Need BF Advice For DD

[LvsTnk]

Well, we fought this BF(16 &1/2 yo) thing at first as DD is only just turned 15 and has been dating him now for 6 months. So just when we have all adjusted as per advice from some great people here on the DIS BF's Stepdad gets transfered.

DD is beside herself...looks like the move will happen the middle to end of the summer. We live about an hour outside of Chicago and he will be in South Carolina. His real Dad lives about 20min. from us and I assume he will still be visiting him(he sees him every weekend now) even though BF's Mom NEVER speaks to him. He also has a brother attending college so will stay behind.

The problem...BF doesn't want to break up....DD thought it would just kind of end at first but now doesn't want to break up either.

So she is just ending her freshman year is she just supposed to stay home from the dances and not date either(kinda glad about that)?

They have decided they are meant to be together and this is only a bump in the road.

KIDS!! HELP!!

 

[DoeWDW]

Hopefully it will run its course. I think once they both start feeling like they're missing out on all the fun activities of high school, they'll make an agreement to date others. Good luck!!

 

[LvsTnk]

I have been hopefull it would run it's course for 6 months lol! But these 2 are crazy about each other. I met DH when I was 16 sooo kinda know how that is, but DH lived the next town over!

 

[ScarlettO]

Sadly, distance will probably end the relationship...unless she plans to skip all the dances and fun of her next 3 years of H.S.

And being serious over one person-that young- is not a smart move....

 

[Evil Princess]

Originally posted by ScarlettO

And being serious over one person-that young- is not a smart move....

I don't completely agree with that. I dated my ex-boyfriend from 15 to late 18 and don't feel like I missed out on anything. In fact comming to college, I realize how incredibly lucky I was to have such a great relationship and best friend at such a young age. If I could go back and do it over, I wouldn't do anything differently. It was a great experience.

But besides that, I do agree that distance will most likely break them up. Keep in mind that nothing you can say will change her mind, if you push them to break up she will most likely want to stay with him even more. Let things run their course, she's young, and that's a very far distance at such a young age.

 

[luv2nascar]

let it run it's natural course within months it will be over
they are too far apart and he will be meeting all new people
long distance relationships stink even for older adults let lone kids
they are just to hard to make work for most

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

She can still go to dances even if she has a boyfriend far away.
LDR's have worked however they are both young and I am sure will realize that an LDR isn't for them as soon as they start living far away from each other.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by DoeWDW
Hopefully it will run its course. I think once they both start feeling like they're missing out on all the fun activities of high school, they'll make an agreement to date others. Good luck!!

I think this too. I remember in HS when my HS boyfriend moved away, we were all about staying together at first but after a few months of boredom went by we agreed we were waaaay too young for that.

We both survived.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

Unfortunately distance broke up me and my DBF. We were together for 5 years and the last 4 years was long distance. It was great until the very end. We thought we would be together soon so why not enjoy the time and party with our friends. Bad choice, we broke up one month before we were to graduate from college with him telling me he had a serious gf a month after we broke up. Distance can be the enemy for a breakup.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

Unfortunately distance broke up me and my DBF. We were together for 5 years and the last 4 years was long distance. For those 4 years, we usually saw each other every weekend. It was great until the very end. We thought we would be together soon so why not enjoy the time and party with our friends. Bad choice, we broke up one month before we were to graduate from college with him telling me he had a serious gf a month after we broke up. Distance can be the enemy for a breakup.

 

[mickeyboat]

I moved away from DBF when I was a sophomore in HS. I was devastated that we were leaving. Saying goodbye to him was one of the hardest things I had ever done.

We tried to stay together and it lasted for about a year. He wanted to date other people. I was crushed but moved on. My graduation present from my parents was a trip back to visit my friends. I went back, DBF and I went out a couple of times (even though he had been dating someone else for over a year).

We started communicating again while I was in college (still far away). We got engaged after my sophmore year and married when I graduated. We have been married 12 years and have two beautiful DD's.

I am a firm believer in if it was meant to happen it will. If you love someone, set them free...

Good luck to you and your DD.

Denae

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

I think that time and distance will be an issue. I went to a camp in summer and for 2 of those years I had a summer boyfriend. I felt for sure that we would always be together. I live in the midwest and he is from California. Well, time passes and you get involved doing other things. You just get involved in your own "world". Initially she will have a hard time, but as school comes and she has fun, she will move on. If they try to keep together and it works, more power to them, but I think life might get in the way.

Anyway separately I want to say that DH and I started dating when I was 15, June 10th will mark our 20 year anniversary of our first date!

 

[Disney Doll]

If it's meant to be, it will be. Don't make light of her feelings, because to her they are very real.

My guess is that once school starts again, and they both start getting involved with school activities, it will slowly fade. If it doesn't, who knows??? Maybe they are "soul mates".

I wouldn't say too much negative...be patient and understanding and let it run its course.

 

[LvsTnk]

Well, she is better today! She said it will be better not to break up because she will have a harder time with it. She would rarther if things are going to end that they slowly fade away......

Thanks Everyone!