Need Discipline idea

[luvmyfam444]

Just got an email from dd's teacher - during her spelling pretest she was copying off her spelling list. She's 2nd grade. I feel AWFUL 'cause she probably wouldn't have done that had we studied the words.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

If it were me and I say that again.....if it were me, I'd let her know it was wrong and that it was cheating and I'd leave it at that.

I would make it a point to make sure that she does review her words every night.

 

[taylor3297]

Just got an email from dd's teacher - during her spelling pretest she was copying off her spelling list. She's 2nd grade. I feel AWFUL 'cause she probably wouldn't have done that had we studied the words.

First off don't blame yourself. Did she ask for help studying? My dd is in 2nd grade also and she knows her spelling test is every Friday. If she wants help studying she will ask us to help her.

When she gets home, sit down and have a nice chat. Tell her about the email, then give her the opportunity to explain her side. Don't let her blame anyone but herself. Yes, she might not have known how to spell all the words, but cheating is not the solution. She is old enough to take responsibility. Let her know that you are there for her and are willing to help, but cheating is not an option.

As to what "punishment" to give for the cheating is a hard call. If it were my daughter, she would not be allowed to watch any tv, she would have to study the spelling words that were on the test she cheated and I would give her a test at home.

 

[mamacatnv]

I wouldn't punish at all, I would use this as a way to teach that this was in fact cheating. Then I would brainstorm with DD to come up with a plan so that she knows her words.

What we did for a Friday spelling test:
Wednesday afternoon - Write each word on a 3x5 card
Thursday - Written Pretest. For words missed she has to write them 3x's each. Friday morning, we review via the flashcards. We discovered DD has a heck of a time reciting the word but can almost always write it.

 

[brockash]

Huh, I have a 3rd grader and he's had spelling words since 1st grade. Every week starting on Monday we practice his spelling words. I'll tell him the word and he'll have to write it down and spell it to me. It's just part of our routine...we do it every single night Mon.-Thurs.(even if that means we're doing it in the car on the way to soccer/football ect.) If he's having trouble with a few of them still on Thursday, we'll try to review them on the way to school Fri. am. I don't know, I think at that age, kids are way too young to be in charge of their own homework/studying for tests ect. I am looking forward to the day that I tell him he's in charge of it all, and if he can keep a certain GPA, I'll stay out of it, but I can't imagine that'll be anytime soon. I'm thinking more like 9thish grade. I've actually started doing spelling with 2 of his friends too, on football nights (Mon., Tues. and Thurs.) They both come from not the best homes and they really do want to do well, but for them, they can't get it done on their own. Their actually kinda excited to do it, unlike my son, who's just annoyed by it

As far as punishment...I too would probably just have a serious talk about it with my kiddo. Explain that it's not okay and explain how it really just hurts him in the long run, as he didn't really learn how to spell them ect., but for the first time cheating, I'd probably leave it at that. Now if it becomes a pattern; there would have to be consequences for me.

 

[locolala]

Is the teacher going to punish her at all, meaning does she get an F on the pretest? If so, I would hope that would be enough to dissuade her from doing it again. If not, I would make sure that she fully understands that cheating is NOT ok. Take away some privledges until she's able to spell each and every word on that list without any trouble. If she cheats again, make her practice "Would you like fries with that?" over and over.

 

[luvmyfam444]

. If she cheats again, make her practice "Would you like fries with that?" over and over.

 

[luvmyfam444]

Got dd in the car & she spilled the story right away. Of course she tried to balme the boy next to her - she said he was doing it so she decided to also - she even told the teacher who didn't believe her (so great - now she talked back to the teacher too!)

The pretest is not graded - she did have to throw it in the trash, though.

We did have a discussion on why cheating is bad - ya know not learning the material & if you are a doctor & didn't learn - ya know that kind of speech...and she was very receptive -even answering the questions I asked.

I'm agreeing with y'all right now - that may have been enough. I'll ask her daddy later....

may add a letter of apology to the teach or maybe a this is why I shouldn't cheat kind of sentence writing though... still can't completely decide...

