Need budget 50th b-day ideas!

[jmet]

OK - so this year is my DH's 50th and I am very confused about what kind of a celebration to have. The problem is he is a very social kind of guy - tons of friends, involved in Scouts and very involved in serving at church, plus he has a huge family. I would love to just throw a huge party as I am pretty sure he'd love that, but there is no way I could afford it and we could never fit that many people in our house! So that idea is out.

I've thought alot about doing a (much smaller) surprise party, but in the end decided that he would be just as happy to help plan it. He is very much the one who loves to cook/entertain. So we discussed it and he decided that because a party would be so expensive that we should just invite our two families out to dinner (everyone would pay for themselves as this has been done before and is very acceptable to all) and then we would go spend the night at a local hotel, just the two of us. Now this sounds GREAT to me - but I know deep down this type of celebration is much more what *I* would choose than what HE would and I'm having a hard time letting go of the idea of having a party for him. I did let him talk me out of having a party for him for his 40th and of course he never complained, but I still felt like it was something he would have really enjoyed. He did throw a surprise party for me for my 40th (and invited alot of his (and "our") friends LOL!). That was easily 60 people and didn't even include his family (there are over 40 of us including kids). That was mostly friends from church and that was 6 years ago - and now that list has grown even more since he keeps finding new places to serve!

I suggested to him that we just have a dinner party for our "closest" friends from church (in addition to going out with our families) and he was only luke warm on that idea because he felt it would be very hard to keep the list short and he didn't want to figure out who not to invite...

I was thinking about reserving a room at church and *just* serving cake/coffee/punch - this would be right after a service (and I would make it a surprise), but it seems like there should be food. I ran it by some friends and some felt just cake was fine, some felt I'd need to serve food, esp. since it would be lunch time. I admit I agree with there should be food...

Of course I know I could ask people to bring stuff, but I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with that either. Plus it seems confusing to figure out how to work that with such a big group. Any thoughts on that?

What to do??? I'm feeling inclined to just go with the family dinner and the quiet celebration at this point, but I feel a little sad not to acknowledge this big b-day in a way that really reflects him! He's been talking about "you only turn 50 ONCE" and "I'll be half way to 100!!" for months, so I know it's a big deal to him. I just can't figure out a way to make it special/fun without going broke given his huge circle of friends and family! HELP!

Oh my goodness - I am sorry this got soooo long!!!

 

[disneydreamersx4]

your DH sounds like mine, a people person Well, I just got done throwing mine a 40th and it wasn't a surprise because like you I thought he would enjoy planning the party and plus he was such a big help the day of. I was so exhausted at the end of the night after doing all the cooking with MIL. There were about 50 people at a rented hall. In hindsight, I wish I would have chosen a different menu to save on the budget. We served chicken marsala and chicken francese, sausage & peppers, pasta, wine and beer. I should have just ordered pizza and 2 six foot hero's that's the most budget friendly idea I can come up with. Oh well, he enjoyed the party and I told him the next party we throw for him is when he turns 80

 

[jmet]

Yep! A "people person". That's him all right!!

Your menu sounds very yummy! I am not an enthusiastic cook (you can probably guess that's his dept.) so I am challanged when it comes figuring out any menu that doesn't involve caterers or restaurants!

Hadn't thought of the 6 foot sub idea hmmmm.......might have to look into that! Thanks for the idea!

 

[Perditamarie]

Perhaps you can do an open house....invite the multitude of friends to stop by, but maybe not having everyone at once will be easier to handle.

Consider serving munchies like soda,cheese/crackers, chips, veggie tray and of course, cake. I also like the sandwich idea. Or you could do a dessert theme and have a bunch of baked goods...who wouldn't love that!

Happy planning!

 

[Cdn Gal]

I like the open house idea- I was thinking that you could possibly get the church hall and then have a potluck- everybody LOVES potluck! Don't feel bad about it- in our family it is expected that everyone contribute to something (i.e.) salads etc. For my DH mother in law- 65th this year we invited 60+ people to the casino- they have a great buffet and then people were able to go or stay if they liked. (everyone paid for their own buffet) Anyway hope this helps!

 

[jmet]

Yes, I agree that open house style is the only way that we could accomadate such a large group. The only thing is that if I were to do that I'd have to do it as a surprise since he insists that we should not spend the money on a big party right now (we also have our oldest son's graduation open house coming up 3 months after this). He's right, but I am still torn.

In my mind it would be hard to have an open house and still do pot luck...can't quite figure out how that would work...just ask "some" people to bring, but not everyone?

The casino buffet is actually exactly what he's thinking of for the "family" party. He loves a buffet! I have thought about doing something similar on a different night/place with friends, but I worry that it might seem "cheap" if we don't treat. Well, for some I would feel comfortable with the idea and others I'm not as sure about...

