Need an objective opinion

[horseshowmom]

I would go to both of the games,,,as you stated your daughter made a commitment to the team, she should be there, if they miss regionals by one game and your daughter wasn't there, she will always feel that she let her team mates down..

I've learned through the years that you can't satisfy everybody, so you need to do what's best for your own family (that's what she's doing concerning her own son and his job).

 

[Barb D]

She needs to be at both games. She has a committment to her team, just as your nephew has a committment to his job.

 

[SC Minnie]

I agree with everyone else. She needs to be at both games. If another date doesn't work for everyone else then so be it but this date doesn't work for your family.

 

[golfgal]

It sounds like it is time to just start doing your own thing and if it works into the plans for you to attend a family celebration, great, if not, oh well, that is life. It sounds like your SIL likes things her way and her way only. We have a standing invitation for anyone from either side of the family to come to our house for Christmas. After many years of driving several hours to many different houses we finally had enough. No one has ever taken us up on spending the holidays here except DH's family last year came here. This year they all wanted to meet at a hotel for our Christmas celebration (which is the Saturday before Christmas) and I suggested on that has a GREAT indoor pool for the kids and lots of other things to do AND it was a 2 hour drive for EVERYONE. My MIL looked at me and said "well, who wants to drive that far for Christmas". Well apparently we do because the hotel they chose is 3 hours from our house and 10 minutes from their house.

 

[Nana Annie]

I agree with the posters that said she should go to both games. SIL's son has a commitment to his entire job that day and your daughter's goalie position is just as important of a job for an 11 year old as the job for the nephew.

And Mickey88 brings up a good point. If they don't make regionals by one game, your daughter is going to feel like she let the team down. AND the team may also feel she let them down as she is the starting goalie. It could possibly be pretty difficult for your daughter to go to school the next day and face the team if they lost. I don't know the girls on your team, but 11 year old girls in general can be pretty harsh.

Your family made a commitment, there aren't very many games, your nephew is not changing his commitment, your SIL won't change the date because she has a party - well, you can't make it because you have a commitment too.

 

[KAMLEM]

Thank you all for reinforcing our decision. I just wnated to make sure that we weren't being unreasonable. Happy Holidays to all.

 

[daisyduck123]

I would say to skip the family get-together. DD will probably be in a bad mood anyway (I know mine would) & why should your family have to be so accomodating when it sounds like your SIL is not trying to be accomodating at all. I realize she is having it at her house so she can pick the date/time but I just say "Skip it". Your DD should be with the team.

 

[Keli]

I guess I'm just not wired the same as a lot of the posters here on the DIS. I understand committments to sports teams, my dd played a couple of sports for her high school and on unumerable teams in rec sports over the years. But I considered my committments to family to have as high a ranking as any made to anyone, anything else. And when two committments come into conflict then adjustments have to be made. But I wouldn't just go to the games and let family fall to the side. Depending on the team and how necessary my dd was to their success I would either: A. Have dd skip both games and we all go to the holiday celebration, or B. Have either myself or dh take dd to one or both games and miss the family celebration while the rest of the family went. I know you stated your SIL won't be happy with that solution, and I'm sure you're right but I think it's important for your other children and spouse to see all the aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. Family doesn't usually stay close just because of blood ties. It takes contact, and get togethers at the holidays are especially meaningful.
I can see that the majority here on the DIS don't agree with my stance but I thought it might be important to let the OP see a different point of view.

 

[KAMLEM]

I understand your viewpoint, too, which is what makes this decision hard. I think that one of the things bothering me is that SIL seems to be making this difficult just for the sake of stirring things up. We are really only leaving an hour earlier than we usually leave so it shouldn't be a big deal. She strongly disagrees with the time and money that we spend on kids' sports and she has always made that clear regardless of the fact that it's none of her business. She has told us that she thinks it's ridiculous. SIL and BIL are very social people and over the years we have always had to work around their busy social calendar when we wanted to get together. Now that the table has turned she is being very inflexible. She apparently got to MIL and FIL before we did and now they are siding with her so they are making DH feel pretty bad. He won't give in, though. The girls' sports are very important to him. The problem is that we have to get together at some point because this is when we exchange gifts. That is another story in itself because they all demand lists from the kids and they have a really hard time with that. They are 9 and 11 and too old for toys now.

 

[Patio]

I'm not sure if it's been mentioned yet, but what does your daughter want to do? I know if it were my daughter, she'd want to be at BOTH games and I would make sure she was. I think your SIL is being VERY unreasonable and is probably unwilling to accomodate you because you missed it last year, even though you were sick. Please do what's right for YOUR family. Enjoy the games and best of luck to the team!