this is ok, but I'm pretty sure if he was doing something like this she would kick his butt to the curb and then he would have to deal with me.

Why would you discuss a situation (that doesn't directly involve you) with your BF's husband???

 

[kwelch10377]

Why would you discuss a situation (that doesn't directly involve you) with your BF's husband???

Well I am friends with my BFF husband too and the topic of cheating and sexting came up. He has no idea who these 2 people are and I was using them as an example of how easy it is to cheat and that is when he said he didn't see it as cheating.

 

[denisem]

Well I am friends with my BFF husband too and the topic of cheating and sexting came up. He has no idea who these 2 people are and I was using them as an example of how easy it is to cheat and that is when he said he didn't see it as cheating.

But your original scenerio doesn't involved married, engaged or even seriously committed couples, so I'm still confused as to what constitutes "cheating".

I agree, a married person sexting with another person on a continued basis can be construed as emotionally cheating, even if physical cheating isn't involved. However...just because your BFF's husband states he does NOT consider sexting as cheating is no evidence that he would actually engage in physical or emotional cheating (unless you have definite proof?).

Immature guys sometimes throw comments like that around...makes 'em feel like studs.

(Why do I feel there is more to this story?)

 

[tiggerlover]

Cheating.

 

[disykat]

But your original scenerio doesn't involved married, engaged or even seriously committed couples, so I'm still confused as to what constitutes "cheating".

The person she is talking about who is doing this has a girlfriend. He is cheating on her. The friend she was talking to who said he thinks it is fine and his wife could do this and he wouldn't be bothered is a married man.

Two couples, one in a "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationship, and one married.

 

[dislaney]

Cheating!

 

[PamNC]

and i say this is 100% cheating without a doubt.

 

[kwelch10377]

But your original scenerio doesn't involved married, engaged or even seriously committed couples, so I'm still confused as to what constitutes "cheating".

I agree, a married person sexting with another person on a continued basis can be construed as emotionally cheating, even if physical cheating isn't involved. However...just because your BFF's husband states he does NOT consider sexting as cheating is no evidence that he would actually engage in physical or emotional cheating (unless you have definite proof?).

Immature guys sometimes throw comments like that around...makes 'em feel like studs.

(Why do I feel there is more to this story?)

I am not sure if I would consider the guy a seriously (i.e. on the track to marriage) committed relationship, but from what I understand I would consider it a committed relationship.

And yes there is A LOT more to the story

 

[Explodo]

If either is involved in another relationship, this is cheating.

My definition of cheating is this. If the activity takes away fro mthe intimate activity one does with their signifigant other...it is cheating.

And by intimate, I don;t mean sex. I mean the things couples engage in just between them. Conversations, deep thoughts, private jhokes, funny events.

Those are things that are to be enjoyed with your chosen partner...not someone else.

Cheating IMO, is the denial of intimate behavior with your partner.

So yes...they are cheating.

 

[ChillyWilleys]

My definition of cheating is anything that you wouldn't do in front of your significant other.