Need advice to give to co-worker - work,depression related - Long

[icebrat001]

I have a co-worker at my hotel job, her husband had an affair on her in December, she actually caught them in her bed. They tried to work things out but it didn't work. She moved out of their place in March and she has moved twice since then. She doesn't have any health insurance, she is really depressed and suicidal. The majority of her family is in Mexico and she has a few siblings in Texas. She was living with her sister, but her sister recently became very sick and flew back to Texas to be taken care of by family (Saturday).

Now that my co-workers sister has left, she doesn't have anyone to split rent with and she has to move again, but since she is seriously depressed and wants to kill herself, she wants to leave her job, for a month, go to Texas and get her head on right. After a month she would come back to the job or if she wasn't doing better mentally, she would not return.

Well, she asked our manager if she can leave for a month because she is really depressed and so on and the manager told her she is screwing up her plans and how she can't leave because we don't have anyone. Normally, the workers at the job is me, the manager, the co-worker and another person, but the other person whom we hired a month ago quit because the manager wasn't accommodating to her having a 3 year old and changed the schedule every other day. So now we are short an employee, I haven't had a day off in 9 days and won't get one off for another 4 days. The manager has a cruise booked for June 3rd and that is why she doesn't want the coworker to leave, she doesn't want to cancel her cruise. The manager is already complaining about hiring a replacement for the person that left recently but i'm the one that has been interviewing and looking for new people, so she's angry that she might have to find a replacement for co-worker and then another replacement for when I leave in June.

Co-worker and I do the 75% of the managers work, and cover a lot of her hours, so I suppose that's why the manager is mad.

What should my coworker do? I really think if she continues working there that she will kill herself, she needs medical treatment or family support. Why isn't the manager understanding, she's been divorced 3 times, surely she should understand.

Would my co-worker be covered under FLMA or something? What are her options, she is calling me crying and I don't know what to tell her, other than to give 2 weeks notice.

 

[Rajah]

Ouch. That is a tough situation, and I don't know what to tell her either other than giving her 2 weeks notice as well. It sounds like you think she really needs this break, even if it requires her quitting. I agree, the manager is walking on dangerous ground here with her.

I wonder, can she (your coworker) go up the ladder to someone higher up to request medical leave?

 

[Christine]

As long as your company has over 50 employees, I believe they have to give FMLA; however, you cannot just waltz into your boss and say you want time off, your job held for you, etc., because you are depressed. It seems to me that she will have to get a note from a doctor stating that she is in a depression and is seeking medical care. If she does not do that, I don't believe the company HAS to do anything.

Sounds to me like they need to hurry up and hire someone. This co-worker of yours doesn't sound in any shape to work.

 

[icebrat001]

Ouch. That is a tough situation, and I don't know what to tell her either other than giving her 2 weeks notice as well. It sounds like you think she really needs this break, even if it requires her quitting. I agree, the manager is walking on dangerous ground here with her.

I wonder, can she (your coworker) go up the ladder to someone higher up to request medical leave?

I also believe that she should talk to the next person up in command, but she is afraid that our manager would go nuts. The next person up in command works somewhere else 3 hours away, we never ever see her.

The manager and coworker have known one another for 6 years. When the manager got the job where we currently work, she also got this coworker to leave with her. They *had* an outside friendship but with all this stuff going on, they no longer talk. Everything comes to me. Coworker complains about boss to me, boss complains about coworker to me, sworn to secrecy on both ends. This is getting to be too much for even me.

 

[UrsulasMyHero]

I hate to say this, but you need to tell both of them to talk to each other, you shouldn't be playing middleman here. If you and the other co-worker are doing your manager's job then the person ahead of her needs to be notified.

For the one in the bad place, she needs the time off, she needs to talk to a counselor, and possibly get on medication, that's up to the doctors. If she hasn't started divorce proceedings, then she needs to talk to a lawyer regarding this. Her life has gone into a tail spin because her relationship went tail up. You said she doesn't have health insurance? Does your job not offer it? FMLA needs to be declared by the doctors, they have to fill out the paperwork, and return it to your HR department, but given that you are a small company, its doubtful that you guys are even covered under the provision.

I wish her all the luck in the world and speedy healing, but you can't be in the middle of it any more. If they try to place you there, tell them to talk it out.

 

[Arielle22]

Some questions to determine if FMLA might cover this leave

Has the coworker worked 1,250 hours in the past 12 months?

How long has she worked there?

How many employees does the company have in a 75 mile radius?

Your coworker would have to be seen by a doctor and have FMLA paperwork filled out. No illness other than HIV is automatically covered by FMLA so the company would have to review the paperwork before deciding if the leave is FMLA. Also just taking time off to get herself together wouldn't be covered. She would need to be treated.

There are also some states that have their own version of FMLA and their own criteria for it.

The first place to start is with the company handbook. Do you have one and does it state your leave policy? Is there a Human resources dept or person she can talk to?

Ultimately there is nothing you can do, your coworker must do it for herself.

 

[icebrat001]

I hate to say this, but you need to tell both of them to talk to each other, you shouldn't be playing middleman here. If you and the other co-worker are doing your manager's job then the person ahead of her needs to be notified.

For the one in the bad place, she needs the time off, she needs to talk to a counselor, and possibly get on medication, that's up to the doctors. If she hasn't started divorce proceedings, then she needs to talk to a lawyer regarding this. Her life has gone into a tail spin because her relationship went tail up. You said she doesn't have health insurance? Does your job not offer it? FMLA needs to be declared by the doctors, they have to fill out the paperwork, and return it to your HR department, but given that you are a small company, its doubtful that you guys are even covered under the provision.

I wish her all the luck in the world and speedy healing, but you can't be in the middle of it any more. If they try to place you there, tell them to talk it out.

I was under the impression that if you had a certain amount of employees one could qualify for FLMA. Between all of our properties I think we are at 50 -60 employees.

I have been stuck in the middle since January, first it began as can you find this out from so and so, or ask so and so to do this and it's continued

The other co-worker wants me to call with her to the higher up and let them know we are doing the managers work, however, we don't close on our house until the 24th of May, so I *have* to lay low until then.

 

[icebrat001]

Some questions to determine if FMLA might cover this leave

Has the coworker worked 1,250 hours in the past 12 months? Yes, she has

How long has she worked there? 2 years

How many employees does the company have in a 75 mile radius? Including maids, I think 20 maybe 30

Your coworker would have to be seen by a doctor and have FMLA paperwork filled out. No illness other than HIV is automatically covered by FMLA so the company would have to review the paperwork before deciding if the leave is FMLA. Also just taking time off to get herself together wouldn't be covered. She would need to be treated. I will let her know tomorrow, thanks

There are also some states that have their own version of FMLA and their own criteria for it.

The first place to start is with the company handbook. Do you have one and does it state your leave policy? Is there a Human resources dept or person she can talk to? I will look for a handbook, I am sure we have one somewhere around here. No HR department, we are very small. She doesn't have good english, so she kind of wants me to write things down for her to ask, but I've been telling her verbally, I'm not writing anything on paper.

Ultimately there is nothing you can do, your coworker must do it for herself
I will let her know, thanks again, I feel so bad for her. She wants to go back to Mexico.