Need help from parents-Do I tell or not?

[SueM in MN]

I hate it when people try to come up with excuses for stuff kids do, which sounds like some people are trying to do.

I think there is a difference between an excuse and a reason that something might have happened. That doesn't mean that something shouldn't be done about the situation.

I don't get the feeling that people (me included) are trying to make excuses for that site showing up, more to consider that there could be other reasons besides that someone intended to go there. And to consider that however the coputer got to that site, it could have been anyone who had access to that computer.
If the kids got there by accident, the action would be different than it would be if a child was going to those sites on purpose and repeatedly.

 

[Marseeya]

I would talk to everyone involved & find out. I hate it when people try to come up with excuses for stuff kids do, which sounds like some people are trying to do. (I work in the schools & you wouldn't believe the excuses some parents make for their kids...maybe that is why this thread is bothering me sooo much). Looking at this stuff is serious business & I would most definetely want to know if it were my DD. I would not take it lightly if someone suspected my DD.

Nobody's coming up with excuses, but possible reasons that could have come up on the computer. I'd be pretty ticked off if someone accused me of visiting a site like that when I came across it by accident or if I didn't actually do it. As a parent, I wouldn't take very kindly to someone telling me that my child did this without tangible proof.

 

[daisyduck123]

That is why I said to talk to everyone involved & find out...but to let it just go because it was probably an accident, as some posters have said...I do not agree with. We know "sex" was typed in.

 

[Marseeya]

That is why I said to talk to everyone involved & find out...but to let it just go because it was probably an accident, as some posters have said...I do not agree with. We know "sex" was typed in.

Do you really think one instance of someone typing in that word is worth a big confrontation and embarrassing all the kids?

 

[daisyduck123]

Do you really think one instance of someone typing in that word is worth a big confrontation and embarrassing all the kids?

Yes I do. They obviously saw it so someone should talk to them about it. I know if it were my DD seeing something like that for the 1st time I would want to talk to her about it, explain that stuff like that sometimes comes up, etc.

As for embarrassing all the kids...well, that's tough. I hope they were embarrassed when the site came up. Parents have to do what is best for their kids...too bad if they get embarrassed. Adults know best.

Also, IF there's one time with one of the kids, then there has, or will be, more. I can't believe any parent would want to just let that go. Also, the original poster is concerned because these girls will be spending 2 weeks together on a trip & it if is this "friend", it sounds like she may not be well supervised on the computer.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

here is what i am guessing happened.

A told B and B told C...Oh sorry, that's another story.

I think the visiting friend at one time or another, not this time, accidentally came across this cheerleader picture. If the rest of the history shows cheerleading sites, seems this girl really enjoy looking up cheerleading. So, she accidentally comes across it, and being 13, and probably the 1st time she has seen something like that, wants her friends "to check it out".

I would not say anything. They were probably just being curious kids. But then again, maybe I am niave. If the rest of the history were sites like that, I would worry, but it seems it was a one-time deal. "hey guys, look at this." and it was done.

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

I would not say anything. They were probably just being curious kids. But then again, maybe I am niave. If the rest of the history were sites like that, I would worry, but it seems it was a one-time deal. "hey guys, look at this." and it was done.

This is my opinion also.

 

[lucyanna girl]

Hey, One night my farmer husband was looking on the internet for a cotton picker located in our home state of Louisiana or an neighboring one. He saw a reference to a Texas stripper. Took the poor guy FOREVER to get all the stuff off of our family computer that he downloaded when he clicked on it!

 

[disykat]

A told B and B told C...Oh sorry, that's another story.
.

LOL! I'd tell all the parents that this site was accessed during that time so they would know what their kids saw at your house. I'd let the parents take it from there. Meanwhile, I'd investigate and discuss with my own child.

I don't think blame necessarily needs to be established, but it does need to be discussed with all the children involved. Just use the incident as a reason to have another discussion about internet safety, etc.

 

[Poohlovr]

I did a search one time for a Power Rangers toy....I just clicked on each listing in the search. One of them, even though it listed Power Ranger toys in the title and description, was definitely NOT Power Rangers. It was pretty raunchy.

My point is, it was an innocent search. The site linked to it was definitely not innocent. Maybe the same thing happened here? Especially since there was only one pic.

Just curious, how do you know they typed in the word sex?

 

[SueM in MN]

There are some posters who seem to be making an assumption that the visiting girl was intentionally going to that site and is a guilty party. (At least that's how some posts look to me). And that she is not well supervised on the computer.
There is no proof of either.
All that is known is that someone went to that site. Maybe her, maybe someone else.
WHO it was or whether it was accidental or on purpose is not known.

It could have been anyone who had access to that computer and there could be other reasons besides that someone intended to go there. I know I have been sitting with my DDs when they accidentally got to some of those types of sites, so I know it can happen innocently.
For example, this link says it goes to the Disboards Theme Park Board, but does it? (Don't worry, it doesn't go anywhere bad).
Could they have gone to an innocent looking link from the site they were on right before that? That has happened to me and to my DDs, so I know it can happen. That is how some of the "bad guys" on the internet work, by tricking people to get to their site. I even know someone whose business site got hit by internet vandals and his links that were supposed to go to more information about his products, linked to some pretty explicit sites until he was notified and fixed it.

Could someone else have gone to that site previously and they just typed in the first few letters (and then the computer completed the site as a choice)? If that happened, they may have gotten there innocently and there might be a problem with someone else. (if the OP didn't erase the history, you could probably still get to that site by typing in the first 2 letters).

To accuse that girl of doing something wrong when it might be accidental or it might be someone else is wrong IMHO. IMHO accusing someone of purposely going there is going to make the problem worse if they got there accidentally. They are not likely to tell anyone the next time because this time they got in trouble for something they didn't mean to do.

So, I think the best may be to have a "blameless" talk about it. That you know someone ended up on an explicit site and however it happened, those are not sites that are acceptable to your family. That you know that sometimes getting to those sites can happen to you whether or not you plan to go there. They need to know what to do if it happens and that the adults won't be upset if notified they got there by mistake.
And that if they got there, accidentally or on purpose, they need to know that's not an OK thing to show/take others to.

If they got there accidentally, it may lead to a discussion about the dangers of the internet. If they got there on purpose, they know you are watching.

 

[Mariposa]

I would probably leave it alone. It was one picture and was probably shared in the tone of "ewwwww, can you believe this?" since the girls are only 13. However, if you're truly concerned I'd suggest subtly bringing the subject up with the children that live nearby? I just think that a lot more harm can come from making a big deal of this than good can. I mean, if a finger gets pointed at the visiting girl and she wasn't the one who accessed the site (or convincingly denies it, even) then you could have more than one set of parents upset with you or confused about the situation, not to mention inspiring the whining of the girls who would (in dramatic teenage fashion) most likely think you were 'trying to break up their friendship' or some such nonsense. I know you had said you would leave names out of it, but since your mind immediately went to the child not related to you I bet your SILs mind would immediately head that direction as well.

 

[Marseeya]

I'm just guessing this is how the OP found out, but if you type something into the address bar on IE, it'll show up in the drop down list. Otherwise, it won't.

However, the address bar will automatically fill out a site that's been accessed, even if it wasn't typed in.

Does that make sense?