 

[sk!mom]

I would do the come and go Open House. I personally don't care for cake and punch in the church hall type things.

You could have it over several hours and serve chips, dips, cheese trays, cookies, brownies, cupcakes. Just light appetizers and desserts. In my experience, no one expects a full meal at a come and go party. Also, if his family is cool with a "dutch treat" meal, maybe some of the closer family would be willing to help prepare the food since that's a bit overwhelming for you. Have two punch bowls (one alcoholic and one not) rather than a bar. You should really be able to do it for not much more than a nice dinner out and a night in a nice hotel.

Oh, and I would have the party is he's that kind of guy.

 

[jmet]

Ya know, I am leaning away from having anything at the church the more I think about it because the cake/punch idea just doesn't feel like "enough" and risks seeming "lame". But having food (at the church) seems even more complicated than I originally thought because I am realizing that not only would this group include friends/spouses, but also their families!
I asked one friend how many people she thought I'd be looking at if I did it at church and included everyone he's friends with - (just from church I mean) she also goes to our church and lives in our neighborhood - so she knows him pretty well ~ and she said 300 people ummm I don't THINK so! She exagerates (sp?) just a little. At least I HOPE so!

I'm thinking we'd end up with about 1/3 number when it's said and done. Very hard to tell though. That's what makes it difficult to plan.

I'm going to look into the sub idea. I think that would be good along with the chips/dips and veggie trays. That is my speed as far as cooking goes !

 

[PrincessNoelle'sMom]

Just an idea, but look into your local firehouse/VFW/Italian-American (or whatever nationality) clubs. They do great parties and will provide food (in some instances for a small donation), and hold alot of people. They also usually have their own bar so you can have a cash bar for those that will drink alcohol and have system for music (cd's, etc...) It's a win/win for both the organization and you. I know that you are budget concerned and I can totally appreciate that in this economy, but your DH will only turn 50 once and you don't want to look back and regret not giving him a party that he seems to really want!

 

[jmet]

I never thought of looking into any other venues as I automaticlly assumed it wouldn't be an option due to cost. I also had no idea they might do food/open bar - wow. That would be awesome! It's definately worth checking out ! Thanks for the idea!

 

[ferrytale]

Depending on when your DH's bday is maybe you could get a pavilion at a local park and have a picnic? We usually have a big bday party for my DH - we've scaled back the food the past couple years and just did burgers & hot dogs, baked beans, pasta/potato salad, chips, and drinks. But everyone gets to come and hang out, DH loves it, and some people offer to bring stuff - I usually just say "if you want to you can, but you don't have to" and let them know what we are having.
Plus the guys get into the grilling so it's less cooking for me!!!

 

[Bren's Mom]

If all of your close friends/family are willing to pay for their own meals for a nice dinner out why not talk to them, let them know dh would love to have a party, and ask if they'd contribute to the party?

Hopefully you could get the church hall or a VFW hall or some place like that, inexpensive. Have it at 3pm or 7pm, not at a meal time. Serve veggies, chips, pretzels, a couple different dips, cheese and crackers. Soft drinks and beer and wine if you do alcohol. Cake and coffee.

Plastic tablecloths purchased on sale. Bulk white plastic plates, just the small ones are all you'd need for the munchies and cake. A bulk box of forks/spoons. A couple dozen balloons. A homemade 50th birthday banner.

Everyone can either be responsible for an 'item' (like balloons, or the cheese and crackers) or they could just give you what the dinner would cost. I normally think you pay for parties if you're hosting, but if your family and his are willing then...why not?

And invites can be as simple as being printed in black on your own printer, just a regular white 8.5x11 piece of paper. (You can also check dollar stores for 8.5x11 paper with party borders, mine have 100 sheets for $1.)

 

[v.t.]

Depending on the age group of your friends, you could do a "BYOP" bring your own picnic at the local park. The little kids play at the playground and the older "kids" play kick ball or baseball. (of course the Dads and several Moms always get involved). All you would have to provide is the cake and maybe lemonade or ice water.

 

[Happy vacationer]

My idea is a little different. You could arrange for a birthday adventure for your husband. You could arrange for him to follow a specific map and stop at friends houses along the way. You could arrange for him to receive "50" of something (candy bars, lotto tickets, etc.) and he would have to stop at each place to get his birthday loot and a birthday wish. I realize it would be a lot of stopping but you could really make a day of it and start by going for breakfast or stopping for a meal during the event or after.

 

[jmet]

I would totally consider doing the park/picnic idea but it isn't an option since his b-day is in late March and weather in MN won't allow it. Actually that might have been one of my first choices if it were possible (well, not counting non- budget ideas!)

