Need [dating] Advice

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

OK, here's the situation [my parents went a way for a weeks vacation...]:

I have a friend who I totally like. All of the people who know both of us keep calling him my boyfriend to tease me. And seriously tell me that we are acting like we are dating. But we aren't. About 7 months ago I touched on the topic and he said that he thought of me as a friend and nothing else. Since then we started doing a lot more of these things that friends tease me about.

We hang out all the time and do things that I hear are not normal for co-ed friends to do. He came to my xmas party with me, overnight trips to Vegas (we live 4 hours away), wine tasting and sharing things that no one else in our lives know. Very personal things.

I read "He's Just Not That Into You" and according to that, if he were that into me he would have made a move by now. But I can't help but think that we have so much trust between us that he is worried I may freak if he tries something. Of course I think I know deep down I am just fooling myself and there will never be anything more between us. And I wonder if he forgot about the conversation 7 months ago. He has a very bad memory (about everything) due to an accident years ago.

No game playing, just stuck in friends mode. Any suggestions on making that leap or approaching that topic without ruining the friendship? I feel like I am in high school again instead of my late 20s (he is in his mid 30s).

 

[diznygirl]

Could be he just thinks of you as a friend.

That's what my DH told me once upon a time.

 

[Serena]

From what I hear, if he hasn't tried something, then he really is fine with how it is now.

I could be wrong, you could force the issue and he may realize how much time he's wasted. I don't know, everyone is different.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Have you been out with another guy since you two became friends? If so, how did he react? I think you could tell a lot from that.

 

[diznygirl]

Just to add - DH was scared to mess up the friendship. He knew if he made a move, that would be it. We talked about it, and decided we were both confident we would work as a couple.

You didn't mention how you feel. If you love him then you should talk to him. Good luck.

 

[DisTeach1]

I'd say he's very comfortable with the way things are. Keep in mind, that guys are geared for sex, and if he hasn't made a move, then he's probably not interested in you that way. Maybe start doing a little less with him, without making a big deal about it, and see how he reacts. And, he probably has not forgotten your conversation you had.

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

I really like him. I think we would be good together - same place in life, same wants for the future, have a ton of fun together, can tell each other anything. I'm so scared to say anything though to mess it up.

I haven't been out with anyone else. I have a date on Saturday though that I'm only going on because he kept teasing/goading me into it. He's been out with a few people but can always find fault with them or the situation.

I think high school was easier.

 

[SDFgirl]

I was in your situation with a male friend of mine - I thought we'd make a perfect couple and I really liked him.

I wrote him a letter, and he replied the same way - he was very sorry, but just thought of me as a friend. I thought my heart was going to break.

We continued to hang out, though, and a year and a half later...I met my husband through him! It felt right for both of us right away. Of course, everything worked out for the best - my husband is so wonderful and my TRUE best friend! I look back shudder at the thought that I might have missed the opportunity to meet my husband.

The three of us (plus my guy friend's wife) are all good friends now!

My point is, even if things don't work out the way you want, there may be a reason that he's still in your life.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Any suggestions on making that leap or approaching that topic without ruining the friendship?

I would just go ahead and ask if he has any feelings for you since you guys hang out all the time.
Get his answer and then move on.

I don't think you are scared to ask really...
You are scared of his answer.
So if he says "no interested in you", can YOU handle it?
Can you still be friends?

If not, don't ask.