 

[postage stamp]

Got dd in the car & she spilled the story right away. Of course she tried to balme the boy next to her - she said he was doing it so she decided to also - she even told the teacher who didn't believe her (so great - now she talked back to the teacher too!)

The pretest is not graded - she did have to throw it in the trash, though.

We did have a discussion on why cheating is bad - ya know not learning the material & if you are a doctor & didn't learn - ya know that kind of speech...and she was very receptive -even answering the questions I asked.

I'm agreeing with y'all right now - that may have been enough. I'll ask her daddy later....

may add a letter of apology to the teach or maybe a this is why I shouldn't cheat kind of sentence writing though... still can't completely decide...

I think that's an EXCELLENT idea. And make her work all her spelling words into the letter, lol

 

[KerriSue]

The letter is by far the best punishment! Shame....it works!

Thats all part of my parenting....Guilt, Shame, Bribery...

 

[laurie31]

Got dd in the car & she spilled the story right away. Of course she tried to balme the boy next to her - she said he was doing it so she decided to also - she even told the teacher who didn't believe her (so great - now she talked back to the teacher too!)

The pretest is not graded - she did have to throw it in the trash, though.

We did have a discussion on why cheating is bad - ya know not learning the material & if you are a doctor & didn't learn - ya know that kind of speech...and she was very receptive -even answering the questions I asked.

I'm agreeing with y'all right now - that may have been enough. I'll ask her daddy later....

may add a letter of apology to the teach or maybe a this is why I shouldn't cheat kind of sentence writing though... still can't completely decide...

My thoughts are that she's only 7, and for a first time offense, the talk was enough. She may not have grasped that it was bad to cheat since the test didn't actually count for a grade. Explain that the point of the pretest was to let HER know what words she needed to study more, so she could then make a good grade on the real test, not to impress the teacher that she could already spell them.

It seems like she listened to you and now understands that it is wrong. My guess is she won't do it again. If she does, then bring out the punishment.

 

[shinysparklybubbles]

The letter is by far the best punishment! Shame....it works!

Thats all part of my parenting....Guilt, Shame, Bribery...

Ditto!

 

[Pembo]

It's a pretest...they don't count for a grade anyway. I always thought a spelling pretest was to see how many words you knew before you studied the list?! At our school, if you pass the pretest you opt out of spelling that week. If you don't pass, you do all the spelling work and know which words you really have to study.

Maybe she was telling the truth, she saw the other kid and thought it was okay. I'd cut her break...this time. The teacher handled it, she's 7, first offense.

 

[C.Ann]

I guess for a first time, the talk and a letter of apology to the teacher would be sufficient..

A second time? She'd be writing spelling words forever..

 

[3smithboys]

I am a teacher and a parent... I was going to suggest the apology letter. When my boys did something "wrong" at school, that's what I had them do - and we talked about it while they were writing the letter. That seemed to work better than any punishment. It really hit home for them that their actions hurt others, and that their father and I were disappointed.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

letter of apology and try to incorporate a spelling word or 2. And maybe lose a recess?

If the teacher is going to punish her, I don't think she should be punished at home too. Just a good stern talk about cheating and why it's bad.

And a talk about just because someone else does something doesn't give you the right to do that too.

 

[smb6]

I think a talking to should be sufficient, if she does it again I'd make a bigger deal.... In 2nd grade she should understand what cheating is, but she may not have thought much of it....

I know at the start of first grade the teacher said they are teaching kids not to cheat, that they don't always understand exactly what it means to cheat. She gave an example that one student usually struggled with spelling tests. Andthen one week he got a 100%. The boy excitedly and proudly went to the teacher and said "Mrs.XXX, do you know how I did so much better this week?" The teacher asked how and he answered, "I copied all the words from the spelling list!". He was excited and proud and had no idea he had done anything wrong...... Obviously your daughter is older and likely understands, but she is still young and I think a warning wouldbe ok for now....

 

[luvmyfam444]

Thanks for the replies - I soooo would have gone overboard if I hadn't have asked y'all!

the teacher didn't punish - just threw the paper away


All I did was tell her to right down 5 sentences of why cheating was bad (we'd already talked about that) and she was used to doing 5 sentences in her journal last year.