I am thinking we might stick with doing the family dinner idea even if I do a party for friends just becuase his family alone is huge size wise (about 46 people including all the kids, and that's just siblings/spouses and nieces/nephews) Plus my family - which is just my parents and 3 brothers. If we do dinner we'll leave it open to the whole group but they will probably choose to do adults/older teens only and I have a hunch they'd much prefer that over contributing to a huge party. None of them has ever chosen to have a party for a "big" b-day other than to celebrate with family. Not a bad idea really (to ask them to help) but I'm just not sure they'd be open to it so I'd hesitate to ask and feel like I was putting them in an awkward position - ya know?

I really LOVE the send him on an adventure idea!! That is SO me! I actually did something very similar for my mom for her 70th. Sent her a huge balloon in the morning with a poem to start her on a treasure hunt. She was sent from place to place picking up little gifts as she went like a corsage, a new CD, a b-day cake and then a gift card for lunch at a casual resturant where I had a whole room of her friends waiting to surprise her! She was really shocked! But the best part was that the day wasn't over and when lunch was done she recieved another "clue" to head home for another "gift". I had a small gift (earrings I think?) waiting for her and instructions to head over to my house. When she got here I surprised her with her sister and a couple of their mutual friends who came from out of town. My brothers came over and we visited and opened gifts - the ones they brought plus my brothers and I went in and got her a digital camera and had secretly taken her 2 dogs in for portraits, along with my 2 boys (her only grandchildren). After that we all went to Applebees for dinner, surprised her with another cake and called it a day - She was beyond thrilled to say the least. For Christmas that year I made (ok, I had a very talented friend make) her a scrapebook of the day and it was her favorite present. Good memories! I do wish I could come up with something similar for DH, but he's pretty much on to me because I did something like that to him once too - although it was years ago for our 5th anniversary I think. I also did it to my whole family at DW a few years ago (used Gifts of a Lifetime). Yeah, I know...It's sooo much fun though!

I sure appreciate all the ideas and thoughts - Thanks!

 

[tinkntraining]

Here's another idea to make the day special for your DH -- find online quotes, funny things...about turning 50 and being "over the hill". Print them out and put them all over the house on his birthday -- I had them on the front door, inside the toilet lid, in his sock drawer, on the bathroom mirror, hidden in his lunch, on his steering wheel, taped onto the OJ carton in the fridge, on the shower faucet....everywhere you can think of. Throw around a couple of random black Over The Hill balloons. It really brought a little giggle and a smile each time he found one, and made his momentous birthday a little more special. (He even found one that was apparently very well hidden, about 6 months after his birthday).

Sounds like you're a wonderful wife for trying to make his 50th special! Have a great time

 

[jmet]

I LOVE the idea of putting the quotes all around!! This is sooo perfect for him - he is known for loving quotes and sayings! So much so that sometimes it drives me and our boys crazy ! I'm totally gonna do that!
Thanks for the great idea - he's going to love it!

 

[tinkntraining]

I LOVE the idea of putting the quotes all around!! This is sooo perfect for him - he is known for loving quotes and sayings! So much so that sometimes it drives me and our boys crazy ! I'm totally gonna do that!
Thanks for the great idea - he's going to love it!

I'm so glad it works for you! You're going to have a ball doing it! Hoping he has a WONDERFUL 50th!

 

[jmet]

I appreciate creative ideas to make the day special and memorable because I would like to incorportate things like that - big party or not! I am also trying to think up things I can do 50 of...(that I can afford) so far all I've come up with is making a list of 50 reasons we love him, and baking him 50 choc. chip cookies...

If anyone has anything else to add feel free. I need all the help I can get!

Thanks again for all the ideas!

 

[KennedyMcKenna]

My whole family works for the local school system, and I know the schools are hurting for money. Is it possible to ask if the schools would rent out for a small fee their gym, cafeteria, library, or even a classroom? You could have a 'let's stay young' party. Make cds from your home computer and bring a boom box to play it on, that's free! Call it a dancing to the oldies (Or oldy as he would be) party. Tell friends to bring what they consider their healthiest dish; to usher in many more years to come. Did you guys go to high school together? Could you make it sort of like a homecoming re-do? Maybe then you could get away with your punch and cookies idea. That's what they serve at homecoming. Plus, if you have it in a school, you can't have wine or beer and thus no added expense. Another idea would be a tea or picnic indoors type party, at your church or local school. tea and sandwiches are inexpensive, egg salad, pb and j, ham salad, etc. Cut them into cute shapes, lay picnic cloths on the floor and pretend your in the great outdoors, in the bleak midwinter. You could even decorate with potted plants from your home to make it look like you're outdoors. Or single vases of inexpensive flowers. Little sandwiches, tea, maybe two kids of chips bought in bulk at a gordon food service or costco? It's more intimate even with a large group of people. Hope some of this helps, I'm so a planner!