Need help - On Christmas, do you go anywhere?

[SnowWhite607]

Update: I told her on Wednesday that I wanted to stay home for Christmas and she gave me all that stuff about going to "J;s" house........she got quiet and said "Oh well I dnt know...we'll see."

She and my dad went out of town Wed nite and I havent heard from her since. Its now Friday. I would not think that stramge except that we talk daily, sometimes 2-3 times daily. And she knew DD had her talented theater screening at school so I know she would want to know how that turned out.

No I dont think anything happened to them. I think she is ignoring me cause she is not getting her way and she is ticked off.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Update: I told her on Wednesday that I wanted to stay home for Christmas and she gave me all that stuff about going to "J;s" house........she got quiet and said "Oh well I dnt know...we'll see."

She and my dad went out of town Wed nite and I havent heard from her since. Its now Friday. I would not think that stramge except that we talk daily, sometimes 2-3 times daily. And she knew DD had her talented theater screening at school so I know she would want to know how that turned out.

No I dont think anything happened to them. I think she is ignoring me cause she is not getting her way and she is ticked off.

If she usually speaks with you when she is out of town (and barring nothing bad has happened), then this is what is called "passive agressive behavior" aka a punishment to try and elicit the desired response from you.

Don't give in, she will call when she is ready. IF it gets to one week, call her to shoot he breeze, but don't change your plans just b/c she is giving you the silent treatment.

 

[C.Ann]

If she usually speaks with you when she is out of town (and barring nothing bad has happened), then this is what is called "passive agressive behavior" aka a punishment to try and elicit the desired response from you.

Don't give in, she will call when she is ready. IF it gets to one week, call her to shoot he breeze, but don't change your plans just b/c she is giving you the silent treatment.

Absolutely! This is why I said right from the very beginning that "mom" was being a control freak and it had nothing to do with her wanting to be in her own home because she was grieving, it was easier, or whatever..

Now she's instituting the "punishment" scenario.. "Fine - my DD doesn't want to do things MY way, I'll just go off out of town and not even call her.."

Childish behavior..

OP: Stay home and let "mom" do whatever she wants to do - including not talking to you if she feels the need to punish you and your entire family..

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

DH and i don't even have any kids and i wish we didn't have to go anywhere on Christmas. we have about 4 different places we have to go to on Christmas Day(not to mention most of those places we also do on Christmas Eve) and it's always either freezing outside or snowing like crazy. i'd rather we stay at home and celebrate together, but both of our families just expect us to show up all day long

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

Absolutely! This is why I said right from the very beginning that "mom" was being a control freak and it had nothing to do with her wanting to be in her own home because she was grieving, it was easier, or whatever..

Now she's instituting the "punishment" scenario.. "Fine - my DD doesn't want to do things MY way, I'll just go off out of town and not even call her.."

Childish behavior..

OP: Stay home and let "mom" do whatever she wants to do - including not talking to you if she feels the need to punish you and your entire family..

my mother has a knack for doing that type of thing when she gets angry with me. and she'll even say it in that manner. when DH and i first started doing the family functions together she had an issue with that because i didn't get to see her ALL day, only for part of the day because i also had to see my in-laws. she'd get so angry she'd just say "well fine. you don't want to spend the holidays with me? i just WON'T celebrate them! how would you like that?"

but the guilt trip has never worked on me. i just tell her "ok whatever you wanna do then" and she'll get angry at me with that, too. there's no pleasing that woman.....

 

[Silent1CB]

We host Christmas each year. We have 5 families that travel up to 2 hrs to get here. Most are around just 1 hour though. Some sleep here. Others sleep at another siblings that is nearby.

We must be weird since it seems most of you do not see family on Christmas.

This year however, we are doing it on Dec 26, sort of for the reasons you've stated. I want to give everyone a chance to have their own Christmas at home. Second, I'm trying to save a bit of money by not having a huge sit-down meal on Christmas for everyone, and just having something a bit more casual on Dec 26.

I'm not sure everyone liked the idea however. Even though they said it was fine. I think some might end up being alone on actual Christmas day. Or might just end up with a regular meal for themselves & not make anything special.