Need help out of country docs

[byrdsnest]

We are a big group of mixed up (haha) families. We are cruising in October. One mom has a 10 year old son-never married to the dad and he has little or no contact with either of them. The child's aunt offered to take the doc. to get signed by the father, and he is refusing to sign it. What should her next step be if he continues to refuse to sign??? Thanks to anyone who can offer up suggestions!

 

[Savin4Disney]

If he is not listed on the birth certificate I think it would not matter. I know when we go I will bring my divorce papers that show I have full custody and placement. He has no say in anything!

 

[byrdsnest]

Thanks-I will double check with her...I agree he SHOULD have no say in anything,so we will see. We still have time, but I know she is worried about him screwing up their plans!

 

[Rence]

If the mother alone is on the birth certificate, I believe she will be considered the sole decision maker for the child.

If the father is listed, it would be wise for the mother to get legal documentation that indicates that she has sole custody. She whould talk to a lawyer. This isn't just for the cruise, but it will help her in any number of things the come up in the future. The laws presume two involved parents so there may be other cases where the father has a say.

If he is not involved and not paying child support, it shouldn't be too hard. One approach is if he is not paying child support, to have the lawyer indicate that the mother will go after child support unless he signs an agreement giving your sole custody.

If he is paying support, he is probably very resentful as some men are and figures that not signing the letter is his way of getting 'revenge'. This one will be trickier, but if it can be demonstrated that he has made no effort to involve himself with the child, the court will usually look out for the child and grant all legal rights to the mother.

Issues can come up in the future regardin education, medical issues, etc. If the mother wants to move out of state at some point, she may have issues, unless she has clear legal custody. It would be a good idea to get the matter settled once and for all.

 

[byrdsnest]

I agree...completely! He is on the BC, but hasn't seen or talked to him in the last 5 years! I will share this with her, hopefully he will come around. She wants to give him til Friday to sign. I di think she needs to get a good lawyer and settle this once and for all! Thanks!

 

[justice&jordan'smom]

Back in May of 2003 I took my son and daughter on the Disney cruise. At that time my son's father and I were seperated. He is listed on my son's birth certificate, but I did not obtain any authorization from the father to go nor did Disney request it. I think as long as one parent is there that is all that is necessary. Disney didnt even ask me who had custody.

 

[byrdsnest]

thats great thta you weren't questioned! I just think it would be awful if they couldn't get off the ship all because the dad wants to be a jerk! Hopefully she can get this settled once and for all. She still has a few months to hammer it all out. Thanks for your input!

 

[Squeakcat]

I think as long as one parent is there that is all that is necessary. Disney didnt even ask me who had custody.

I'm glad this worked out for you, but I would not risk it. Think of the disappointment , not to mention the lost money, if this child is not allowed to board the ship.

As I've discussed elsewhere on this board, when we were leaving, not boarding, the Radiance of the Seas in Vancouver in July 2003, I was stopped and had to provide documents proving I had sole custody of my two children, both of whom I adopted from China. The port official took about 10 minutes going over our papers, and called over a Chinese-Canadian officer to review the Chinese documents, even though they were bound in booklets with notarized English translations. I'm single, always have been, and my name is the only one on their Chinese and American adoption papers, and on their American certificates of birth facts. I don't know what would have happened had I not had the papers they were looking for, but I'm very glad I did not have to find out.

There was also a case last May or June, where an adopted Chinese toddler had a temper tantrum on an airplane as it was waiting for departure on a domestic US flight. The entire family (including two parents and a teenaged sister) was pulled off the plane and held for several hours in an unfamilar city until an official from their adoption agency could be contacted to provide enough information to satisfy the local police that the child was with her legal parents.

 

[Squeakcat]

I think as long as one parent is there that is all that is necessary. Disney didnt even ask me who had custody.

I'm glad this worked out for you, but I would not risk it. Think of the disappointment , not to mention the lost money, if this child is not allowed to board the ship.

As I've discussed elsewhere on this board, when we were leaving, not boarding, the Radiance of the Seas in Vancouver in July 2003, I was stopped and had to provide documents proving I had sole custody of my two children, both of whom I adopted from China. The port official took about 10 minutes going over our papers, and called over a Chinese-Canadian officer to review the Chinese documents, even though they were bound in booklets with notarized English translations. I'm single, always have been, and my name is the only one on their Chinese and American adoption papers, and on their American certificates of birth facts. All three of us had US passports. I don't know what would have happened had I not had the papers they were looking for, but I'm very glad I did not have to find out.

There was also a case last May or June, where an adopted Chinese toddler had a temper tantrum on an airplane as it was waiting for departure on a domestic US flight. The entire family (including two parents and a teenaged sister) was pulled off the plane and held for several hours in an unfamiliar city until an official from their adoption agency in another state could be contacted to provide enough information to satisfy the local police that the child was with her legal parents.