Need help with upsetting news....

[twinmomplus2]

I am unsure how to go ahead with somthing and am getting some mixed feedback. i thought. I may get some impartial opinions... So here goes... My mom is in Disney as I type. She went to get away for a few days alone. the day she left her Aunt died. this she knows about. The funeral and all is over and done with she is upset but ok with it.
This is the bad part 2. my mom's younger sister, who has had Lymphoma for 5 years had some testes done 2 weeks ago, The preliminary tests came back ok. They even told her they were close to not treating her for a year. So when my mom left she left with the impression that it was the best possible news. (She left Thursday) On Friday my Aunt recieved a phone call from the Doctor with very bad news. It seems the 2nd of the two tests was very, very bad, the treatment did not work at all. the lymphoma is all around her heart, and her prognosis at this point is very bad. she has 2 young kids and is in a very bad way. my mom Knows nothing about this new developement. Ok so what would you do? My mom gets into the airport at 9pm. Does not get home till 10-thirty. I am in a terrible position here if I do not tell her she is going to say you knew and did not tell me right away? If I tell her she has to be to work first thing the next am, and has to be there. If I tell her she will have a terrible day. She is already going to be angry she was not told while she was away, I am sure she would have come home asap.....We are a family of 6 kids. All 3 brothers think I should say nothing. and let her find out on her own. The girls are divided but we all think she should be told as soon as she touches down, so she can talk to my Aunt right away. Any advice, I am truly at a loss....

 

[IloveDMB]

First off, prayers for your Aunt. What upsetting news.

I don't have advice, just wanted to offer some prayers.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Well, first, very sorry to hear all the sad, troubling news, twinmomplus2, my prayers and good wishes are with your aunt.

As for your question, I would let your mom know when she returns, she will be here soon. {{Hugs}} for you all.

Dan

 

[Snow White]

Wow, thats tough, I'd probably wait until she got home, there's nothing she can do about it until then, and at least she wouldn't be so upset during her trip home, but I would tell her as soon as she got home so she could contact your aunt, because if I was in her place, I would want to know and have the choice of how to handle it instead of others making that choice for me....but that's just me...good luck!

 

[Disney Doll]

Tell her when she gets home tonight. If she asks why you didn't call her at WDW, tell her it's because you wanted her to have her nice few days to herself, and there wasn't anything she was going to be able to do for her sister over the weekend anyway. She may be mad, but she'll get over it.

 

[KimRaye]

Also, very sorry.

Just a thought, have you asked your Aunt how she wants you to handle it? Maybe she wants to tell your Mom herself or, she wants you to wait, etc.

 

[one_cat]

Firstly - so sorry about the terrible news, we'll keep your aunt in our prayers.

The real question is: would she want to be told tonight rather than tomorrow? If she would want to be told tonight then tell her tonight. You have no right to keep info from her for "her own good" She is an adult and has the right to make those decisions for herself and to deal with the work stuff tomorrow however she wants to. (This sounds harsh - don't take it that way it's just my opinion.)

Good luck to you and again we'll keep her in our prayers.

 

[Dreamer04]

Originally posted by KimRaye
Also, very sorry.

Just a thought, have you asked your Aunt how she wants you to handle it? Maybe she wants to tell your Mom herself or, she wants you to wait, etc.

I think that is the place to start. I am sorry for your trouble. Prayers said, good wishes and pixie dust on the way.

 

[twinmomplus2]

I did speak with my Aunt today. It was a very difficult conversation, she was sobbing most of the time. I asked her specifically what she wanted me to do. At first she said well can you get me a new body? ( Not funny)
She said well what time does she come in? And can she come up there? To complicate matters we live about an hour and 10 minutes from this Aunt. She kind of said she wants to see my mother. But tommorow being MLK day they are home from school and she knows she is going to breakdown and she can not do that in front of the kids. I told her that I would bring my kids up and take hers with me to a movie and lunch to get her some me time. She said that she would enjoy as she did not trust herself to not have a terrible day tommorow.
Then I found out that my mom is not coming in until quite late. So going there from the airport is out... My Aunt called back and left A message that the little one aged 6 has a 4 hour play date. That she will send her to so just send my mother up. So she wants her there and can not deal with telling her herself. She is really in very bad emotional shape.

Thanks for the thoughts. there really is a no win answer to this.

 

[RNMOM]

So sorry for your family's sad news.

If it were my family, I would want to know as soon as I got home. Hope that helps some.

 

[Antonia]

By all means, tell your mother the minute you see her. It's her sister and waiting to tell her until tomorrow is not going to make bad news get any better. Sounds like her sister needs her.

 

[Rajah]

I'd tell her as soon as y'all get in the car at the airport. That makes sure she's sitting down and in privacy when she gets the news, but also makes sure you tell her ASAP. That way, there's a chance that if she wants/needs to take tomorrow off, she can as well.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>I agree to tell your mom tonight. I also agree that there wasn't much she could do, and she probably needed "some" time to herself because of the tough time she just came through, and the tough time ahead of her.

Prayers for you and your family, and blessings to your aunt.

Peace and strength .....

 

[Pin Wizard]

I'm so sorry to hear about your aunt. I would let your mom know as soon as possible. As long as it's what your aunt wants.