Need Kindergarten Advice

[amyhughes]

My eldest son is the youngest child in his Kindergarten. He has been in preschool and pre-K. His teacher last year recommended he go ahead, even though he is still 5, and enroll in Kindergarten. We spoke with the school administrators who also feel that he is well placed for his learning level.

My problem is this. Every time we get his report card there is inevitably something he has shown knowledge in that he refuses to show his teacher he knows. Today, after going over his end of term report, I pulled out a workbook and started to address what I thought were the problem areas. He breezed right on through and looked at me like, "Is that all?"

We (DH & I) spoke with him and he says he doesn't like to tell his teacher everything he knows. No idea why, just plays mute on certain subjects. Has anyone ever had a child do this in school? I am tempted to have him do a few worksheets here and send them in with him when school resumes Tuesday. Just so that his teacher can see he has the ability and knowledge to do the work.

I am at a loss.

 

[ajk912]

Take it from someone who has BTDT- my son made the kindergarten cutoff by 6 days 5 years ago. He still gets A/B honor roll, so the work has never been too hard for him.

It's not all about the grades, there is soooo much more. I wish I would have held my son back, he's in 4th grade now and I know he would have done so much better emotional and maturity wise one grade lower.

I learned..too late for me, obviously..don't place your kid in what they can do NOW, decide for where you want them to be when they are 13. Do you want them in middle school or high school?

 

[DMickey28]

My little brother was held back in Kindergarten because he would refuse to talk for days at a time. Only at school, never at home but sounds a little similar to your DS. He just didn't want to let it all out yet. He did really well at school after that. My parents never felt it was the wrong decision.

 

[amyhughes]

What's weird is that he is terribly social. Has a lot of friends and talks to the other children and seems to like and respect his teacher. I wonder if he is intimidated a bit which is why he keeps things in, y'know scared he is wrong or he won't answer right?

ETA: We are considering holding him back next year already. Mainly due to maturity.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

Im a kindergarten teacher--after i sent out the first report cards, i had a couple of parents come to me that their kids can do the skill that i marked they could not. It seemed as they were afraid to answer wrong in the classroom. We really push the "we try our best in kindergarten" so that no one feels upset if they have the wrong answer. What i do is make sure to acknowledge them each time they have their hand up and i always say great try..or that was close..or lets look at it this way..

They have gotten much more comfortable over the past couple of months

 

[KerriSue]

My little brother was held back in Kindergarten because he would refuse to talk for days at a time. Only at school, never at home but sounds a little similar to your DS. He just didn't want to let it all out yet. He did really well at school after that. My parents never felt it was the wrong decision.

This was similar to my brother. He would not talk at all in class. Period. So they brought my mom in and said that if he doesnt recite his ABC's, Name and address he will be doing it again. You know the kid started talking. He was just super shy (at school).

 

[rt2dz]

My oldest is like that and he was not a young 5 when he started K. It has absolutely, positively nothing to do with age (for him). It's just his personality.

He doesn't like to stand out, so letting a teacher know he knows more than most kids isn't something he wants to do. In addition, I have discovered over the years that his performance in school is linked to how well he likes the teacher AND thinks the teacher likes him. It can be a great teacher, but if he doesn't personally connect with the teacher, his grades are mediocre.

Drives teachers nuts because they know he knows it, but he won't "prove" it. Also, if it doesn't interest him, he won't bother with it. Those boring standardized tests aren't something he does well at. His teacher wrote me a note on the side where it says percentile that she knows that is nowhere near where he is. He just doesn't care. And, really, in the end, those go to the school's ratings--not his grades--so I don't push/bother/worry about it. I keep telling him that keeps him out of GT classes, but if he won't put the effort in now, that might not be a bad thing. I just hope he gets it together in time for the SATs.

 

[amyhughes]

Im a kindergarten teacher--after i sent out the first report cards, i had a couple of parents come to me that their kids can do the skill that i marked they could not. It seemed as they were afraid to answer wrong in the classroom. We really push the "we try our best in kindergarten" so that no one feels upset if they have the wrong answer. What i do is make sure to acknowledge them each time they have their hand up and i always say great try..or that was close..or lets look at it this way..

They have gotten much more comfortable over the past couple of months

That's what I am thinking as well. Though his teacher seems strict, but very caring and kind. She has been teaching this class for some time. He is a "I have to get it right the first time or I get discouraged." kind of kid. So that may play into it, no matter how gently he is told that wasn't quite the answer she was looking for. I have the same issue when I work with him, he gets upset if he doesn't *poof* know the answer.

 

[OceanAnnie]

My eldest son is the youngest child in his Kindergarten. He has been in preschool and pre-K. His teacher last year recommended he go ahead, even though he is still 5, and enroll in Kindergarten. We spoke with the school administrators who also feel that he is well placed for his learning level.

My problem is this. Every time we get his report card there is inevitably something he has shown knowledge in that he refuses to show his teacher he knows. Today, after going over his end of term report, I pulled out a workbook and started to address what I thought were the problem areas. He breezed right on through and looked at me like, "Is that all?"

We (DH & I) spoke with him and he says he doesn't like to tell his teacher everything he knows. No idea why, just plays mute on certain subjects. Has anyone ever had a child do this in school? I am tempted to have him do a few worksheets here and send them in with him when school resumes Tuesday. Just so that his teacher can see he has the ability and knowledge to do the work.

I am at a loss.

I had the exact same problem. I said, "I know you know this, it's not the time to be silly, why won't you tell the teacher what you know?". I got a funny look and an, "I don't know.".

Well, I offered a reward (a candy kiss) at the end of every day if the papers were 100%, for about 2 weeks. Haven't had a problem since. Crazy that it worked, but it did for us.

 

[pumba]

Our son was very intelligent before he started school and then HE WENT.....he knew how to read and how to do his math ......so when the Sister (catholic school) asked him why he didnt want to do his work .....he said because he didnt want the other kids to say he was a know it all......Now this was first grade....maybe your son is doing this at the K level.
Our son was very good at the K level and was able to pass out the other kids papers because he knew how to read their names.

Our son is 39 and has a son that is 4....they say that pay back.....

 

[golfgal]

DD did that in kindergarten. We got a paper back once saying she "couldn't" recite the alphabet, which she knew especially since she could READ chapter books already. The teacher attached a note saying she KNOWS DD could say the alphabet but for whatever reason when they did the testing she just wouldn't. She said that later that day she heard her singing the alphabet song but couldn't change the test. We laughed because this was the kid we had to set a timer at home so she wouldn't talk for 10 minutes just to give our ears a rest . The teacher kept telling us she needed to talk more in class .

She is in 8th grade and is NOT shy about giving speeches or talking in school now.

Now, our oldest was also a young kindergartner and we kept asking his teachers if we should hold him back. Academically he was doing just fine but he seemed immature to us. The teacher kept telling us he was fine. Now he is a junior in high school and I WISH we would have held him back. School would have been a much better experience for him had we done that.

 

[shortbun]

My son had a real trust issue with his K/1 teacher at first. She was nurturing and he wanted to do well for her but he was afraid to talk. He had been in preschool and day care so he wasn't new to an environment with a non related adult. We set some simple goals like raise your hand once before lunch and once after lunch EVEN if you aren't sure of the answer or just to ask a valid question. That worked, it broke the ice and off he went. He had a similar issue in 5th grade with trusting the teacher but that was based on some real distastefull things she did to students when they didn't perform as she wanted. Fear or lack of trust is a common issue in immature boys and a good reason to put them in a preK class instead of K at 5 years old. This year, his 7th grade teacher can't shut him up-lol, so it goes away eventually.